0 SAB - Strange Flesh: 11. I want a marriage like they had in the Bible

Even as Sodom and Gomorrah ... giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
Jude 7

God's Plan for Marriage

God's original plan was for Adam to select an animal for a "help meet" (spouse).

God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam. Genesis 2:18-19

God created several million species of animals for one purpose and one purpose only: to find a spouse for Adam.1 God hoped Adam would find one or more of these animals attractive enough to marry.2 But it didn't work out as planned.

But for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 2:20
So God made a woman out of Adam's rib.
The LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 2:21-22

Very resourceful!

Here's what Adam said when he saw the new creature made from his rib.

This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. 2:23

So it seems that Adam liked the woman more that any of the animals God created for him.

But whatever Adam may have thought about it, God's sons went wild when they saw women, just a few chapters later. They immediately came down from heaven (or wherever the sons of God hang out) and had sex with the women, producing a mighty race of giants.

And it came to pass ... that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives ... There were giants in the earth in those days ... when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown. Genesis 6:1-4
God must have been angry when he found out about it, though, because in the next few verses he decides to destroy every living thing on earth except for a single family.3 But that's another story.4

After the flood it turned out that men liked women so much they decided that if one was good, two would be even better. So God made rules for "taking" a second wife.

If he take him another wife.... Exodus 21:10
But it often happened that a man liked one of his wives better than another, so God provided rules for a man with two wives, "one beloved, and another hated."
If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated.... Deuteronomy 21:15
And sometimes a man married a woman only to find out on his wedding night that he hated her. To deal with that situation, God came up with this plan: The husband can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. Then if her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets on the wedding night), the woman is stoned to death at her father's doorstep.
If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her. And say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And ... say ... these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. But if ... the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die. Deuteronomy 22:13-21
But what should a man do when he suspects that his wife has been unfaithful? That's where God's law of jealousies comes in so handy. Here's how it works: If a man suspects his wife of being unfaithful, he reports it to the priest. The priest then makes his wife drink the "bitter water." If she is guilty, the water makes her "thigh rot and her belly swell." If innocent, no harm done -- the woman is free and will "conceive seed." In any case, "the man shall be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity."
The LORD spake unto Moses, saying ... if any man's wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him ... And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him ... and she be not defiled ... Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest ... The priest shall ... set her before the LORD ... And the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse ... And the priest shall ... say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee ... be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse. But if ... some man have lain with thee beside thine husband ... The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell. And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen ... And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse ... When he hath made her to drink the water ... if she be defiled ... the water that causeth the curse shall ... become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed. This is the law of jealousies ... When the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law. Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity. Numbers 5:11-31
And what if a man finds a bit of uncleanness in his wife so that he just doesn't like her much anymore? Well, when that happens, God's law allows him to divorce her on the spot.
When a man hath taken a wife ... and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. Deuteronomy 24:1
The divorced woman may remarry, but if her new husband hates her and divorces her too, her former husband must not take her back.5 That would be an abomination to God (like homosexuality or four-legged fowls.)6
When she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD. Deuteronomy 24:2-4
There was also the problem of rape. So God had to make rules for that, too. If you "entice" an "unmarried maid" to "lie" with you, then you must marry her, unless the father refuses to give her to you, in which case you must pay him the going price for virgins.
If a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins." Exodus 22:16-17
And what about women captured during holy wars? God came up with a rule for that, too. If you see a pretty woman among the captives and would like her for a wife, then just bring her home and "go in unto her." Later, if you decide you don't like her, you can "let her go."
When thou goest forth to war ... and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands ... And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house ... and ... thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go. Deuteronomy 21:10-13
What if a man died before his wife had a baby? In that case, God told the dead man's brother to have sex with his dead brother's wife.
If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her. Deuteronomy 25:5
If the brother refused, then the dead brother's wife must take off his shoe and spit in his face.
And if the man like not to take his brother's wife ...Then shall his brother's wife ... loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face. Deuteronomy 25:7-9
God even had rules for splitting up slave families. If you buy a slave, you must set him free after serving you six years. If during that time, you give him a wife, then when his six years are up, he gets to go free, but you get to keep his wife and children.
If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free ... If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. Exodus 21:2-4
God also gives instructions for selling your daughter, and tells you what to do if she fails to please her new owner.
If a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant ... If she please not her master.... Exodus 21:7-8

God had a rule for pretty much everything.

