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    Drunk With Blood: God's Killings in The Bible

    I kill ... I wound ... I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh. Deuteronomy 32:39-42

    BookChapterKilling EventBible's NumberEstimateVerse Numbers
    Genesis6The Flood of Noah: All flesh died that moved upon the earth020,000,000gen (6-8)
    Genesis13Abraham's war to rescue Lot01,000gen (13-14)
    Genesis18Sodom and Gomorrah22,000gen (18-19)
    Genesis19Remember Lot's wife (Forget Jesus)11gen (19-19)
    Genesis34The Dinah and Shechem Massacre21,000gen (34-34)
    Genesis38Er was wicked in the sight of the Lord (so the Lord slew him)11gen (38-38)
    Genesis38Onan spilled it on the ground (so the Lord slew him too)11gen (38-38)
    Genesis41God's seven-year, world-wide famine070,000gen (41-41)
    Exodus7There will be blood: The First Plague of Egypt010,000ex (7-7)
    Exodus9The seventh plague of Egypt: Hail shall come down upon them and they shall die.0300,000ex (9-9)
    Exodus12The Lord smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt2500,000ex (12-12)
    Exodus12The Lord took off their chariot wheels6005,000ex (12-14)
    Exodus17The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation01,000ex (17-17)
    Exodus32Who is on the Lord's side: Forcing friends and family to kill each other03,000ex (32-32)
    Exodus32The Lord plagued the people because of the calf that Aaron made01,000ex (32-32)
    Leviticus10God burned Aaron's sons to death for offering22lev (10-10)
    Leviticus24A blasphemer is stoned to death11lev (24-24)
    Numbers11While the flesh was still between their teeth, the Lord smote them with a very great plague010,000num (11-11)
    Numbers11When the people complained, God burned them to death0100num (11-11)
    Numbers13Ten scouts are killed for their honest report010num (13-14)
    Numbers15Sticks and stones: A man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day is stoned to death11num (15-15)
    Numbers16Korah and his companions are buried alive (along with their families)39num (16-16)
    Numbers16God burned 250 people to death for burning incense250250num (16-16)
    Numbers16God killed 14,700 for complaining about God's killings14,70014,700num (16-16)
    Numbers21The massacre of the Aradites03,000num (21-21)
    Numbers21God sent fiery serpents to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water0100num (21-21)
    Numbers25Phinehas's double murder: A killing to end God's killing224,002num (25-25)
    Numbers31The Midianite massacre: Have you saved all the women alive?0200,000num (31-31)
    Deuteronomy2God the giant killer05,000dt (2-2)
    Deuteronomy2God hardens king Sihon's heart so that all his people can be killed15,000dt (2-2)
    Deuteronomy2God slowly killed the Israelite army0300,000dt (2-2)
    Deuteronomy3Og and all the men, women, and children in 60 cities160,000dt (3-21)
    Joshua6The Jericho Massacre21,000jos (6-6)
    Joshua7Achan and his family are stoned and burned to death15jos (7-7)
    Joshua8The Ai Massacre12,00012,000jos (8-8)
    Joshua10Five kings are killed and hung on trees510,000jos (10-10)
    Joshua10Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord God commanded0700,000jos (10-10)
    Joshua10God stops the sun so that Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight05,000jos (10-10)
    Joshua11The genocide of the surrounding kingdoms: There was not left any left to breathe115,000jos (11-11)
    Joshua11The Anakim: Some more giant killing05,000jos (11-11)
    Judges1Five massacres, a wedding, and some God-proof iron chariots05,000jg (1-1)
    Judges1The Jerusalem massacre01,000jg (1-1)
    Judges1The Lord delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites10,00010,000jg (1-1)
    Judges3The Lord delivered Chushanrishathaim01,000jg (3-3)
    Judges3Ehud delivers a message from God11jg (3-3)
    Judges3God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites10,00010,000jg (3-3)
    Judges3Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad600600jg (3-3)
    Judges4Barak and God massacre the Canaanites11,000jg (4-4)
    Judges4Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull11jg (4-5)
    Judges6Gideon's Story: The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow120,000120,000jg (6-8)
