Deuteronomy Trivia Question:
The Israelites are God's favorite people
1
Ye are the children of
the LORD your God: ye shall not cut yourselves, nor make any baldness
between your eyes for the dead.
Moses continues his instructions to the Israelites, saying,
You are the children of God. [1]
Don't cut yourselves or make any baldness between your eyes for dead people.
2
For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath
chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that
are upon the earth.
You are a holy, peculiar people to God.
He likes you better than everyone else on earth.
What you may and may not eat
3
Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing.
Don't eat any abominable thing.
4
These are the beasts which ye shall eat: the ox, the sheep, and the goat,
5
The hart, and the roebuck, and the fallow deer, and the wild goat, and the
pygarg, and the wild ox, and the chamois.
Eat these animals: ox, sheep, goats, harts, roebucks, deer, pygarg, and chamois.
6
And every beast that parteth the hoof, and cleaveth the cleft into two
claws, and cheweth the cud among the beasts, that ye shall eat.
Eat any beast that parts the hoof and chews the cud.
7
Nevertheless these ye
shall not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide
the cloven hoof; as the
camel, and the hare, and the coney: for they chew the cud,
but divide not the hoof; therefore they are unclean unto you.
But don't eat camels [2],
Or hares and comeys (because they chew the cud [3] but don't divide the hoof, so they're unclean
to you).
8
And the swine, because
it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you:
ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase.
Or pigs, because they don't chew the cud. They are unclean.
Don't eat them or touch their dead bodies.
9
These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and
scales shall ye eat:
10
And whatsoever hath not
fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
Don't eat any seafood unless it has fins and scales.
Shrimp, oysters, clams, crabs, and lobsters are "unclean" and shouldn't be eaten. [4]
11
Of all clean birds ye shall eat.
12
But these are they of which ye shall not eat: the eagle, and the
ossifrage, and the ospray,
13
And the glede, and the kite, and the vulture after his kind,
14
And every raven after his kind,
15
And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his
kind,
16
The little owl, and the great owl, and the swan,
17
And the pelican, and the gier eagle, and the cormorant,
18
And the stork, and the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the
bat.
But these are the birds that you may not eat:
The eagle, ossifrage, ospray, glede, kite, vulture, raven, owl, hawk, cuckow, swan, pelican, eagle,
cormorant, stork, heron, lapwing,
And the bat. [5]
19
And every creeping
thing that flieth is unclean unto you: they shall not be eaten.
Every flying creeping thing is unclean. Don't eat them. [6]
20
But of all clean fowls ye may eat.
21
Ye shall not eat of anything
that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto
the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell
it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God.
Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.
Don't eat dead animals that you find lying around.
(But it's OK to feed them to strangers, or sell them to foreigners.)
And don't boil a kid (baby goat) in its mother's milk.
22
Thou shalt truly tithe all the increase of thy seed, that the field
bringeth forth year by year.
23
And thou shalt eat before the LORD thy God, in the place which he shall
choose to place his name there, the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine, and of
thine oil, and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks; that thou
mayest learn to fear the LORD thy God always.
24
And if the way be too long for thee, so that thou art not able to carry
it; or if the place be too far from thee, which the LORD thy God shall
choose to set his name there, when the LORD thy God hath blessed thee:
25
Then shalt thou turn it into money, and bind up the money in thine hand,
and shalt go unto the place which the LORD thy God shall choose:
Eat and drink wine [7] in front of God, in the place that he chooses,
so that you will learn to fear him. [8]
26
And thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after,
for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever
thy soul desireth: and thou shalt eat there before the LORD thy God, and
thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household,
27
And the Levite that is within thy gates; thou shalt not forsake him; for
he hath no part nor inheritance with thee.
28
At the end of three years thou shalt bring forth all the tithe of thine
increase the same year, and shalt lay it up within thy gates:
29
And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor inheritance with thee,) and
the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which are within thy gates,
shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied; that the LORD thy God may bless
thee in all the work of thine hand which thou doest.
Spend your money on whatever you'd like, including wine or strong drink.
Notes
- Ye are the children of the LORD your God. (v.1)
Are we all God's children?
- Ye shall not eat them ... they are unclean to you. (v.7)
What should we eat?
- The hare, and the coney: for they chew the cud (v.7)
The Bible says that hares and coneys are unclean because they "chew the cud" but do not part the hoof.
But hares and coneys are not ruminants and they do not "chew the cud."
- Whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat. (v.10)
God Hates Shrimp
What the Bible says about Shrimp
- Of all clean birds you may eat. But these are they of which ye shall not eat: the eagle ...
and the bat. (vv.11-18)
To the biblical god, bats are just unclean birds.
- Every creeping thing that flieth is unclean unto you. (v.19)
But Leviticus 11:21 says that
some flying creeping things (the ones with four legs!) are OK.