Biblical Examples for Holy Matrimony

Sometimes, though, these rules were a bit confusing, so God provided holy examples for men to follow. The best and surest example, of course, is David, a man after God's own heart.8 From David we know that it is perfectly acceptable for a man to:

Buy a wife with 200 foreskins.

David arose and went ... and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife. And Saul saw and knew that the LORD was with David. 1 Samuel 18:27-28

Get a wife (even though you already have several) by having God kill her husband.

The LORD smote Nabal, that he died. And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the LORD ... And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife ... And Abigail hasted ... and became his wife. 1 Samuel 25:38-42
If you're lucky, God may even give you another man's wives, as he gave David Saul's wives.
Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel ... and I gave thee ... thy master's wives. 2 Samuel 12:7-8
But you must be careful. If you misbehave9, God may punish you by having your wives raped by your son while everyone else watches.

Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house,and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun. 2 Samuel 12:11

Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concubines ... So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. 2 Samuel 16: 21-22

And then slowly kill the baby that was conceived in adultery.
Because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die ... And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick ... on the seventh day, that the child died. 2 Samuel 12:14-18

Of course, some men will want to have even more wives than David had.10 God is okay with that too.11

Go ahead. Wax mighty and have 14 wives.

But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives. 2 Chronicles 13:21
Or, what the heck, have 700 wives and 300 concubines.
He [Solomon] had seven hundred wives ... and three hundred concubines. 1 Kings 11:3
Or marry a whore and have children of whoredom.
The LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD. So he went and took Gomer. Hosea 1:2-3
Or buy an adulterous wife with 15 pieces of silver and a homer and a half of barley.
Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress. So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley. Hosea 3:1-2
However you obtain your wife, though, you must be prepared to let God kill her, as he did Ezekiel's wife. And when he does, don't complain or mourn her death.
Son of man, behold, I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroke: yet neither shalt thou mourn nor weep, neither shall thy tears run down. Forbear to cry, make no mourning for the dead, bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy shoes upon thy feet, and cover not thy lips, and eat not the bread of men. So ... my wife died; and I did in the morning as I was commanded. Ezekiel 24:16-18

But there is one thing that you absolutely must not do: marry outside your ethnicity or faith.

We first see how important this is to God in Genesis, where the aged Abraham makes his slave swear that he will not let Abraham's son Isaac marry a Canaanite. It is so important to Abraham (and presumably to God) that he asks his slave to swear while putting his hand under his thigh (a biblical euphemism for genitals).12

Abraham said unto his eldest servant ... Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites ... The LORD God of heaven ... shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence ... And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware. Genesis 24:2-9
God's distaste for intermarriage is also made clear in Ezra and Nehemiah, where the Israelites mingled their holy seed with strange women, causing Nehemiah to pluck off the hair of the offending Israelites.
They ... entered into a curse, and into an oath ... that we would not give our daughters unto the people of the land, not take their daughters for our sons. Nehemiah 10:29-30
And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. Nehemiah 13:25
And caused Ezra to rent his garment, pluck off his beard, at sit down astonished.
For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands ... And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonished. Ezra 9:2-3

We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land ... Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. Ezra 10:2-3

And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives. Now therefore ... separate yourselves ... from the strange wives. Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do. Ezra 10:10-12

As further evidence of God's hatred of intermarriage (as if any more were required), Phinehas stopped God's plague by impaling an interfaith couple, apparently while they were having sex in their tent.13
One of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses ... And when Phinehas ... saw it, he rose up from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand ... And he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel. And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand. Numbers 25:6-9

(God had planned to kill all of the Israelites, but he was so pleased with Phineas's double murder that he stopped after just killing 24,000.)

Still, all things considered, it might be wise not to marry at all. Because if you do get married, God might give your wife to another man or force you to eat your children (and vice versa).

The word of the LORD came also unto me, saying, Thou shalt not take thee a wife, neither shalt thou have sons or daughters. Jeremiah 16:1-2
Therefore will I give their wives unto others. Jeremiah 8:10

I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. Jeremiah 19:19

The fathers shall eat the sons ... and the sons shall eat their fathers. Ezekiel 5:10

If you're confused by any of this, don't worry. It's all straightened out in the New Testament.

