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Skeptics Annotated Bible highlights list
God's two magic trees: The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 2:9
"In the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." 2:17
God says that if Adam eats from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then the day that he does so, he will die. But
Adam eats the forbidden fruit (3:6 ) and yet lives for another 930 years (5:5 ).
God's clever, talking serpent. 3:1
God's curse of all women. 3:16
"Behold, the man is become as one of us." 3:22
God expels Adam and Eve from the garden before they get a chance to eat from that other tree -- the tree of life.
God knows that if they do that, they will live forever. A spooky thought indeed for an insecure god.
The mark of Cain. 4:15
"And Cain knew his wife."
That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? 4:17
The "sons of God" copulated with the "daughters of men," and had sons who became "the
mighty men of old, men of renown." 6:2-4
"There were giants in the earth in those days." 6:4
Noah, the just and righteous. 6:9 , 7:1
God drowns everyone on earth (except Noah and his family). 7:4
Noah, the drunk and naked. 9:20-21
The curse of Canaan. 9:22-25
The Tower of Babel. 11:1-9
Abraham's first "she's my sister" lie. 12:13
Abraham's war to rescue Lot. 14:14-17
Lot [the just and righteous (2 Peter 2:7-8 )]
offers his daughters to a crowd of angel rapers. 19:8
"The LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire." 19:24
God turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. 19:26
A drunken Lot impregnates his daughters. 19:30-36
Abraham's second "she's my sister" lie. 20:2
God closed all the wombs in Abimelech's household to punish him for believing Abraham's lie. 20:18
Abraham abandons his first son, Ishmael. 21:10-14
God tells Abraham to kill his second son (Isaac) for a burnt offering. 22:2
Put your hand under my thigh (testicles) and swear. 24:2 , 47:29
Isaac uses his dad's "she's my sister" lie. 26:7
Jacob goes in unto Leah by mistake. 29.25
The great baby making contest. 30:1-23
Rachel buys sex with mandrakes. 30:15-16
Jacob wrestles with God and wins! 32:24-28
Jacob sees God face to face and lives. 32:30
The Shechem and Dinah lovestory massacre. 34:1-25
Reuben has sex with his father's concubine. 35:22
God kills Er for being wicked. 38:7
Onan spills his seed; God kills Onan. 38:9-10
Judah impregnates his daughter in law. 38:16-18
The two contradictory creation stories. 1:1-2:3 , 2:4-25
God brought a seven year, "very grievous" famine on the whole earth for no apparent reason (except maybe to make Joseph wealthy).
41:56
Exodus
God teaches Moses some magic tricks. 4:2-9 , 7:8-11 ,
7:17-20
He hardens the Pharaoh's heart. 4:21 , 7:3 ,
7:13 , 9:12 , 10:1 ,
10:20 , 10:27 , 11:10 ,
14:4 , 14:8
He tries to kill Moses. 4:24-25
God's first plague on the Egyptians: Rivers turned to blood. 7:17-22
(Pharaoh's magicians knew this trick, too.)
Second Plague: Frogs. (Pharaoh's magicians do likewise.) 8:2-7
Third Plague: Lice. (Pharaoh's magicians couldn't do this one!) 8:16-18
Fourth Plague: Flies. 8:21-24
Fifth Plague: God kills the cattle. 9:3
Sixth Plague: Boils. 9:9
Seventh Plague: Hail. 9:19
Eighth Plague: Locusts. 10:5
Ninth Plague: Darkness. 10:21
Tenth Plague: God kills firstborn children and animals. 12:29-30
God drowns the Egyptian army. 14:27-28
"The Lord is a man of war." 15:3
"Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword." 17:13
God punishes the children for the sins of their fathers. 20:5 ,
34:7
(unto the third and fourth generations)
Instructions for buying a slave. 21:2
Instructions for selling your daughter. 21:7
Instructions for taking a second wife. 21:10
Children who curse or strike their parents are to be killed. 21:15, 17
It's OK to beat a slave as long as he lives a day or two "for he is his money."
