Latest Posts (In 2012)
Posted: Sunday 16 December 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 11: Wicked King Noah
Zeniff's reign was at an end, and he conferred the kingdom upon his son, Noah. Noah was a wicked king. Unlike his father, he taxed the people, and spent the tax revenue on concubines, his priests, and a newly-constructed palace filled with prec ...
Posted: Saturday 08 December 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 9: The start of the Record of Zeniff
Chapters 9-22 in the Book of Mosiah are a flashback that recount the Record of Zeniff (Zeniff was the first guy to leave Zarahemla to try to find the Nephites.) If you remember, in the last post, King Limhi presented Ammon with two sets of plates ...
Posted: Sunday 02 December 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 8: A Seer is Greater Than a Prophet
After King Limhi is done with his speech, he makes Ammon tell everyone what his people have been up to since the time that Zeniff left the land of Zarahemla. Ammon agrees, and throws in King Benjamin's speech as a bonus.
8:1 And it came to pass t ...
Posted: Monday 26 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 7: A Nephite Family Reunion
Hello everyone! This is Philip, Steve's son. I have been working on editing the SAB book these last 8 months, and now I'll be blogging the Book of Mormon. With my help, we're hoping to get the Book of Mormon out in 2013. Steve will be contin ...
Posted: Friday 23 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
The Machabees brothers (Simon, Judas, and Jonathan) slaughter the heathens
After the Hanukkah killings. the Gentiles gathered together to fight the Israelites, who sent messengers "with their garments rent" to Judas asking for help.
The Gentiles ... assembled themselves together against the Israelites ... to destroy ...
Posted: Tuesday 20 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
All the fat is the Lord's: The Bible's guide to Thanksgiving dinner
There are some things that God cares deeply about -- sex, foreskins, menstruation, and animal sacrifice, for example.
And food.
Most Christians forget about that. They prepare and eat food on Thanksgiving that God abhors, while thanking him for it ...
Posted: Saturday 17 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 2-6: The King's Speech
In the last chapter, King Benjamin waxed old, selected his son Mosiah to succeed him, and gathered all of his subjects to hear his speech so he could rid his garments of their blood.
And it came to pass that after Mosiah had done as his father had ...
Posted: Thursday 15 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mosiah 1: King Benjamin teaches his sons Reformed Egyptian
Remember how, back in the Book of Omni, the Nephites discovered the land of Zarahemla while fleeing from the evil Lamanites? Well, that's where the Book of Mosiah takes place between 130 and 92 BCE (except for a flashback to 200 BCE in chapters 9-22 ...
Posted: Sunday 11 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
The Hanukkah killings
A year after God's slaughter of Georga's army, Lysias attacked Judas with army of 60,000.
The year following Lysias gathered together threescore thousand chosen men, and five thousand horsemen. 1 Machabees 4:28
Judas asked God to deliver the Syri ...
Posted: Friday 09 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Words of Mormon - whispered by the Spirit of the Lord to Mormon Jr.
"Words of Mormon" is a single-chapter, 18-verse "book" in the Book of Mormon. It was engraved on golden plates by a Mormon prophet named Mormon (whose father was also named Mormon) about 385 CE. Mormon Jr. entrusted the golden plates to his son Moro ...
Posted: Thursday 08 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Look what came in the mail today!
We just approved the mockup. Printing begins next week.
...
Posted: Saturday 03 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias' soldiers
In Judas Machabeus' first set of God-assisted killings, He told his men not to worry about large opposing armies. Because success in war depends not on numbers, but on God. "The Lord himself will overthrow them." And that seemed to work well enough ...
Posted: Saturday 03 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias' soldiers
In Judas Machabeus' first set of God-assisted killings, He told his men not to worry about large opposing armies. Because success in war depends not on numbers, but on God. "The Lord himself will overthrow them." And that seemed to work well enough, ...
Posted: Friday 02 November 2012 ( 11 years ago )
The Book of Omni: The Nephites discover the Mulekites and Jaredites (who also sailed from Israel to America)
The Book of Omni gets off to a great start for a book in the Book of Mormon with the words "Behold, it came to pass" but it goes downhill quickly from there. The purpose of Omni's little book is the same as the purpose of his father's book (the Bo ...
