0 Dwidnling in Unbelief

Latest Posts (In 2009)

Posted: Tuesday 22 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God forced the Philistines to kill each other

After helping Jonathan with his first slaughter (which wasn't really his first, but Oh well), God took over the killing himself. He didn't have much choice if he wanted to get the killing done, because there were only two swords in all Israel at the ...

Posted: Saturday 19 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Jonathan's very first slaughter (not counting the one before)

Well, it was a bit disappointing to me, but I guess it was OK for a very first slaughter. Here's how it happened. One day Jonathan and his armor bearer decided to go find some uncircumcised guys to kill. Who knows? Maybe God would hel ...

Posted: Thursday 17 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Another Ammonite Massacre (and another God-inspired body-part message)

Remember the Holy Civil War a few killings back? Well this is a lot like it. It starts with the people from Jabeshgilead making a proposition to the Ammonites. Then Nahash the Ammonite came up, and encamped against Jabeshgilead: and all the m ...

Posted: Wednesday 16 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Lord thundered great thunder upon the Philistines

After God killed more than 50,000 for looking into the ark, the ark was moved to Kirjathjearim and the people of Israel "lamented after the Lord" -- which means, I guess, that they wanted the damned thing back. And it came to pass, while the ark ab ...

Posted: Tuesday 15 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God kills Eli's sons

There was an old priest name Eli, who had two sons, Hophni and Phinehas. Like Eli, his sons were priests, but they were bad priests who didn't know God, stole meat from burnt offerings, and had sex with women at the door of the tabernacle. The s ...

Posted: Saturday 12 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

50,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord

In his last killing, God was busy fashioning hemorrhoids and placing them in the Philistines' secret parts. Stuff like that gets annoying after a while. So the Philistines asked their priests how they can get God to stop. The priests told them to mak ...

Posted: Saturday 12 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts

You may have noticed at the end of the last killing, that the Philistines stole the ark of the covenant from the Israelites. And that’s when their troubles really began. The Philistines brought the ark to Ashdod and set it up next to their god, ...

Posted: Thursday 10 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The End of Judges: Two genocides and 200 stolen virgins

My last post was about the God-inspired civil war between the tribe of Benjamin and the other Israelites, which was God's way of dealing with that messy affair involving the Levite and his concubine. Now it's time for the rest of the story. ...

Posted: Wednesday 09 December 2009 ( 14 years ago )

A Holy Civil War (It had something to do with rotting, concubine body-part messages)

Remember the story about the Levite and his concubine? You know the one where the Levite and his concubine are staying at a guy's house when a mob comes and asks to have sex with the Levite, and the host says no you can't have sex with him but I'll g ...

Posted: Sunday 29 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Judges 19: Gang rape, dismemberment, and body part messages

I was going to skip over this story, since it is so damned disgusting and God seemed to have nothing much to do with it (other than inspiring it, that is). And yet, it's in the Bible, so it must be important to him. Maybe a believer that can explain ...

Posted: Thursday 19 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Massacre of the Peaceful, Unsuspecting People

OK, enough messing around. I've got to get back to God's killings in Judges. What do you think about this one? Should it be included on God's list? The story begins with the tribe of Dan (one of the 12 tribes of Israel) looking for a nice pla ...

Posted: Wednesday 11 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Samson kills 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack

After Samson finished killing 1000 men with a jawbone of an ass, he had sex with a prostitute. Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her. Judges 16:1At midnight he left the prostitute and ripped out the doors and gate ...

Posted: Monday 09 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass

In my last post, I described how Samson's brief (week-long) marriage to a Philistine woman was prearranged by God so that Samson would murder 30 Philistines for their clothes. That was the first chapter of Samson's life (Judges 14). Here's the next. ...

Posted: Thursday 05 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Spirit of the Lord comes upon Samson and he murders 30 men for their clothes

Just when you think the stories in Judges couldn't get any stupider, the next one comes along to prove you wrong. Take the story of Samson, for example. It starts out in the usual way, with the children of Israel doing evil in the sight of th ...

Posted: Monday 02 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Jephthah's Daughter

In the last killing, the spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah and he promised that he would offer to God a burned sacrifice of whatever comes out to greet him if God would help him massacre the Ammonites. God came through with his end of the deal by ...

Posted: Monday 02 November 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Ammonite massacre

This is the fifth time the same stupid story is repeated in Judges (See Judges 2:14, 3:8, 4:2, and 6:1 for the others), so you know by now what's going to happen. The Israelites do evil in the sight of the Lord. God gets angry and sell ...

Posted: Thursday 29 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit

After Gideon died, it was time for his sons to take over. And he had lots of them. Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives. And his concubine that was in Shechem, she also bare him a son, whose name he called ...

Posted: Tuesday 27 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Collision: Are Douglas Wilson's beliefs good for the world?

A couple years ago I mentioned the online debate between Douglas Wilson and Christopher Hitchens. Since then, they've been traveling around debating each other all across the country. And now now they're making a movie about it. The movie is named Co ...

Posted: Sunday 25 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Gideon's story: The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow

Here's a story about Gideon. You know, they guy they named the Bible after. It starts out in the usual way: The Israelites "do evil in the sight of the Lord," so God sells them into slavery. Then "the children of Israel cried unto the LORD" ...

Posted: Friday 23 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull

In God's last killing, God “discomfited” the Canaanite army, causing them all to be killed. (It's not clear how God did this, but he probably forced them to kill each other. He likes doing stuff like that.) But Sisera, the captain of the Canaa ...

