Thus saith the LORD, Because the Syrians have said, The LORD is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am the LORD. 20:28
Trivia: Who did more evil than everyone who ever lived before him?
Absurdity (74)
Injustice (45)
Cruelty & Violence (42)
Contradictions (36)
Family Values (16)
Intolerance (12)
Interpretation (8)
Women (7)
Boring stuff (6)
Language (6)
Science (6)
Sex (5)
Homosexuality (4)
Prophecy (2)
The First Book of Kings
1 A virgin is found to give David some heat (1-4)
Adonijah tries to become king (5-10)
Bathsheba makes Solomon king (11-53)
2 David's last words: Murder Joab and Shimei (1-9)
Solomon kills his brother Adonijah (10-25)
Solomon kills Joab and Shimei (26-46)
3 Solomon "takes" the Pharaoh's daughter and sacrifices 1000 animals to God (1-4 1 Chr 1)
God appears to Solomon in a dream (5-15)
Two prostitutes and a baby (16-28)
Solomon was wiser than Heman (20-34)
5 Materials for God's house (1-18 2 Chr 2)
6 Solomon builds a house for God (1-38)
7 Solomon builds much larger house for himself (1-51)
8 The ark is brought into the temple (1-66)
Solomon's speech (12-61)
Solomon's animal sacrfice (62-66)
Hiram didn't like the cities Solomon gave him (but he gave Solomon lots of gold anyway) (10-28 2 Chr 8)
10 The Queen of Sheba visits Solomon (1-13)
Solomon's stuff (14-29)
11 Solomon's strange wives and concubines (1-13)
God stirs up adversaries to Solomon (14-25)
God gives ten tribes to Jeroboam (26-40)
Solomon dies (41-43)
12 The people of Israel rebel against Rehoboam (1-20 2 Chr 10)
God tells everyone to go home (21-24 2 Chr 11)
Jeroboam's golden calves (25-33)
13 The man of God from Judah (1-10)
A tale of two prophets (11-34)
14 God kills Jeroboam's son (and promises to kill his family and descendants) (1-18)
Images, groves, and sodomites (19-31)
15 Abijam wasn't perfect like David (1-8 2 Chr 13)
Asa was intolerant (but perfect in the eyes of the Lord) (9-24)
Asa's war with Baasha (16-22)
Asa's foot disease (23-24)
Nadab did evil in the sight of the Lord (25-26)
Baasha kills Nadab and becomes king of Israel (27-28)
Baasha kills Jeroboam's family (according to the word of the Lord) (29-34)
16 God tells Jehu that he will kill Baasha's family (1-7)
Baasha's son Elah becomes king, and is killed by Zimri (8-10)
Zimri kills Baasha's family and friends (11-14)
Zimri is king for a week. Then he burns to death. (15-20)
Omri becomes king (21-28)
After Omri dies, his son Ahab becomes king (29-34)
17 Elijah is fed by ravens (1-6)
A widow provides for Elijah (7-16)
Elijah and the widow's son (17-24)
18 God tells Elijah to visit Ahab (1-15)
The light-my-fire contest (to determine whose god is God) (16-39)
After winning the contest, Elijah kills the 450 losers (40)
Elijah makes it rain (41-46)
19 Jezebel threatens to kill Elijah (1-4)
An angel visits Elijah (and feeds him angel food cake) (5-8)
God visits Elijah (9-18)
Elisha joins Elijah (19-21)
20 Benhadad threatens Ahab (1-11)
God delivers Benhadad into Ahab's hand (12-21)
100,000 Syrians are killed (for calling God a god of the hills) (22-29)
27,000 Syrians are killed by a falling wall (30)
Benhadad and Ahab reach an agreement (31-34)
A lion kills a man for refusing to smite a prophet (35-42)
Jezebel's plan (7-10)
Naboth is stoned to death (11-16)
Elijah tells Ahab what God says (That he'll kill him and his whole wall-pissing family) (17-29)
22 Ahab and Jehoshaphat ask God if they should attack Syria (1-18)
God puts a lying spirit in the mouth of his prophets (19-28)
King Ahab dies (and the dogs licked his blood according to the word of the Lord) (29-53)
