Trivia:

I'm writing to you again, Theophilus
1:1

1 The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach,

2 Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:

In my previous book, Theophilus, [1]

I recorded everything that Jesus did and taught until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving commandments to his apostles through the Holy Ghost.

Jesus goes to heaven in a cloud
1:2-11

3 To whom also he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God:

After his death, Jesus appeared to his apostles for forty days [2] and showed many infallible proofs.

4 And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me.

He commanded them, saying,

Don't leave Jerusalem. [3]

5 For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence.

In a few days you'll be baptized with the Holy Ghost.

6 When they therefore were come together, they asked of him, saying, Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel?

They asked him,

Will you restore the kingdom to Israel?

7 And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.

8 But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

He said,

The Father will decide when that will happen.

It's not for you to know.

After the Holy Ghost comes upon you, you'll be witnesses in Judea, Samaria, and everywhere on earth. [4]

9 And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.

After he said these things, Jesus was taken up in a cloud.

10 And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel;

11 Which also said, Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven.

While they were looking up, two men dressed in white said to them,

Why are you Galileans looking up? [5]

Jesus will come in the same way you saw him go into heaven.

Matthias replaces Judas
1:12-26

12 Then returned they unto Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is from Jerusalem a sabbath day's journey.

13 And when they were come in, they went up into an upper room, where abode both Peter, and James, and John, and Andrew, Philip, and Thomas, Bartholomew, and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon Zelotes, and Judas the brother of James.

Then they returned to Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives.

Here's a list of those who were there:

Peter, James, John, Andrew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, Simon Zelotes, and Judas the brother of James. [6]

14 These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.

Along with Jesus's brothers, a few women were also there, including his mother, Mary.

15 And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples, and said, (the number of names together were about an hundred and twenty,)

Peter stood up and spoke to about 120 disciples [7], saying,

16 Men and brethren, this scripture must needs have been fulfilled, which the Holy Ghost by the mouth of David spake before concerning Judas, which was guide to them that took Jesus.

17 For he was numbered with us, and had obtained part of this ministry.

The Holy Ghost inspired David [8] to say something about Judas who betrayed Jesus.

18 Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

19 And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.

After Judas bought a field with the money he received for betraying Jesus, he fell down and burst apart, causing all of his bowels to gush out. [9]

20 For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate, and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.

21 Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us,

In the Psalms, David says, [10]

Let his house be desolate,

and let someone else take his job.

22 Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection.

So one of Jesus's followers must replace him.

23 And they appointed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias.

They picked two men: Joseph (called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus) and Matthias.

24 And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen,

25 That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.

And they prayed, saying,

Since you, God, know the hearts of all men, [11]

choose one of these two guys to replace Judas.

26 And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles.

Then they cast lots, and the lot fell on Matthias, [12]

who became the twelfth apostle.