If a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant.... 21:7
Trivia: According to Exodus 17, how did Moses obtain water for the people to drink?
If a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant.... 21:7
Trivia: According to Exodus 17, how did Moses obtain water for the people to drink?
"Moses ... looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand. 2:11-12
Moses murders an Egyptian after making sure that no one is looking.
"I will ... smite Egypt with all my wonders." 3:20
"If thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn." 4:23
God threatens to kill the Pharaoh's firstborn son.
"The LORD met him [Moses], and sought to kill him." 4:24-26
God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. Luckily for Moses, his Egyptian wife Zipporah "took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me. So he [God] let him go." This story shows the importance of penises to God, and his hatred of foreskins.
"Let us go, we pray thee, three days' journey into the desert, and sacrifice unto the LORD our God; lest he fall upon us with pestilence, or with the sword." 5:3
Moses and Aaron ask the Pharaoh to let all the Israelites go into the desert to pray for three days, or else God will kill them all "with pestilence, or with the sword."
"Then the LORD said unto Moses, Now shalt thou see what I will do to Pharaoh." 6:1
God is going to kill and torment the Egyptians just to show everyone what he can do.
"I will harden Pharaoh's heart ... Pharaoh shall not hearken unto you, that I may lay my hand upon Egypt, and bring forth mine armies ... And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." 7:4
God will make sure that Pharaoh does not listen to Moses, so that he can kill Egyptians with his armies.
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." 7:5
Who else could be so cruel and unjust?
"In this thou shalt know that I am the LORD: behold, I will smite with the rod that is in mine hand upon the waters which are in the river, and they shall be turned to blood." 7:17-24
God tells Moses and Aaron to smite the river and turn it into blood. This is the first of the famous 10 plagues of Egypt.
"All the cattle of Egypt died: but of the cattle of the children of Israel died not one." 9:6
The fifth plague: all cattle in Egypt die.
But a little later (9:19-20, 12:29), God
kills them again a couple more times.
"And it shall ... be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the land of Egypt." 9:9-12
The sixth plague: boils and blains upon man and beast.
"I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is none like me in all the earth." 9:14
Who else but the biblical god could be so cruel?
"For this cause have I raised thee up, for to shew in thee my power." 9:16
God made the Pharaoh king so that God could show off his power.
"And the hail smote throughout the land of Egypt all that was in the field, both man and beast." 9:22-25
The seventh plague is hail.
"And that thou mayest tell in the ears of thy son, and of thy son's son, what things I have wrought in Egypt." 10:2
God wants to be remembered forever for the mass murder of little children.
"About midnight will I go out into the midst of Egypt: And all the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die." 11:4-6
These verses clearly show that the mass murder of innocent children by God was premeditated. (see 12:29-30)
"All the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die ... that ye may know how the LORD doth put a difference between the Egyptians and Israel." 11:7
God will kill every firstborn Egyptian child to show that he likes Israelites more than Egyptians.
"I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast." 12:12
God explains to Moses that he intends to kill every Egyptian fristborn man and beast.
"When your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? That ye shall say, It is the sacrifice of the LORD's passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses." 12:26-26
When your children ask you, "Why do we celebrate the passover," tell them, "Because God passed over our houses when he was killing Egyptians and didn't kill any of us."
"At midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt ... and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead." 12:29-30
After God has sufficiently hardened the Pharaoh's heart, he kills all the firstborn Egyptian children. When he was finished "there was not a house where there was not one dead." Finally, he runs out of little babies to kill, so he slaughters the firstborn cattle, too.
"Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine." 13:2, 12, 15
To commemorate the divine massacre of the Egyptian children, Moses instructs the Israelites to "sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the matrix" -- all the males, that is. God has no use for dead, burnt female bodies.
"I will harden Pharaoh's heart." 14:4
"The LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea., And ... there remained not so much as one of them." 14:4-28
After hardening Pharaoh's heart a few more times, God drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea.
The LORD shall fight for you. 14:14
"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour." 14:17
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen." 14:18
"And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the sea, that the waters may come again upon the Egyptians." 14:26
God drowned the Egyptian army by having Moses hold out his hand over the sea.
"I will sing unto the LORD ... the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea." 15:1-19
Moses and the people sing praises to their murderous god.
"The Lord is a man of war." Indeed, judging from his acts in the Old Testament, he is a vicious warlike monster. 15:3
"Thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy." 15:6
God's right hand dashes people in pieces.
"For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them." 15:19
"Horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea." 15:21
"If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD ... I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians." 15:26
If you do what God says, he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to the Egyptians). But otherwise....
"Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword." 17:13
Joshua, with God's approval, kills the Amalekites "with the edge of the sword."