    Judges8A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit1,0002,000jg (8-9)
    Judges11The Ammonite massacre020,000jg (11-11)
    Judges11Jephthah's daughter11jg (11-11)
    Judges1242,000 killed for failing the042,000jg (12-12)
    Judges13The spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he murdered thirty men for their clothes3030jg (13-14)
    Judges15The spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass1,0001,000jg (15-15)
    Judges16Samson killed 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack3,0003,000jg (16-16)
    Judges20A holy civil war (It had something to do with rotting, concubine body-part messages)65,10065,100jg (20-20)
    Judges21The end of Judges: Two genocides and 200 stolen virgins04,000jg (21-21)
    1 Samuel2God killed Eli's sons and 34,000 Israelite soldiers34,00234,0021sam (2-4)
    1 Samuel5God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts03,0001sam (5-5)
    1 Samuel650,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord50,07050,0701sam (6-6)
    1 Samuel7The Lord thundered great thunder upon the Philistines01,0001sam (7-7)
    1 Samuel11Another Ammonite massacre (and another God-inspired body part message)01001sam (11-11)
    1 Samuel14Jonathan's very first slaughter (not counting the one before)20201sam (14-14)
    1 Samuel14God forces the Philistines to kill each other01,0001sam (14-14)
    1 Samuel15The Amalekite genocide010,0001sam (15-15)
    1 Samuel15Samuel hacks Agag to pieces before the Lord111sam (15-15)
    1 Samuel15In the Valley of Elah: Goliath111sam (15-21)
    1 Samuel18David buys a wife with 200 Philistines foreskins2002001sam (18-18)
    1 Samuel23The Lord said to David, Go and smite the Philistines0101sam (23-23)
    1 Samuel24God killed Nabal (and David got his wife and other stuff)111sam (24-25)
    1 Samuel26David commits random acts of genocide for the Philistines060,0001sam (26-27)
    1 Samuel30David spends the day killing Amalekites01,0001sam (30-30)
    1 Samuel31God killed Saul (and his sons and soldiers) for not killing all the Amalekites41001sam (31-31)
    2 Samuel1David killed the messenger112sam (1-1)
    2 Samuel4David killed Rechab and Baanah, cut off their hands and feet, and hung their bodies over the pool222sam (4-4)
    2 Samuel5God helps David smite the Philistines from the front and the rear02,0002sam (5-5)
    2 Samuel6God killed Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling112sam (6-6)
    2 Samuel8David killed two thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest06672sam (8-8)
    2 Samuel8The Lord gave David victory wherever he went66,85066,8502sam (8-10)
    2 Samuel8David killed every male in Edom25,00025,0002sam (8-8)
    2 Samuel11God slowly kills a baby112sam (11-12)
    2 Samuel11Thus did David unto all the children of Ammon01,0002sam (11-12)
    2 Samuel21Famine and human sacrifice: Seven sons of Saul are hung up before the Lord73,0002sam (21-21)
    2 Samuel23David's mighty men and their amazing killings1,4033,4002sam (23-23)
    2 Samuel24God killed 70,000 because David had a census that God (or Satan) told him to do70,00070,0002sam (24-24)
    1 Kings2Solomon carried out the deathbed wish of David by having Joab and Shimei murdered221kg (2-2)
    1 Kings13A tale of two prophets111kg (13-13)
    1 Kings14Jeroboam's son: God kills another child111kg (14-14)
    1 Kings14Jeroboam's family0101kg (14-15)
    1 Kings16Baasha's family and friends0201kg (16-16)
    1 Kings16Zimri burns to death111kg (16-16)
    1 Kings16God kills Hiel's sons221kg (16-16)
    1 Kings17The drought of Elijah030,0001kg (17-18)
    1 Kings18Elijah kills 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest4504501kg (18-18)
    1 Kings20The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians010,0001kg (20-20)
    1 Kings20God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a God of the hills100,000100,0001kg (20-20)
    1 Kings20God killed 27,000 Syrians with a falling wall27,00027,0001kg (20-20)
    1 Kings20God sent a lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet111kg (20-20)
    1 Kings20God killed Ahab for not killing a captured king111kg (20-22)
    2 Kings1God killed king Ahaziah (of Israel) for asking the wrong god112kg (1-1)
    2 Kings1God burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill1021022kg (1-1)
