0 SAB Genesis 3



Two trees, a talking serpent, and a fearful god

1 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

Of all the beasts that God made, the serpent was the most clever.

He said to the woman,

Did God say you shouldn't eat from every tree in the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

The woman said to the serpent,

We may eat the fruit of the trees in the garden.

Except for the tree in the middle of the garden. [1]

God said, "Don't eat from it or touch it, or you will die."

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

The serpent said,

You won't die.

God knows that when you eat from that tree you will be like gods, knowing good and evil.

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

When the woman saw that the tree was good food, was nice looking, and would make her wise [2}, she picked and ate its fruit.

She gave some to her husband, and he ate it. [3]

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

After eating the fruit, they knew they were naked.

So they sewed some fig leaves together for aprons.

8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

Adam and woman heard the voice of God, who was walking in the garden during the cool of the day. [4]

So they hid in the trees.

9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

God said,

Where are you? [5]

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

Adam replied,

I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked. So I hid myself.

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

God said to Adam,

Who told you that you are naked?

Have you eaten from the tree I told you not to eat from? [6]

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

The man said,
The woman [7] you gave me, gave me the fruit and I ate it.

13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

God said to the woman,
What have you done?

The woman said,

The serpent fooled me, and I ate.
14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

God said to the serpent,

You are cursed more than all animals.

From now on you'll have to crawl on your belly and eat dust.

I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. [8]

It will bruise your head, and you will bruise his heel.

16Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
God said to the woman,
I will multiply your sorrow and make you suffer in childbirth.

You will desire your husband, and he will rule over you. [9]

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

God said to Adam,

Because you listened to your wife [10] and ate from the tree,

I will curse the ground, make thorns and thistles grow, and force you to eat it all your life.

20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

Adam named his wife "Eve" [11] because she was the mother of all the living.

21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

God made skin coats for Adam and Eve.

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

God said,

The man has become one of us [12] to know good and evil.

Now, before he eats from the tree of life and lives forever....

23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

So God expelled Adam from the garden of Eden, and installed cherubim with flaming swords to guard access to the tree of life.
ConnorE2 weeks ago

Here's where things really start to get interesting, and where interpretation starts to get off the rails.

It is at this point that we are introduced to the character of the Serpent. We won't be dealing with him for very long, though, unless you're someone who believes that the Serpent and Satan are the same entity, which is a pretty common interpretation amongst Christian Fundamentalist circles, and is a belief that Jews and most Liberal Christians tend not to hold. Interpretations will get weirder, but we'll get there when we get there.

Anyways, this Serpent calls God's bluff about the fruit of the trees. They won't die right after eating it, so I guess you could say the Serpent was right about that. After being served that little truth-bomb, the woman and Adam share some fruit, causing them to realize that they're both waltzing around in their birthday suits.

Along comes God, who is not acting in any way, shape, or form like he's omniscient and omnipresent, as he takes a walk around the garden, where he bumps into those two fruit-munching hooligans in a rather awkward situation. God realizes that the two mortals in front of him really shouldn't know how embarrassing this situation is, and comes to the conclusion that they ate from the forbidden tree.

Adam blames the woman, and the woman blames the Serpent. God, the ever-just judge, punishes everyone involved. How? You may ask?

Well, he strips the Serpent of its legs, which apparently it used to have, AND THAT'S WHY SNAKES DON'T HAVE LEGS!

He then punishes the woman by making childbirth excruciatingly painful, AND THAT'S WHY CHILDBIRTH IS A BITCH!

And then he punishes the man by making weeds sprout out from the ground. AND THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME PICKING THOSE DAMN THINGS OUT OF THE GROUND!

For some reason, this whole 'That's why *insert natural phenomenon* exists' kind of story just reeks of pagan mythology, but I can't really put a finger on why exactly right now, wink wink.

Oh, and before I forget, apparently, God separates the seed of the woman from the seed of the Serpent as well, which sounds weird as fuck to any rational person, but apparently, some racists took this whole idea and ran with it. Check this site's page on 'The Two Seed Theory' if you want to know what I mean. I told you that interpretations would get weird.

Anyways, God is so paranoid that Adam and Eve (Yes, that's the woman's name) might discover immortality that he gives them a change of clothes and tells them to leave Eden. He also installs some bouncers outside of Eden just to make extra sure that nobody tries to get in.

Surprisingly, there's no mention of animals suddenly turning carnivorous anywhere in this chapter. Take that, Ken Ham!


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