Which flying creeping things may we eat?
- Thou shalt eat before the LORD thy God ... the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine. (v. 23)
Thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after ... for wine, or for strong drink.
(v. 26)
Is it OK to drink alcohol?
What the Bible says about alcohol
- That thou mayest learn to fear the LORD thy God always (v.23)
Should we fear God?
- Don't cut your skin for dead people.
- Ye shall not cut yourselves ... for the dead. 14:1a
- Don't make any baldness between your eyes for dead people.
- Ye shall not ... make any baldness between your eyes for the dead. 14:1b
- Don't eat any abominable thing.
- Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing. 14:3
- Eat these animals: oxen, sheep, goats, harts, roebucks, fallow deer, pygargs, and chamois.
- These are the beasts which ye shall eat: the ox, the sheep, and the goat, The hart, and the roebuck, and the fallow deer, and the wild goat, and the pygarg, and the wild ox, and the chamois. 14:4-5
- Camels, conies, hares, and swine are unlcean.
- Of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the cloven hoof; as the camel, and the hare, and the coney ... they are unclean unto you.
And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you. 14:7-8
- Don't eat camels, conies, hares, or swine.
- Nevertheless these ye shall not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the cloven hoof; as the camel, and the hare, and the coney:
for they chew the cud, but divide not the hoof; therefore they are unclean unto you. And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh.
14:7-8
- Eat animals that live in water and have fins and scales.
- These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat. 14:9
- Don't eat animals that live in the water but don't have fins or scales.
- Whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you. 14:10
- Aquatic and marine animals that lack fins or scales are unlean.
- All that are in the waters ... [and] hath not fins and scales ... it is unclean unto you. 14:9-10
- Eat clean birds.
- Of all clean birds ye shall eat. 14:11
- All clean fowls ye may eat. 14:20
- The following birds may not be eaten: eagles, vultures, ospreys, kites, ravens, owls, nighthawks, hawks, cuckoos, cormorants, swans, pelicans, storks, herons, lapwings, and bats.
- But these are they of which ye shall not eat: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, And the glede, and the kite, and the vulture after his kind, And every raven after his kind, And the owl, and the night hawk, and
the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, The little owl, and the great owl, and the swan, And the pelican, and the gier eagle, and the cormorant, And the stork, and the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
14:12-18
- Every creeping thing that flies is unclean.
- Every creeping thing that flieth is unclean unto you. 14:19a
- Don't eat fowls that creep and walk upon all four.
- Every creeping thing that flieth is unclean unto you: they shall not be eaten. 14:19
- Don't eat any animal (or its fat) that died of natural causes or was killed by other animals.
- Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself. 14:21a
- If you find an animal that has died of natural causes or was killed by other animals, feed it to the dogs or strangers, or sell it to aliens.
- Anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien. 14:21b
- Don't boil a young goat in its mother's milk.
- Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk. 14:21c
- Reserve a tenth of your produce each year, including corn, wine, oil, and firslings of your heard and flocks.
- Thou shalt truly tithe all the increase of thy seed, that the field bringeth forth year by year ... the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil, and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks.
14:22
- Take it to wherever God tells you to take it, and consume it there.
- And thou shalt eat before the Lord thy God, in the place which he shall choose to place his name there, the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil,
and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks; that thou mayest learn to fear the Lord thy God always. 14:23
- If it's too far away to carry everything, then sell your stuff and bring the money instead.
- And if the way be too long for thee, so that thou art not able to carry it; or if the place be too far from thee, which the Lord thy God shall choose to set his name there, when the Lord thy God hath blessed thee:
Then shalt thou turn it into money, and bind up the money in thine hand, and shalt go unto the place which the Lord thy God shall choose. 14:24-25
- When you get there, you can buy oxen, sheep, wine, strong drink -- whatever your soul lusts after.
- And thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever thy soul desireth:
and thou shalt eat there before the Lord thy God, and thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household. 14:26
- Don't forsake the Levites.
- And the Levite that is within thy gates; thou shalt not forsake him. 14:27
- Just remember to share with the Levites.
- And the Levite that is within thy gates; thou shalt not forsake him; for he hath no part nor inheritance with thee. 14:27
- Every three years bring a tenth of your produce to the city gates and leave it for Levites, strangers, the fatherless, and widows.
- At the end of three years thou shalt bring forth all the tithe of thine increase the same year, and shalt lay it up within thy gates: And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor inheritance with thee,)
and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which are within thy gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied. 14:28-29
- Dwindling in Unbelief
- Dan Savage is right about the Bible: It's Bullshit.
(Deuteronomy 14:7-8)
- Slate Blogs the Bible by David Plotz
- Dear Abby, My Wife Is an Idol-Worshipper. What Should I Do?
- Theologikos: Atheists are wrong - lets kill them!!! (14:11)