Posted: Thursday 22 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Barak and God massacre the Canaanites

This is just another variation of the same stupid story. So if you've been following along, you can predict what's going to happen. 1. The Israelites did evil in the sight of the Lord. The children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the L ...

Posted: Monday 19 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad.

The entire story takes place in just one verse. Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad. "And he also delivered Israel." Shamgar … slew of the Philistines six hundred men with an ox goad: and he also delivered Israel. Judges 3.31 The i ...

Posted: Sunday 18 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites

After Ehud delivered God's message to Ehud (a knife blade in the belly), he blew a trumpet to summon all the Israelites. Ehud … blew a trumpet … and the children of Israel went down with him. Judges 3.26-27 Then he told the people: Follow ...

Posted: Saturday 17 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Ehud delivers a message from God

Remember how in his last killing, God was so angry at the Israelites for worshiping other gods that he sold them as slaves to King Cushy? Yeah, well, pretty much the same thing happens here, except the names, places, and times change. The children ...

Posted: Friday 16 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The LORD delivered Chushanrishathaim

God was angry at the Israelites for ignoring him in favor of Baal and Asheroth ("the groves" in the KJV). The children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and forgat the LORD their God, and served Baalim and the groves. Judges 3.7 So he d ...

Posted: Wednesday 14 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Five massacres, a wedding, and some God-proof iron chariots

This is hodgepodge of killings from the rest of Judges 1. After the Jerusalem Massacre, the "children of Judah" go on a God-assisted smiting spree, wiping out a bunch of kingdoms "with the edge of the sword." You can read all about it in Judges 1 ...

Posted: Monday 12 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites

After Joshua died, the Israelites wondered who was going to do their killing for them. So they asked God. Can't you just picture it? Several million Israelites asking God together in unison: Who shall go up for us against the Canaanites first, t ...

Posted: Friday 09 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God's Killings in Joshua

Here's a summary of God's killings in Joshua. Killing Event Verse Estimated number killed Cumulative total 1 The Jericho Massacre Joshua 6:21 1000 1000 2 A family are stoned and burned to death Joshua 7:10-12, 24-26 5 1005 3 The Ai Massac ...

Posted: Wednesday 07 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Anakim: Some more giant killing

We've finally made it to the last of God's killings in Joshua. And although this one is pretty unspectacular, it does involve some giant killing. If you remember back in Deuteronomy, God killed everyone in the "land of the giants." Here he helps Jo ...

Posted: Friday 02 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Bad-News Bears: A guest post from Brucker

I think a lot of people are surprised to hear that I like Steve Wells. I have a personal theory about the way people interact with each other, and it's very telling when you see the way people interact in particular on the Internet. You see, if someb ...

Posted: Friday 02 October 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God commanded.

The title pretty much says it all on this one. It's kind of boring reading though. Joshua took Makkedah, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof he utterly destroyed, them, and all the souls that were therein; he let none rem ...

Posted: Monday 28 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Five kings killed and hung on trees

In his last killing, God got right in there and "fought for Israel." He "discomfited them ... and slew them with a great slaughter ... and chased them along the way." He "cast down great stones from heaven" and made the sun (and moon) stand still st ...

Posted: Tuesday 22 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God makes the sun stand still so that Joshua can get his killing done before dark

Joshua and the Israelites have been slaughtering or enslaving the people from every city that they came across. They killed everyone in Jericho and Ai and enslaved the people of Gibeon (Joshua 9.21-27). So the neighboring cities were getting kind of ...

Posted: Friday 18 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Gay people can (and should) quote the Bible too

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her ... and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity ...

Posted: Wednesday 16 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Ai Massacre

After stoning and burning to death Achan and his family, Joshua was back in business. God told Joshua to do unto Ai as they did unto Jericho, except that this time the Israelites could keep some of the loot for themselves (instead of giving it all t ...

Posted: Saturday 12 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

Achan and his family are stoned and burned to death

This is one of those bible stories that most believers don't really believe in, if they know it exists, that is. It's simply not possible to believe this story and also believe that the God of the Bible is anything other than evil. The story begin ...

Posted: Tuesday 08 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

The Jericho Massacre

Jericho is one of God's more famous killings. And believers seem to like it a lot. They sing songs about it, and tell their children about it. Here's how it goes. God tells Joshua that he has given the city of Jericho into his hands and that he and ...

Posted: Friday 04 September 2009 ( 14 years ago )

God's Killings in Deuteronomy

Here's a summary of God's killings in Deuteronomy. Killing Event Verse Estimated number killed Cumulative total 1 God slowly kills the Israelite army Deuteronomy 2:14-17 500,000 500,000 2 God kills the Zamzummim in the land of the giants 2:2 ...

Posted: Wednesday 26 August 2009 ( 15 years ago )

Has God forced you to eat any of your children lately?

Me neither, and I don't know why. God was very clear about it in Deuteronomy 28. If you don't follow all of his laws, he will force you to eat your children. Here are just some of the things God promises to do to you if you don't follow his l ...

Posted: Wednesday 19 August 2009 ( 15 years ago )

All the men, women, and children in 60 cities

I suppose I could call this God's 30th to 89th killings, since there must have been 60 separate killing events. If God did the killing himself, he could have done it all at once. But he was relying on people to do his killing for him, so it must hav ...

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