New Testament: New rules for marriage

Chapter 8 discussed the possibility that Jesus was gay. But it is also possible that Jesus was a heterosexual. If so, he was certainly an unusual one.

He never married14 and he surrounded himself with single men.15

Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him. Matthew 10:2-416

He said that there are no married people in heaven, and that those that are worthy of heaven do not marry.17

Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. Luke 20:34-3518

He treated his own family disrespectfully, saying that his true family members are his disciples.

While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! Matthew 12:46-4919
He said that he came to tear apart families.
I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Matthew 10:35
He insulted his own mother (The Most Blessed Virgin Mary).
A certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it. Luke 11:27-28
He advised his followers not to call their fathers "father" because their only true father is the heavenly kind.
Call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. Matthew 23:9
Jesus's views about marriage are clearly expressed in Matthew 19. The chapter begins with the Pharisees asking Jesus if a man should be able to divorce his wife for any reason (or no reason at all). This was somewhat of a trick question, since they knew what the scriptures said. (Yes, a man may divorce his wife for any reason whatsoever.)20
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Matthew 19:3
Jesus responds by saying that since God "made them at the beginning male and female"21 a man should not be permitted to divorce his wife, except when the wife has committed fornication.22
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder ... Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:4-9
When Jesus's disciples heard this, they said, "If a man can't divorce his wife whenever he wants to and for any reason, then it's better not to get married."
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. Matthew 19:10
Jesus agreed, saying it is better not to marry, although not everyone "is able to receive it." Some people are born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs, and some make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. (Jesus seemed to have been a eunuch of the third kind.)
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Matthew 19:11-12
Since Jesus thought it was better not to marry, it's not surprising that he also said that "they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain" heaven "neither marry, nor are given in marriage."23
Jesus ... said ... The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage. But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. Luke 20:34-3524
What bothered Jesus most about marriage, though, was the love that a man had for his wife and children. A married man often loved his wife and family more than he loved Jesus. Such a man, Jesus said, was not worthy of him.
He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:37
So Jesus required a married man to hate hate his wife and children in order to be his disciple.
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26
But such hatred was not enough for Jesus. A man should not only hate his wife and children, but abandon them as well for Jesus's name's sake. Those who were willing to do so would get a huge reward.
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. Matthew 19:2925
Paul agreed with Jesus (more or less) about marriage. As we saw in Chapter 7, Paul said that it's better for a man not to marry or even touch a woman.
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. ... For I would that all men were even as I myself.... I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 1 Corinthians 7:1-9
Only those that are too weak to resist temptation should get married. "For it's better to marry than to burn."
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:9
But even the weaklings that marry shouldn't have sex. There's no time for it since Jesus is coming soon.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none. 1 Corinthians 7:29
Still, Paul doesn't go quite as far as Jesus. Never, for example, does he suggest that married men should abandon their wives and children. And he seems to disagree with Jesus a bit about divorce, saying it's okay for a believing man to "put away" a disbelieving wife, though he recommends that they try to stay together. And a believing woman should try not to leave her disbelieving husband. But if the unbeliever wants to go, let him or her go.
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him ... But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15
There was one thing, though, that all biblical writers agreed upon: wives must obey their husbands as though they were God.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church ... as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. Colossians 3:18

Teach the young women to be ... obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5

Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. 1 Peter 3:1

The Bible and same-sex marriage

The Bible has much to say about marriage. From polygamy to abandoning your entire family for Jesus, God instructions are detailed and far-ranging. Nothing is left to the imagination. Except for one thing -- gay marriage.

The Bible has nothing to say about same-sex marriage, because the Bible says that homosexuals are an abomination26 and should be killed.27 It's hard to get married when you're dead.