"I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven." 17:14
God says he will commit complete genocide on the Amalekites.
"The Lord has sworn that the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation." 17:14-16
God swears that he is still fighting Amalek. I hope Moses can still keep his hand up.
"Whosoever toucheth the mount shall be surely put to death ... he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be beast or man." 19:12-13
Any person or animal that touches Mt. Sinai shall be stoned to death or "shot through." Did Moses impose such severe penalties because he feared that someone might see him fake his meeting with God?
"Thou shalt ... sacrifice ... burnt offerings." 20:24
God gives instructions for killing and burning animals. He says that if we will make such "burnt offerings," he will bless us for it. What kind of mind would be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals?
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant...." 21:2-6
God sets down the rules regarding Hebrew slaves. You can buy one, but you must set him free on the seventh year. But if you have "given" him a wife and she bears children, then you get to keep the wife and kids. If he refuses to leave his family when his seven years are up, then bore a hole through his ear and keep him forever. (That sounds fair!)
"His master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever." 21:6
If a Hebrew slave refuses to leave his family after his seven years are up, his master will drill a hole through his ear and he will serve his master as a slave forever.
"He that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death." 21:15
A child who strikes his parents must be executed.
"He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." 21:17
A child that curses his parents must be executed.
"If a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and ... if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money." 21:20-21
It's OK with God if you slowly beat your slaves to death. After all, they are your money.
"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. 21:2-25
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
"If a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sake." 21:26-27
It's okay to beat your slaves; even if they die you won't be punished, just as long as they survive a day or two after the beating (see verses 21:20-21). But avoid excessive damage to their eyes or teeth. Otherwise you may have to set them free.
"If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned." 21:28
If an ox gores someone, "then the ox shall surely be stoned."
"The ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death." 21:29
If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner, then "the ox shall be stoned, and his owner shall be put to death.".
"If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned." 21:32
If an ox gores a slave, the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave 30 shekels of silver, and "the ox shall be stoned."
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." 22:18
Thousands of innocent women have suffered excruciating deaths because of this verse.
"Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." 22:19
"Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." Is it really necessary to kill such people? Couldn't we just send them to counseling or something?
"He who sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed." 22:20
If this commandment were obeyed, then the four or five billion people who do not believe in the biblical god would be killed.
"My wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless." 22:24
If you make God angry enough, he will kill you and your family with his own sword.
"The firstborn of thy sons thou shalt give unto me." 22:29
As a burnt offering?
"I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people." 23:27
God promises to "send his fear before the Israelites" and to kill everyone that they encounter when they enter the promised land.
"I will send hornets before thee." 23:28
God has hornets that bite and kill people.
"And Moses took the blood, and sprinkled it on the people." 24:5-8
Moses has some animals killed and their dead bodies burned for God. Then he sprinkles their blood on the altar and on the people. This makes God happy.
"Thou shalt kill the bullock before the LORD." 29:11-37
Get some animals, kill them, chop up their bodies, wave body parts in the air, burn the carcasses, and sprinkle the blood all around -- in precisely the way God tells you.
"Take of the ram the fat and the rump, and the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and the right shoulder ... and shalt wave them for a wave offering before the LORD." 29:22-24
God tells Aaron and his sons to take the rump, fat, caul, kidneys, and right shoulder of the ram and add a loaf of bread or two, and a wafer of unleavened bread. Then they put the whole mess in the hands of Aaron and his sons and they wave them before the Lord. This is a wave offering.
"Thou shalt offer every day a bullock for a sin offering for atonement." 29:36-39
Have you killed and offered your bullock for a sin offering today? How about the two lambs you are supposed to offer each day?
"Ye shall keep the sabbath ... every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death." 31:14
Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed.
"Let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation." 32:10
When God sees the people dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf, he gets so angry that he wants to kill everyone - except for Moses, of course, from whom he will make a great nation. So he plans to kill all the Israelites and replace them with Moses's offspring.
"He [Aaron] took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it." 32:20
Moses burned the golden calf, ground it into powder, and then forced it down the throats of all the people.
"Who is on the LORD's side?" 32:27-28
God orders the sons of Levi (Moses, Aaron, and the other members of their tribe that were "on the Lord's side") to kill their familiy and friends. "And there fell of the people that day about 3000 men."
"Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book." 32:33
"And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made." 32:35p>
But God wasn't satisfied with the slaughter of the 3000, so he killed some more people with a plague.
"All the firstborn of thy sons thou shalt redeem." 34:20
If a father doesn't redeem his firstborn son, must he break his neck as he must do with a donkey?
"The firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck." 34:20
"Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death." 35:2-3
Whoever works, or even kindles a fire, on the Sabbath "shall be put to death."
