0 SAB 1 Samuel 14

The hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods. 5:6

Trivia: What did the Philistine priests say the people should make to stop God from smiting them with hemorrhoids?

1 Samuel


Jonathan's first slaughter

1 Now it came to pass upon a day, that Jonathan the son of Saul said unto the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over to the Philistines' garrison, that is on the other side. But he told not his father.

2 And Saul tarried in the uttermost part of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree which is in Migron: and the people that were with him were about six hundred men;

One day, Jonathan, the son of Saul, said to his armor bearer,

Let's go over to the Philistine's garrison.

(Jonathan didn't tell his father Saul, who was hanging out with 600 other guys under a pomegranate tree.)

3 And Ahiah, the son of Ahitub, Ichabod's brother, the son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the LORD's priest in Shiloh, wearing an ephod. And the people knew not that Jonathan was gone.

4 And between the passages, by which Jonathan sought to go over unto the Philistines' garrison, there was a sharp rock on the one side, and a sharp rock on the other side: and the name of the one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh.

5 The forefront of the one was situate northward over against Michmash, and the other southward over against Gibeah.

(Ahiah, Icabod's brother, was wearing an ephod.)

And the people didn't know that Jonathan had gone.

6 And Jonathan said to the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over unto the garrison of these uncircumcised: it may be that the LORD will work for us: for there is no restraint to the LORD to save by many or by few.

Jonathan said to his armor bearer,

Let's go find some uncircumcised guys to kill.

Who knows? Maybe God will help us.

7 And his armourbearer said unto him, Do all that is in thine heart: turn thee; behold, I am with thee according to thy heart.

His armor bearer replied,

Do whatever is in your heart.

Whatever is in your heart is in my heart, too.

8Then said Jonathan, Behold, we will pass over unto these men, and we will discover ourselves unto them.

9 If they say thus unto us, Tarry until we come to you; then we will stand still in our place, and will not go up unto them.

10 But if they say thus, Come up unto us; then we will go up: for the LORD hath delivered them into our hand: and this shall be a sign unto us.

So Jonathan told him his plan, saying,

We'll go over to the Philistines, and if they say,

Wait there and we'll come over to you.

Then we'll stay put.

But if the Philistines say,

Come up to us, and we'll show you something.

Then we'll attack, knowing that God will help us kill them.

11 And both of them discovered themselves unto the garrison of the Philistines: and the Philistines said, Behold, the Hebrews come forth out of the holes where they had hid themselves.

So they did that.

And when the Philistines saw them, they said,

Hey look, the Hebrews have crawled out of the holes they were hiding in.

12 And the men of the garrison answered Jonathan and his armourbearer, and said, Come up to us, and we will shew you a thing. And Jonathan said unto his armourbearer, Come up after me: for the LORD hath delivered them into the hand of Israel.

And then the Philistines said the magic words of doom,

Come on up and we'll show you a thing or two.

When Jonathan heard that, he told his armor bearer,

God has delivered them into our hands.

13 And Jonathan climbed up upon his hands and upon his feet, and his armourbearer after him: and they fell before Jonathan; and his armourbearer slew after him.

So Jonathan and his armor bearer crawled out of their hole and began to kill Philistines.

14And that first slaughter, which Jonathan and his armourbearer made, was about twenty men, within as it were an half acre of land, which a yoke of oxen might plow.

They killed about 20 of them, all in an area of half an acre or so.

Not bad for a very first slaughter. [1]

God forces the Philistines to kill each other

15And there was trembling in the host, in the field, and among all the people: the garrison, and the spoilers, they also trembled, and the earth quaked: so it was a very great trembling.

After Jonathan's first slaughter, everyone trembled among the Philistines.

They trembled so much that it caused an earthquake.

So it was a very great trembling.

16 And the watchmen of Saul in Gibeah of Benjamin looked; and, behold, the multitude melted away, and they went on beating down one another.

17 Then said Saul unto the people that were with him, Number now, and see who is gone from us. And when they had numbered, behold, Jonathan and his armourbearer were not there.

18 And Saul said unto Ahiah, Bring hither the ark of God. For the ark of God was at that time with the children of Israel.

19 And it came to pass, while Saul talked unto the priest, that the noise that was in the host of the Philistines went on and increased: and Saul said unto the priest, Withdraw thine hand.

Saul's watchmen saw the Philistine melting away and beating down on one another.

20 And Saul and all the people that were with him assembled themselves, and they came to the battle: and, behold, every man's sword was against his fellow, and there was a very great discomfiture.

21 Moreover the Hebrews that were with the Philistines before that time, which went up with them into the camp from the country round about, even they also turned to be with the Israelites that were with Saul and Jonathan.

22 Likewise all the men of Israel which had hid themselves in mount Ephraim, when they heard that the Philistines fled, even they also followed hard after them in the battle.

All of the Philistines were killing each other with their swords (and there was a very great discomfiture).

23So the LORD saved Israel that day: and the battle passed over unto Bethaven.

So God saved Israel that day by forcing Philistines to kill each other. [2]

The honey curse

24 And the men of Israel were distressed that day: for Saul had adjured the people, saying, Cursed be the man that eateth any food until evening, that I may be avenged on mine enemies. So none of the people tasted any food.

Saul said to the Israelites,

Don't eat anything until I kill all of my enemies.

Anyone who eats anything is cursed.

So nobody ate anything.

25 And all they of the land came to a wood; and there was honey upon the ground.

Then the Israelites came to a forest where there was honey on the ground.

26 And when the people were come into the wood, behold, the honey dropped; but no man put his hand to his mouth: for the people feared the oath.

No one dared to eat any honey, because of Saul's curse.