Posted: Monday 29 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
God helps Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked
After Matthathias died, his son, Judas Machabeus, replaced him as the leader of the Jewish terrorists His first act was to burn "them that troubled his people" (with fire).
His [Mathathias'] son Judas, called Machabeus, rose up in his stead. 1 ...
Posted: Sunday 28 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Jarom writes a few words about the Lamanites (who love murder and drink the blood of beasts)
The fifteen-verse Book of Jarom was, as you might expect, written by Jarom, who was the son of Enos, who was the son of Jacob, who was the son of Lehi, who was a descendant of Joseph, who was the son of Jacob (aka "Israel" in the Bible). The purpose ...
Posted: Saturday 27 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners, circumcise the the uncircumcised, and yield not the horn to the sinner
The first killing from First Machabees was a terrorist attack, in which Mathathias murdered a Jew who was offering a sacrifice to an idol, along with an officer of the king who happened to be in the area at the time. The author of First Machabees p ...
Posted: Friday 26 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
You've done an awesome job, Enos!
Guess what words the Book of Enos starts with.
I'll give you a hint. It's he same phrase that the previous two books of the Book of Mormon (2 Nephi and Jacob) started with, and it is used (by my count anyway) 1424 times in the Book of Mormon. ...
Posted: Wednesday 24 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
The first 1 Machabees killing: Mathathias' double murder
First Machabees was written in the latter part of the second century BCE. It is considered sacred scripture to more than a billion Christians, members of the Catholic, Orthodox, and Coptic churches. Another billion or so Christians (the Protest ...
Posted: Saturday 20 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Jacob 6-7: The sign of Sherem
In chapter 6, Jacob tells us about Jesus, who will be coming 500 or so years in the future. He warns the Nephites that they must believe in Jesus (centuries before he was born) or they'll burn forever in hell. Of course, he and his older brothe ...
Posted: Wednesday 17 October 2012 ( 11 years ago )
Surah 96 (The Clot): Muhammad's first revelation
"The Clot" (Al-Alaq) was the first surah that Muhammad (I'll just call him "Mo") claimed to receive from Allah. Mo was about 40 years old at the time (ca. 610 CE).
Here's the story from the Hadith (Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith - 6.478), as told by Aish ...
Posted: Sunday 07 October 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Jacob 5: A tale of two olive trees (and a new SAB category)
In the last chapter, Jacob told us (using many more words than was necessary) about the difficulty of engraving words on plates. Now he tells us about two olive trees.
This is the longest and most boring chapter in the most boring book ever writte ...
Posted: Friday 05 October 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Jacob 4: On the difficulty of engraving words upon plates
Jacob begins chapter 4 by using 150 words to tell us that he can't use many words because of the difficulty of engraving words on plates.
Now behold, it came to pass that I, Jacob, having ministered much unto my people in word, (and I cannot write ...
Posted: Friday 28 September 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Jacob 3: Repent or "their skins will be whiter than yours."
Remember how God cursed the Lamanites (Native Americans) by darkening their skin? Well, he'll do it to you too, if you don't repent. That is the lesson of Jacob 3.
Back 2 Nephi 5, in God cursed the Lamanites, causing "a skin of blackness to come ...
Posted: Tuesday 25 September 2012 ( 12 years ago )
What if we could edit the Bible? (Opening Karl Giberson's can of worms)
Is there a Bible-believer who hasn't asked that question?
Yes, I'm sure there are many, perhaps even most. Because most people who believe in the Bible have never read it (all of it, that is, not just carefully selected bits and pieces).
But what ...
Posted: Friday 21 September 2012 ( 12 years ago )
No one was murdered (or blinded) because of this image
In my last post, I displayed the recent Muhammad cartoons that are causing such an uproar in the Muslim world. I hope no one was blinded by looking at them.
Here is a similar (but nsfw) cartoon that was featured in recent Onion article, with the c ...
