| 1 |
THE FIRST CREATION ACCOUNT |
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Day zero |
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The first day |
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The second day |
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The third day |
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The fourth day |
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The fifth day |
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The sixth day |
| 2 |
The seventh day |
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THE SECOND CREATION ACCOUNT |
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The earth before there were humans |
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The first man |
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The two trees |
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God creates help meets for Adam (the animals) |
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The first woman |
| 3 |
Two trees, a talking serpent, and a fearful god |
| 4 |
Cain kills his brother Abel |
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The life of Cain |
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Lamech, a bigamist and a murderer |
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Adam and Eve have another boy: Seth |
| 5 |
Adam's family |
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From Seth to Noah |
| 6 |
The Sons of God |
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God Plans the Flood |
| 7 |
Noah's Ark |
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The Great Flood |
| 8 |
The Flood Subsides |
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Noah's Sacrfice |
| 9 |
God's Post Flood Instructions |
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The Rainbow |
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Noah, the Drunk and Naked |
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The Curse of Canaan |
| 10 |
The Descendants of Japheth |
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The Descendants of Ham |
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The Descendants of Shem |
| 11 |
The Tower of Babel |
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From Shem to Abraham |
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Abraham, Sarah, and Lot travel to Haran |
| 12 |
Abraham travels to Canaan |
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Sarah lies for Abraham (the first time) |
| 13 |
Abraham, Sarah, and Lot return to Canaan |
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Abraham and Lot split up |
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Lot chooses Sodom for his new home |
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od promises to give Abraham everything else |
| 14 |
The Battle of Sodom and Gomorrah |
| 15 |
God's promise to Abraham |
| 16 |
Abraham impregnates Sarah's slave, Hagar |
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Sarah forces Hagar to leave |
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God sends an angel to retrieve Hagar |
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Hagar gives birth to a son, Ishmael |
| 17 |
God's everlasting covenant: Circumcision! |
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God promises to get Sarah pregnant |
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Abraham laughs at God |
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Abraham, Ishmael, and male slaves are circumcised |
| 18 |
Abraham feeds God and three men |
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Sarah laughs at God |
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God wonders if he should tell Abraham about Sodom |
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Abraham tries to talk God out of it |
| 19 |
Two angels come to Sodom |
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The men of Sodom ask to get to know them |
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Lot offers his two virgin daughters |
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Lot and his family leave Sodom, and God destroys it |
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Lot's wife looks back, and God turns her into salt |
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Lot gets drunk and impregnates his daughters |
| 20 |
Abraham repeats the "She's my sister" lie |
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God threatens to kill Abimelech and his people |
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Abraham says it was only a half lie |
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God opens all the wombs in Abimelech's kingdom |
| 21 |
God visits Sarah and she concieves |
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Sarah tells Abraham to abandon his first son, Ishmael |
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God tells Abraham to do as Sarah says |
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Abraham does as he's told |
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Abraham swears to God |
| 22 |
God tells Abraham to kill his son, Isaac |
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Abraham prepares to kill his son for God |
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An angel to the rescue! |
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God blesses Abraham for his willingness to kill his son |
| 23 |
Sarah dies |
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Abraham buries Sarah in a cave |
| 24 |
Abraham makes his servant swear to God |
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The servant finds a wife for Isaac - Rebekah |
| 25 |
Abraham takes another wife - Keturah |
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Abraham dies, giving all his possessions to Isaac |
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The generations of Ishmael |
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The birth of Isaac's sons, Esau and Jacob |
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Esau sells his inheritance for a bowl of lentil soup |
| 26 |
God tells Isaac to visit the land of the Philistines |
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Isaac uses his dad's famous "She's my sister" lie |
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God blessed Isaac in the land of the Philistines |
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Isaac digs some wells |
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Isaac went to Beersheba |
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Esau married Judith and Bashemath |
| 27 |
Jacob and Rebekah deceive Isaac |
| 28 |
Isaac's instruction to his son Jacob: Don't marry a Canaanite |
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Esau collects a third wife |
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Jacob dreams on a pillow of stones |
| 29 |
Jacob and Rachel: The Great Baby-Making Contest |
| 30 |
The Great Baby-Making Contest continues |
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Jacob asks Laban to let him leave |
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Jacob's speckled and spotted cattle caper |
| 31 |
Jacob runs away from Laban |
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Laban catches up to Jacob |
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This heap is a witness |
| 32 |
Jacob meets God's host |
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Jacob prepares to meet Esau |
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Jacob has a wrestling match with God - and wins! |
| 33 |
Jacob meets Esau |
| 34 |
Shechem and Dinah |
| 35 |
Jacob travels to Bethel |
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Rachel dies |
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Reuben has sex with his father's concubine |
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Isaac dies |
| 36 |
The generations of Esau |
| 37 |
Jacob loved Joseph more than his other children |
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Joseph's first dream |
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Joseph's second dream |
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Joseph's brothers get rid of Joseph |
| 38 |
Judah and Shuah |
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Er, Tamar, and Onan |
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Judah and Tamar |
| 39 |
Potiphar buys Joseph |
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Potiphar's wife |
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Joseph is imprisoned |
| 40 |
The king's butler and baker |
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The butler's dream |
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The baker's dream |
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Joseph's interpretatons come true |
| 41 |
Pharaoh's dreams |
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Joseph interprets the Pharaoh's dreams |
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Joseph's intrepretations come true |
| 42 |
Jacob's sons travel to Egypt |
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Jacob's sons return to Canaan |
| 43 |
Jacob's sons return to Egypt |
| 44 |
Jacob's sons leave Egypt |
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Joseph's diving cup |
| 45 |
Joseph identifies himself to his brothers |
| 46 |
Jacob and his family travel to the land of Goshen |
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The names of Jacob's family |
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Joseph meets Jacob and his family |
| 47 |
Pharaoh invites Jacob and his family to live in Goshen |
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Joseph collects all the money in Egypt |
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Joseph swears to bury Jacob in Canaan |
| 48 |
Jacob's (messed up) blessing of Ephraim and Manasseh |
| 49 |
Jacob's deathbed speech |
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Jacob dies |
| 50 |
Jacob's burial |
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Joseph's brothers apologize to Joseph |
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Joseph dies |
Absurdities
Contradictions
Science and History
Family Values 
Women 
Injustice 
Interpretation 
Sex 
Cruelty and Violence 
Boring Stuff 
Commandments 
Prophecy 
Intolerance 
Homosexuality 
Politics 
Good Stuff 
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