Mary Magdalene (and her seven devils)
And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and
village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and
the twelve were with him,
And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of
whom went seven devils,
And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many
others, which ministered unto him of their substance.
Jesus and his twelve disciples went through every city and village, preaching and showing glad tidings.
Certain women, who had been healed of evil spirits and illnesses, followed them.
Among these were Mary Magdalene, who had seven devils removed from her,
Joanna, Susanna, and many others, who served Jesus and his disciples.
And when much people were gathered together, and were come to him out of
every city, he spake by a parable:
A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way
side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.
And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered
away, because it lacked moisture.
And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked
And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an
hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears
to hear, let him hear.
Many people were gathered, when Jesus spoke this parable:
A sower sowed some seeds.
Some fell by the wayside, and were trampled;
and some were eaten by birds;
some fell on a rock, and withered as soon as it sprouted, since they had no water;
some fell among thorns, and were choked by them.
And other seeds fell on good ground, and bore 100 times as much fruit.
When Jesus finished saying these things, he said,
If you have ears, hear.
The purpose of the parables (to confuse people)
And his disciples asked him, saying, What might this parable be?
Jesus's disciples asked him,
What does this parable mean?
And he said, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of
God: but to others in
parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not
You can know the mysteries of the kingdom of God.
But I speak in parables to everyone else,
so that they will hear and see, but not understand. 
Jesus explains the parable of the sower
Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God.
Jesus said to his disciples,
The seed is God's word.
Those by the way side are they that hear; then cometh the devil, and
taketh away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be
Those by the wayside, hear, but the devil comes and takes the word away to keep them from being saved.
They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive the word with
joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe, and in time of
temptation fall away.
The seed that falls on rock are those who hear the word with joy, but have no root, so they believe for a while
and then fall away when temptation comes.
And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go
forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and
bring no fruit to perfection.
The seed that falls among thorns are those who hear, but are choked by the cares of the world.
But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart,
having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
The seed that falls on good ground are those with honest and good hearts that receive the word, keep it, and
bring forth fruit with patience.
Candles, secrets, haves, and have nots
No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or
putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which
enter in may see the light.
You don't put a candle under a bowl or bed.
You set it on a candlestick, so you can see.
For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing
hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.
There will be no secrets.
Everything that is hid, will be exposed.
Take heed therefore how ye hear: for whosoever hath, to him shall be
given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he
seemeth to have.
Those who have, will be given more.
Those who have not,
will have what little they have taken away. 
Then came to him his mother and his brethren, and could not come at him
for the press.
Jesus's mother and brothers came to see him, but it was too crowded.
And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring
to see thee.
So someone said to him,
Your mother and brothers are here to see you.
And he answered and
said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of
God, and do it.
My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and do it. 
Now it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a ship with his
disciples: and he said unto them, Let us go over unto the other side of the
lake. And they launched forth.
One day Jesus said to his disciples,
Let's get on the boat and cross the lake.
But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on
the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy.
As soon as they got on the boat, Jesus fell asleep.
And then a storm came up.
And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish.
Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they
ceased, and there was a calm.
They woke Jesus up and said to him,
We're all going to die.
So Jesus got up and rebuked the wind and it was calm.
And he said unto them, Where is your faith? And they being afraid
wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he
commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him.
He said to them,
Where's your faith?
And they all were amazed that the wind and water obeyed him.
Jesus casts out more devils (and drowns some pigs)
And they arrived at the country of the Gadarenes, which is over against
And they arrived in the country of the Gadarenes.
And when he went forth to land, there met him out of the city a certain man,
which had devils long time, and ware no clothes, neither abode in any house,
but in the tombs.
As they walked, a man came out of the city,
who had devils for a long time.
He was naked, homeless, and lived in the tombs. 
When he saw Jesus, he cried out, and fell down before him, and with a loud
voice said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I
beseech thee, torment me not.
(For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For
oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in
fetters; and he brake the bands, and was driven of the devil into the
When he saw Jesus, he cried out with a loud voice, and said,
Jesus! What do I have to do with you, you Son of God?
Please don't torture me.
And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion:
because many devils were entered into him.
Jesus said to him, "What's your name?"
He (or they) said, "Legion, because there are so many of us."
And they besought him that he would not command them to go out into the
The devils begged Jesus not to send them into the pit. 
And there was there an herd of many swine feeding on the mountain: and
they besought him that he would suffer them to enter into them. And he
There was a herd of pigs on the mountain.
The devils asked Jesus to let them enter the pigs.
And Jesus said, "OK".
Then went the devils
out of the man, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down
a steep place into the lake, and were choked.
When they that fed them saw what was done, they fled, and went and told it
in the city and in the country.
So the devils went out of the man and into the pigs,
who ran off a cliff into the lake and were drowned.
