0 1 Samuel Topical Outline

On this condition will I make a covenant with you, that I may thrust out all your right eyes. 11:2

Trivia: How many Philistines did Jonathan kill in his very first slaughter?

The First Book of Samuel

1 Samuel's miraculous birth (1-28)

2 Hannah's prayer (1-10)

    Eli's sons were sons of Belial (11-17)

    The boy Samuel ministers to God (18-21)

    Eli's sons have sex with women in the tabernacle (22-26)

    God will kill Eli's sons and make all his descendants die young (27-36)

3 God appears to the boy Samuel (to tell Eli the bad news) (1-21)

4 The Philistines kill 34,000 Israelites (1-21)

    The Philistines steal the ark (and kill Eli's sons) (11-22)

5 The fall of Dagon (1-5)

    God smites the Philistines with hemorrhoids (in their secret parts) (6-12)

6 Five golden hemorrhoids (1-18)

    God kills 50,070 Israelites for looking into the ark (19-21)

7 God helps the Israelites smite the Philistines (1-17)

8 Israel demands a king (1-22)

9 God and Samuel select Saul as king (1-27)

10 Saul is made king (after God found him hiding among the stuff) (1-27)

11 The men of Jabesh make a deal with the Ammonites (1-5)

    Saul chops up some oxen (and sends the pieces to the twelve tribes of Israel) (6-10)

    Saul and 330,000 Israelites slaughter the Ammonites (11-15)

12 Samuel has a conversation with everyone in Israel (1-15)

    Samuel and God make it thunder and rain (16-25)

13 Saul blows a trumpet throughout Israel (1-6)

    Saul sacrifices some animals (and loses his kingdom for it) (7-23)

14 Jonathan's first slaughter (1-14)

    God forces the Philistines to kill each other (15-23)

    The honey curse (24-52)

15 The Amalekite (incomplete) genocide (1-9)

    God rejects Saul as king (for not killing all the Amalekites) (10-31)

    Samuel hacks Agag to death before the Lord (32-35)

16 God chooses David as king (1-13)

    An evil spirit from God plagues Saul (and David makes it go away) (14-23)

17 David kills Goliath (1-58)

18 Jonathan and David (were lovers?) (1-4)

    Saul and David compete (to see who can kill more people) (5-16)

    David buys a wife (with 200 Philistine foreskins) (17-31)

19 Saul tries to kill David (1-17)

    Saul, the naked prophet (18-24)

20 The special relationship between Jonathan and David (1-42)

21 David flees to Nob (and lies to get holy bread and Goliath's sword) (1-9)

    David flees to Gath (where he acts insane) (10-15)

22 David flees to the cave Adullam (1-5)

    Saul kills the priests, people, and animals of Nob (6-23)

23 God tells David to smite the Philistines (1-5)

    God warns David (via ephod) about Saul (6-12)

    Jonathan and David have a secret meeting (13-18)

    Saul chases David around a mountain (19-29)

24 David cuts off Saul's skirt (while he's going to the bathroom) (1-4)

    David and Saul make up (and give long speeches) (6-22)

25 David threatens Nabal (1-13)

    Abigail meets David (14-35)

    God kills Nabal (36-38)

    David takes Abigail for a wife (And Ahinoam) (39-44)

26 David takes Saul's spear and water while he's sleeping (and Saul is very impressed) (1-25)

27 David commits random acts of genocide for the Philistines (1-12)

28 Saul visits a woman from Endor (1-10)

     Samuel rises from the dead to give Saul the bad news (11-25)

29 David wanted to fight with the Philistines against the Israelites (but the Philistines wouldn't let him) (1-11)

30 The Amalekites attack Ziklag (and the people decide to stone David) (1-6)

    David asks God what to do (God tells him to go kill the Amalekites) (7-8)

    David slaughters the Amalekites (and gets back all his stuff) (9-31)

31 Saul and his sons die (as predicted by the ghost of Samuel) (1-13)

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