    2 Kings2God sent two bears to rip apart 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head42422kg (2-2)
    2 Kings3The Lord delivered the Moabites05,0002kg (3-3)
    2 Kings6A skeptic is trampled to death112kg (6-7)
    2 Kings8God's seven year famine07,0002kg (8-8)
    2 Kings9Jezebel112kg (9-9)
    2 Kings9Jehoram of Israel112kg (9-9)
    2 Kings9Ahab's hometown family, friends, and priests0202kg (9-10)
    2 Kings9Jehu killed 42 of Ahaziah's family42422kg (9-22)
    2 Kings10Ahab's sons: 70 heads in two heaps70702kg (10-10)
    2 Kings10Jehu and his partner show their zeal for the Lord by killing the rest of Ahab's family0202kg (10-10)
    2 Kings10Jehu assembled the followers of Baal and then slaughtered them all01,0002kg (10-10)
    2 Kings11The priest of Baal and Queen Athaliah222kg (11-11)
    2 Kings17God sent lions to eat those that didn't fear him enough0102kg (17-17)
    2 Kings18God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons222kg (18-19)
    2 Kings19An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers,185,000185,0002kg (19-19)
    2 Kings23Josiah killed all the priests of the high places01002kg (23-23)
    1 Chronicles5Just another Holy War050,0001chr (5-5)
    2 Chronicles13God killed a half-million Israelite soldiers.500,000500,0002chr (13-13)
    2 Chronicles13Jeroboam112chr (13-13)
    2 Chronicles14God killed one million Ethiopians1,000,0001,000,0002chr (14-14)
    2 Chronicles20Friendly Fire: God forced a great multitude to kill each other030,0002chr (20-20)
    2 Chronicles21God killed Jehoram's sons032chr (21-22)
    2 Chronicles21God made Jehoram's bowels fall out112chr (21-21)
    2 Chronicles22Ahaziah (of Judah)112chr (22-22)
    2 Chronicles24Joash, the princes, and the army of Judah010,0002chr (24-24)
    2 Chronicles25God destroys Amaziah11,0002chr (25-25)
    2 Chronicles28God killed 120,000 valiant men for forsaking him120,000120,0002chr (28-28)
    2 Chronicles28God smote Ahaz with the king of Syria110,0002chr (28-28)
    2 Chronicles36The Fall of Jerusalem010,0002chr (36-36)
    Esther2The Purim killings75,81375,813est (2-9)
    Job1God and-or Satan kill Job's children, servants, and animals1060job (1-1)
    Jeremiah28Hananiah11jer (28-28)
    Ezekiel11Pelatiah11ezek (11-11)
    Ezekiel24Ezekiel's wife11ezek (24-24)
    Acts5Ananias and Sapphira22acts (5-5)
    Acts12Herod Aggripa11acts (12-12)
    Romans8Jesus11rom (8-32)
    1 Machabees2Mathathias's double murder221mac (2-2)
    1 Machabees2Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners, circumcise the the uncircumcised, and yield not the horn to the sinner01001mac (2-2)
    1 Machabees3Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias's soldiers3,0003,0001mac (3-4)
    1 Machabees3God helps Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked8004,9001mac (3-3)
    1 Machabees4The Hanukkah killings5,00017,0001mac (4-5)
    1 Machabees4God killed Andronichus (that sacrilegious wretch)111mac (4-4)
    1 Machabees5The Machabees brothers slaughter the heathens11,00037,0001mac (5-5)
    1 Machabees9Jonathan and Simon destroy the wicked out of Israel1,0001,2001mac (9-9)
    1 Machabees11Aliens at Cades3,0003,0001mac (11-11)
    1 Machabees16John burns to death 2000 in the tower of Azotus2,0002,0001mac (16-16)
    2 Machabees4A Jewish mob kills Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow112mac (4-4)
    2 Machabees8Nicanor's Army: The Almighty being their helper, they slew above nine thousand men149,000149,0002mac (8-8)
    2 Machabees9God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease112mac (9-9)
    2 Machabees10Five heavenly horsemen cast darts and fireballs at the enemy21,10321,4002mac (10-10)
    2 Machabees10Idumeans, traitors, and Jews in two towers40,00040,1002mac (10-10)
    2 Machabees15Nicanor's head: A manifest sign of the help of God35,00035,0002mac (15-15)
    Additions to the Book of Daniel13Oh! Susanna22daniel (13-13)
    Judith8Judith is blessed among all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head)11judith (8-13)
    Judith13The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls01,000judith (13-15)
    Wisdom12God sent wasps to slowly kill people01,000wisdom (12-12)
     Totals2,765,34625,370,840 

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