21:20-21
Abortion is not a capital crime. 21:22
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." 22:18
You must kill those who worship another god. 22:20
Sabbath breakers must be killed. 31:14-15 , 35:2
God tells every man to slay "his brother, companion, neighbor." 32:27
"And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made." 32:35
God shows Moses his "back parts." 33:23
God's name is "Jealous." 34:14
Leviticus
"All the fat is the Lord's." 3:16
Moses puts blood on Aaron's right ear, thumb, and big toe. 8:23-24
God kills Aaron's sons for offering "strange fire before the Lord." 10:1-2
Hares are unclean since they chew the cud. 11:6
Bats are just unclean birds. 11:13,19
Four-legged birds are an abomination to God. 11:20
Insects have four legs. 11:21, 23
Baby girls are twice as dirty as baby boys. 12:1-8
God's cure for leprosy. 14:2-32
What to do if "he that hath the issue spit upon him that is
clean." 15:8
What to do "if any man's seed of copulation go out from him." 15:16-18
Menstruating women are unclean to God. 15:19-30
God's law for wet dreams. 15:16-17 , 32
Don't look at any naked menstruating women. 18:19
Homosexuality is an abomination to God. 18:22
Don't mix seeds when sowing a field or wear a garment with mixed fibers. 19:19
If you have sex with a slave woman, you must then scourge her. 19:20
Don't round the corners of your head or mar the corners of your beard. 19:27
Children who curse their parents, adulterers, and homosexuals must be killed. 20:9-12
Woman with "familiar spirits" must be stoned to death. 20:27
The unchaste daughters of priests must be burnt to death. 21:9
Handicapped people must not approach the altar. 21:16-23
A man curses and blasphemes while disputing with another man. Moses asks God what to do about it. God says that the whole community
must stone him to death. "And the children of Israel did as the Lord and Moses commanded." 24:10-23
God's instructions for buying slaves. 25:45-46
"Ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it." 26:16
God will "send wild beasts among you, which shall rob your of your children." 26:22
"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat."
26:29
God places a dollar value on human life; women are worth less (50 - 60%) than men. 27:3-7
Numbers
God kills Aaron's sons for offering "strange fire before the Lord." 3:4 ,
26:61
The law of jealousies: What to do if you suspect that your wife has been unfaithful. 5:11-31
God burned people to death for complaining. 11:1
God made the Israelites eat flesh until it came out their nostrils. 11:19-20
"While the flesh was yet between their teeth ... the Lord smote the people with a very great
plague." 11:33
God gave Miriaml leprosy. 12:9-10
God will punish you for the sins of your great-great grandfathers. 14:18
God killed the ten spies that gave a discouraging report with a plague. 14:36-37
What to do if you "sin through ignorance." 15:27
A man is stoned to death for gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. 15:32-36
God buries alive Korah and his family. 16:27-35 , 26:10
God burns to death 250 men. 16:35 , 26:10
God kills 14,700 with a plague. 16:41-50
"The Lord harkened to the voice of Israel, and ... utterly destroyed them and their cities." 21:3
God sends "fiery serpents" to bite the people. 21:6
Moses's amazing serpent of brass. 21:9
God delivers the Amorites into Moses's hands. 21:34-35
Balaam's talking ass. 22:28-30
God's people will "rise up ... and drink the blood of the slain." 23:24
God will "eat up the nations of his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with
his arrows." 24:8
God tells Moses to "take all the heads of the people and hang them up before the Lord."
25:4
God's hero (Phinehas) thrusts a javelin through a man and his Midianite wife's belly.
25:7-8
God kills 24,000 (23,000 according to 1 Cor.10:8 ) in a plague.
25:9
A woman can't make a vow unless her husband allows it. 30:3-16
The Lord destroyed them before them" -- the general treatment of the people who were supposedly displaced by the Israelites.
2:21-22
How to divorce your wife if you find "some uncleanness in her." 24:1-4
How to shit in the woods so that God doesn't step in it. 23:12-14
God's rule for wet dreams. 23:10
A bastard can't attend church "even to his tenth generation." 23:2
You can't go to church if your testicles are damaged or your penis has been cut off. 23:1
Cut off a woman's hand if she touches the "secrets" of a man who is fighting with her husband. "And
thine eye shall not pity her." 25:11-12
A rapist must buy his victim from her father for 50 shekels. 22:28-29
Women, be sure to keep the tokens of your virginity. Otherwise the men of your city may stone you to death.
22:13-21
How to dispose of a hated wife. 22:13-22
Don't "wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woolen and linen together." 22:11
Kill rebellious or disobedient sons 21:18-21 , adulterers 22:22 ,
and rape victims if they fail to cry out loud enough. 22:23-24
Rules for a man with two wives: "one beloved, and another hated." 21:15
If you see a pretty woman among the captives then just take her home and "go in unto her."
21:11-14
Kill everyone with religious beliefs that are different than your own. (Including your family, friends, and
neighbors) 13:6-16 , 17:2-7
Kill any prophets or "dreamers of dreams" if they say or dream the wrong things.
13:1-5 , 18:20
Destroy the altars, images, and places of worship of those with different religions. 7:5
The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of 60 cities. 3:3-4
At God's instructions, the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men, women, and the little ones" leaving "none to remain."