Then they went out to see what was done; and came to Jesus, and found the
man, out of whom the devils were departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus,
clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
They also which saw it told them by what means he that was possessed of
the devils was healed.
The man who had the devils sat at Jesus's feet.
He was clothed and in his right mind.
Then the whole multitude of the country of the Gadarenes round about
besought him to depart from them; for they were taken with great fear: and
he went up into the ship, and returned back again.
Everyone in the country of the Gadarenes asked Jesus to leave.
So Jesus and his disciples got back on the boat and left.
Now the man out of whom the devils were departed besought him that he
might be with him: but Jesus sent him away, saying,
Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto
thee. And he went his way, and published throughout the whole city how great
things Jesus had done unto him.
The man who had the devils wanted to go with Jesus,
but Jesus sent him away, saying,
Go back to your own house,
and show everyone what great things have been done to you.
So that's what the man did.
Jairus's daughter and a woman with an issue of blood
And it came to pass, that, when Jesus was returned, the people gladly
received him: for they were all waiting for him.
When Jesus returned, the people were waiting for him.
And, behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the
synagogue: and he fell down at Jesus' feet, and besought him that he would
come into his house:
A man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue, fell down at Jesus's feet and asked him to come to his house.
For he had one only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she lay a dying. But as
he went the people thronged him.
He had a daughter, about twelve years old, who was dying. 
And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her
living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,
At the same time,
a woman who had an issue of blood for twelve years,
whom none of the physicians could heal, 
Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately
her issue of blood stanched.
touched the edge of Jesus's garment,
and immediately her bleeding stopped. 
And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were
with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest
thou, Who touched me?
Jesus said, "Who touched me?" 
Peter said, "Look at this crowd.
How could anyone know who touched you?"
And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is
gone out of me.
Jesus said, "Well somebody touched me.
I could feel the virtue go out of me."
And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she
came trembling, and
falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for
what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.
The woman saw that he knew, she fell down before him and said that she touched him and was healed immediately.
And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made
thee whole; go in peace.
Jesus said, "Your faith has healed you. Go in peace." 
While he yet spake, there cometh one from the ruler of the synagogue's
house, saying to him, Thy daughter is dead; trouble not the Master.
While Jesus was speaking, a messenger came to the ruler saying, "Your daughter is dead."
But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only,
and she shall be made whole.
And when he came into the house, he suffered no man to go in, save Peter,
and James, and John, and the father and the mother of the maiden.
When Jesus heard it, he said,
Don't be afraid. Just believe and she'll be healed."
And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said, Weep not; she is not dead,
Everyone was crying, but Jesus said,
Don't cry. She's not dead, she's just sleeping.
And they laughed him to scorn, knowing that she was dead.
Everyone laughed at him, since they knew she was dead.
And he put them all out, and took her by the hand, and called, saying,
Jesus took the girl by the hand, and said,
And her spirit came again, and she arose straightway: and he commanded to
give her meat.
And she arose right away. 
Jesus told them to get her some food.
And her parents were astonished: but he charged them that they should tell
no man what was done.
Everyone was astonished.
But he told them not to tell anyone.
- Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God:But to others in
parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand. (v.10)
Jesus speaks in parables so that people won't understand him.
Did Jesus have any secret teachings?
- Whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he
seemeth to have. (v.18)
Isn't this the US Republican Party platform?
- My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of
God, and do it. (v.21)
Jesus, when told that his mother and brothers want to see him, ignores and insults them by saying that his mother and
brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.
How should parents be treated?
- A certain man, which had devils long time, and ware no clothes (v.27)
Jesus heals a naked man [Matthew (8:28) says there were two men]
possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea.
This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not
favorably impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave.
What the Bible says about torture
How many men were possessed with devils?
- They besought him that he would not command them to go out into the deep. (v.31)
Where did the devils ask not to go?
- He had one only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she lay a dying. (v.42)
Was Jairus's daughter alive when Jesus was approached?
- A woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians,
neither could be healed of any (v.43)
Jesus heals a woman "having an issue of blood." It's the usual story: none of the doctors could cure her,
but the faith healer (Jesus, in this case) could.
- Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment:
and immediately her issue of blood stanched. (v.44)
When was the woman who touched Jesus's robe cured?
- Jesus said, Who touched me? (v.45)
Did Jesus know everything?
- Thy faith hath made thee whole. (v.48)
If you have enough faith, you will never get sick.
(Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith. Medical science is unnecessary.)
What the Bible says about medical science
- She arose straightway (v.55)
Was Jesus the first to rise from the dead?
- Hear the word of God and do it.
- My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it. 8:21
- Dwindling in Unbelief
- Where do
evil spirits come from? (Luke 8:2)
- The Bible's guide
to torture (8:27-37)
- Christian Response
- The Annotated Skeptic's Annotated Bible
- The maid is not dead, but sleepeth (Luke 8)
- SAB Author Answered