Posted: Thursday 13 September 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Yahweh's Amazing Test (Abraham, Genesis 22)
...
Posted: Monday 03 September 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Jacob 1-2: Polygamy, riches, and the Lord's delight in chaste women
Nephi was getting old and was about to die, so he had to find someone to take over his plate-writing duties.
He chose his little brother Jacob.
For behold, it came to pass that fifty and five years had passed away from the time that Lehi left Jeru ...
Posted: Tuesday 21 August 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Richard Dawkins: The Playboy Interview
OK, I guess I have to buy another issue of Playboy.
(The last one that I was forced to buy was back in February 2007, when my post on God's killings was mentioned in its "Raw Data" section.)
But the September 2012 issue has something even better ...
Posted: Wednesday 15 August 2012 ( 12 years ago )
The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls
In my last post we saw how God helped Judith cut off the head of Holofernes. It probably looked something like this.
Not a pretty picture, eh?
But God had a good reason for inspiring this act of barbarism: he did it to encourag ...
Posted: Tuesday 14 August 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Judith is blessed above all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head)
If you were to ask Paul Ryan (or any other Catholic) who is the most blessed of all woman in the Bible, he'd say, without the slightest hesitation, Ayn Rand.
OK, just kidding. Ayn Rand isn't in the Bible (not even Paul Ryan's Bible). Every Catholi ...
Posted: Tuesday 07 August 2012 ( 12 years ago )
2 Nephi 31-33: Nephi makes an end of his prophesying and proposes a simple test
Well, we've finally made it to the end of 2 Nephi, where Nephi makes an end of his prophesying.
And now I, Nephi, make an end of my prophesying. 2 Nephi 31:1
And Nephi is quite proud of what he's written; it suffices him, since he has spoken plai ...
Posted: Tuesday 31 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Jeremy Paxman is right: The Bible is religious hogwash that stupid people teach to children
Jeremy Paxman has upset a few (stupid) people for calling the Bible "religious hogwash."
Here are some quotes from his interview with Richard Dawkins on BBC Newsnight.
Paxman (0:49): ...from our earliest years, we have learned to suspend disbelief ...
Posted: Thursday 26 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
The Worst Person in the World (according to the Bible)
In my last post I nominated Jehu for the Worst Person in the Bible award. It wasn't an easy choice, of course, since there are so many bad people in the Bible.
But who is the worst person in the Bible according to the Bible?
There are really only ...
Posted: Tuesday 24 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
The worst person in the Bible
As anyone who has read the Bible knows, there are a lot of bad people in the (not so very) Good Book. Noah, Abraham, Lot, Moses, Joshua, Jephthah, Gideon, Samson, David, Elijah, Elisha, Jesus -- there are many candidates for the worst person in the ...
Posted: Wednesday 11 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Woe is everyone!
My last post showed that God is woe. But he's got plenty of woe company.
Here's a list of woe people in the Bible.
Early rising, all-day drinkers
Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink; that continue u ...
Posted: Tuesday 10 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Woe is God.
Woe to them that devise iniquity, and work evil upon their beds! Micah 2:1
Thus saith the LORD; Behold, against this family do I devise an evil. Micah 2:3
...
Posted: Sunday 08 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
2 Nephi 30: They shall be a white pure and delightsome people
In the last chapter, Nephi explained that God had written a new Bible, a Third Testament, "a marvelous work and a wonder," which we all know today as the Book of Mormon.
Here's how the Book of Mormon (the musical) explains it:
You all know the Bib ...
Posted: Friday 06 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
The Shechem and Dinah love story/massacre
The story begins when Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, goes out to meet her Hivite neighbors.
Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. Genesis 34:1
While she was visiting, a young Hivite man ...
Posted: Thursday 05 July 2012 ( 12 years ago )
Three more ways that Muhammad is better than Jesus
In a previous post, I discussed the important question: who had the most powerful spit, Jesus or Muhammad?
But what about the other characteristics of Jesus and Mo?
Well, here are three more ways that the founders of the two largest religions can ...
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