2:33-35
Moses tells his men to kill all the males and non-virgin women, but to keep all the virgins alive for
themselves. 31:14-18
Deuteronomy
God killed all the Israelite soldiers -- slowly. It took him 38 years to kill them all, but he finally got the job done.
2:14-16
Women that wear men's clothing are an "abomination unto the Lord." 22:5
If you don't obey all of these laws, God will (among many other things) smite you with hemorrhoids, madness,
and blindness, burn or starve you to death, have some animals eat you, and snakes bite you. If you still refuse to
obey, he will have your wife raped and force you eat your own children. 28:15-68 ,
32:23-25
Joshua
"And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass,
with the edge of the sword." 6:21
A family is stoned and burned to death (along with their animals) to punish the father (Achan) for looking at "the
accursed thing." "So the LORD turned from the fierceness of his anger." 7:24-26
Joshua kills all the inhabitants of Ai, burns their city, and hangs their king on a tree. 8:22-31
The Ai massacre 8:30-31
God curses the Gibeonites to be slaves of the Jews forever. 9:21-27
God gets right in and fights with the Israelites. He "slew them with a great slaughter" and even "chased
them along the way." What a guy. 10:10
God threw down "great stones from heaven" so that he could kill even more people than the Israelites "slew
with the sword." 10:11
God makes the sun and moon stand still so that Joshua could get all his killing done before dark. It was the first
Daylight Savings Time. 10:12-13
"The Lord fought for Israel." 10:14
Five kings killed and hung on trees 10:24-26
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find -- or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly destroyed all
that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-42
God and Joshua pretty much kill whoever they haven't yet killed. 11:6-12
Some more giant killing 11:20-21
"For it was of the LORD to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy
them utterly." 11:20
A holy civil war (It had something to do with rotting body part messages) 20:35
A God-approved genocide to provide wives for 400 of the 600 surviving Benjamites of Godss holy civil war.
21.11-14
Gang rape and dismemberment of the Levite's concubine 19:22-30
The massacre of the peaceful, unsuspecting people 18:26-27
Samson kills 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack. 16:27-30
Samson goes in unto a harlot. 16:1
Samson kills 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass. 15:14-16
Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, and sets them on fire. 15:4-5
The spirit of the Lord comes upon Samson and he murders 30 men for their clothes. 14:19
The spirit of God comes mightily upon Samson (and he kills things). 14:6, 14-16, 19
42,000 die for failing the "Shibboleth" test. 12.6
Jephthah sacrifices his daughter to God. 11:39
The Ammonite massacre 11:33
A city is massacred and 1000 people burn to death because of God's evil spirit. 9:49
God sends an evil spirit. 9:23
Abimelech kills 69 brothers "upon one stone." 9:5
Two princes killed and their heads delivered to Gideon 7:25
Gideon tears the flesh of the elders of Succoth and kills the men of the city. 8:7, 16-17
Remember that God "is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins."
24:19
Judges
Cutting off the thumbs and big toes of a captured king. 1:6-7
The Israelites killed everyone in Jerusalem and set the city on fire. 1:8
Five massacres, a wedding, and some God-proof iron chariots 1:9-19
God couldn't drive out the valley people because they had chariots of iron. 1:19
God sells the Israelites into slavery. (Five or six times) 2:14 , 3:8 ,
4:2 , 6:1 , 10:7 , 13:1
The spirit of the Lord comes upon Othniel and causes him to go to war. 3:10
"And they slew of Moab ... about 10,000 men ... and their escaped not a man." 3:28-29
Shamgar kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad. 3:31
"The Lord discomfited Sisera ... with the edge of the sword ... and there was not a man left." 4:15-16
Jael drives a tent stake through her guest's head. For this she is "blessed above women."
4:17-23 , 5:24-26
God takes Gideon's fleece/dew test. 6:36-40
God finds a few good men with a dog-lapping test. 7:4-7
"The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow." 7:21
Ehud's message from God. 3:20-22
She is "purchased" by Boaz for a wife. 4:10
She lies at "his feet" until morning. 3:14
Ruth lies down next to Boaz after "uncovering his feet." 3:7
200 virgins of Shiloh are stolen to provide wives for remaining Benjamite holy civil war survivors.
21.19-23
Ruth
She tells Boaz to spread his skirt over her. 3:9
God said to David, Go and smite the Philistines. 23:2-5
God repents of having made Saul king since Saul refused to carry out God's commandments (i.e., Saul refused to commit complete genocide). 15:11 , 18
David buys a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins (twice the asking price).
18:25-27
Saul is haunted by "an evil spirit from the Lord." 16:14-16 ,
23 , 18:10 , 19:9