Notes

  1. "Animals were provided for the express purpose of providing companionship and support for the adam, that he might have 'a helper as his counterpart' for it is not good for the adam to be alone." Robert A. J. Gagnon, The Bible and Homosexual Practice, 60
  2. The account in Genesis 2 doesn't say whether whether God expected Adam to select a male or female animal for a "help meet."
  3. "And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thought of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the Lord that he had made man ... And the Lord said, I will destroy ... both man and beast ... But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord." Genesis 6:5-8
  4. The first of God's 158 killings in the Bible. See Drunk Will Blood, The Flood of Noah: All flesh died that moved upon the earth.
  5. This sentiment is echoed in Jeremiah: "If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted?" Jeremiah 3:1
  6. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Leviticus 18:22

    "All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you." Leviticus 11:20

    See Chapter 1: Explicit verses - 1. It is an abomination for a list of abominations to God.

  7. A similar law is given in Deuteronomy, with the price specified as 50 shekels.

    "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife." Deuteronomy 22:28-29

  8. "I [God] have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will." Acts 13:22
  9. In this case David had sex with a woman (Bathsheba) and then sent her husband (Uriah) to the front lines to die. So God punished David by having his son publically rape his wives. See the story in 2 Samuel 11.
  10. No one knows how many wives and concubines David had, but he had at least ten of each.

    Michal, 1 Samuel 18:27
    Abigail, 1 Samuel 25:42
    Ahinoam, 1 Samuel 25:43
    Maacah, 2 Samuel 3:3
    Haggith, 2 Samuel 3:4
    Abital, 2:Samuel 3:4
    Eglah, 2 Samuel 3:5
    "And David took him more concubines and wives." 2 Samuel 5:13
    Bathsheba, 2 Samuel 11:27
    "David ... took the ten women his concubines...." 2 Samuel 20:3

  11. See the list of forty polygamists from the Bible at biblicalpolygamy.com.
  12. "[T]he word 'thigh' is sometimes used in ancient Jewish sources as a euphemism for the penis." Eilberg-Schwartz, God's Phallus, 88.
  13. "Exactly what the man and woman were doing when they were both impaled through the belly with a single spear is left to our imagination, but there is one form of physical encounter between a man and woman that nicely explains it." Jonathan Kirsch, The Harlot by the Side of the Road, 90-91.
  14. Not while he was alive, anyway. He ("the Lamb") got married after he died:

    "Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready." Revelation 19:7

  15. Well some of them may have been married, as was Peter when he began to follow Jesus. But if so, they abandoned their wives and families in order to receive the big reward that Jesus offered them.

    "When Jesus was come into Peter's house, he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever." Matthew 8:14

    "Every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Matthew 19:29 (The same promise is made by Jesus in Mark 10:29-30 and Luke 18:29-30.)

  16. See Mark 3:14-19, Luke 6:13-16, and Acts 1:13 for similar, but slightly contradictory lists of apostles.
  17. It's possible, of course, that Jesus didn't mean what he said in this verse. Jesus rarely said what he meant or meant what he said.
  18. The same idea is expressed in the gospels of Matthew and Mark:

    "For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." Matthew 22:30

    "Jesus ... said ... When they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven." Mark 12:24-25

  19. The same account is found in the gospels of Mark and Luke:

    "There came then his brethren and his mother, and, standing without, sent unto him, calling him. And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!" Mark 3:31-34

    "And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee. And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it." Luke 8:20-21

  20. "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house .... And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement...." Deuteronomy 24:1-3
  21. Jesus is quoting Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

    But Jesus was wrong when he said that God "made them at the beginning made them male and female." God didn't create humans "at the beginning" male and female, at least not according to the second creation account that Jesus referenced in Matthew 19:5. According to that story, God created a man first, then all the animals, and then a woman after the man couldn't find a proper "help meet" among the animals.

  22. The same exchange with the Pharisees is reported in Mark and Luke, but their accounts do not add the exception for the wife's fornication.

    "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery." Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18

  23. It's not entirely clear what Jesus meant by this. Are only celibate people worthy of heaven? Or are married people forced to divorce when they get to heaven? Either way, according to Jesus, there are no marriages or married people in heaven.
  24. Similar statements by Jesus are recorded in Matthew and Mark.

    "Jesus answered ... in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." Matthew 22:29-30

    "When they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven." Mark 12:25

  25. Similar offers by Jesus were made in Mark and Luke.

    "There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life." Mark 10:29-30

    "There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting." Luke 18:29-30

  26. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Leviticus 22:18
  27. "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:13

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