27But Jonathan heard not when his father charged the people with the oath: wherefore he put forth the end of the rod that was in his hand, and dipped it in an honeycomb, and put his hand to his mouth; and his eyes were enlightened.

But Jonathan hadn't heard about his father's curse. So when he saw the honey, he dipped his rod in the honeycomb, ate some of the honey, "and his eyes were enlightened." (It was very special honey.)

28 Then answered one of the people, and said, Thy father straitly charged the people with an oath, saying, Cursed be the man that eateth any food this day. And the people were faint.

The people said to Jonathan,

Your father said that anyone who eats any food today is cursed.

29 Then said Jonathan, My father hath troubled the land: see, I pray you, how mine eyes have been enlightened, because I tasted a little of this honey.

30 How much more, if haply the people had eaten freely to day of the spoil of their enemies which they found? for had there not been now a much greater slaughter among the Philistines?

Jonathan said,

My eyes were enlightened from eating a little bit of the honey.

If everyone would eat the honey, we'd be able to kill a lot more Philistines.

31 And they smote the Philistines that day from Michmash to Aijalon: and the people were very faint.

Though the people were weak from not eating, they managed to smite the Philistines from Michmash to Aijalon.

32 And the people flew upon the spoil, and took sheep, and oxen, and calves, and slew them on the ground: and the people did eat them with the blood.

Then they ate the animals (with their blood) that they captured as spoil.

33 Then they told Saul, saying, Behold, the people sin against the LORD, in that they eat with the blood. And he said, Ye have transgressed: roll a great stone unto me this day.

34 And Saul said, Disperse yourselves among the people, and say unto them, Bring me hither every man his ox, and every man his sheep, and slay them here, and eat; and sin not against the LORD in eating with the blood. And all the people brought every man his ox with him that night, and slew them there.

Saul said,

You have sinned against God by eating the blood.

Roll a big rock over here.

Bring all the animals, kill them on this rock, and eat.

But don't eat their blood this time.

So they did that.

35 And Saul built an altar unto the LORD: the same was the first altar that he built unto the LORD.

Then Saul built an altar, the first one he ever built for God.

36And Saul said, Let us go down after the Philistines by night, and spoil them until the morning light, and let us not leave a man of them. And they said, Do whatsoever seemeth good unto thee. Then said the priest, Let us draw near hither unto God.

Saul said,

Let's go kill all the Philistines tonight.

The people said,

Sure, do whatever you think is best.

Then the priest said,

Let's get near God.

37 And Saul asked counsel of God, Shall I go down after the Philistines? wilt thou deliver them into the hand of Israel? But he answered him not that day.

Saul asked God,

Shall I kill the Philistines?

Will you deliver them into Israel's hand?

But God didn't answer.

38 And Saul said, Draw ye near hither, all the chief of the people: and know and see wherein this sin hath been this day.

39 For, as the LORD liveth, which saveth Israel, though it be in Jonathan my son, he shall surely die. But there was not a man among all the people that answered him.

Saul said,

Since God didn't answer me, someone must have sinned.

Whoever it was will die, even if it was my son Jonathan.

No one said a thing.

40Then said he unto all Israel, Be ye on one side, and I and Jonathan my son will be on the other side. And the people said unto Saul, Do what seemeth good unto thee.

Then Saul said to everyone in Israel,

Be on one side and Jonathan and I will be on the other side.

The people responded,

Do whatever you think is best.

41Therefore Saul said unto the LORD God of Israel, Give a perfect lot. And Saul and Jonathan were taken: but the people escaped.

Then Saul said to God,

Select (by lot) which group is the guilty one.

God chose Jonathan and Saul.

42And Saul said, Cast lots between me and Jonathan my son. And Jonathan was taken.

Saul said,

Cast lots between me and my son Jonathan.

And Jonathan was taken.

43Then Saul said to Jonathan, Tell me what thou hast done. And Jonathan told him, and said, I did but taste a little honey with the end of the rod that was in mine hand, and, lo, I must die.

Saul said to Jonathan,

Tell me what you've done.

Jonathan said,

All I did was taste a little honey and now I must die.

44And Saul answered, God do so and more also: for thou shalt surely die, Jonathan.

Saul said,

Yes, you will die. And God will do even worse to you.

45And the people said unto Saul, Shall Jonathan die, who hath wrought this great salvation in Israel? God forbid: as the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of his head fall to the ground; for he hath wrought with God this day. So the people rescued Jonathan, that he died not.

All the people then said to Saul,

Don't harm a hair on his head.

So the people rescued Jonathan.

46 Then Saul went up from following the Philistines: and the Philistines went to their own place.

Then Saul and the Philistines went home.

47 So Saul took the kingdom over Israel, and fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, and against the children of Ammon, and against Edom, and against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines: and whithersoever he turned himself, he vexed them.

48 And he gathered an host, and smote the Amalekites, and delivered Israel out of the hands of them that spoiled them.

King Saul fought against everyone: Moab, Ammon, Edom, Zobah, Philistines, Amalekites, you name it.

And wherever he went, he vexed them.

49Now the sons of Saul were Jonathan, and Ishui, and Melchishua: and the names of his two daughters were these; the name of the firstborn Merab, and the name of the younger Michal:

50 And the name of Saul's wife was Ahinoam, the daughter of Ahimaaz: and the name of the captain of his host was Abner, the son of Ner, Saul's uncle.

51 And Kish was the father of Saul; and Ner the father of Abner was the son of Abiel.

52 And there was sore war against the Philistines all the days of Saul: and when Saul saw any strong man, or any valiant man, he took him unto him.

Saul's sons were Jonathan, and Ishui, and Melchishua. [3]


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