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Deuteronomy 23
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(23:1)
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into
the congregation of the LORD."
Does God prefer castrated men?
What the Bible says about going to church,
penises, and testicles
(23:2)
"A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD;
even to his tenth generation"
God won't let bastards attend church. Neither
can the sons or daughters of bastards "even to the tenth generation."
Are we punished for the sins of others?
(23:3) "An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD;
even to their tenth generation."
Did any Moabite enter the congregation of the Lord?
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| 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into
the congregation of the LORD.
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| 23:2
A bastard shall not
enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation
shall
he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
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| 23:3
An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth
generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever:
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| 23:4
Because they met you not with bread and with water in the way, when ye
came forth out of Egypt; and because they hired against thee Balaam the son
of Beor of Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse thee.
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| 23:5
Nevertheless the LORD thy God would not hearken unto Balaam; but the LORD
thy God turned the curse into a blessing unto thee, because the LORD thy God
loved thee.
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| 23:6
Thou shalt not seek their peace nor their prosperity all thy days
for ever. |
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| 23:7
Thou shalt not abhor an
Edomite; for he is thy brother: thou shalt not abhor an Egyptian;
because thou wast a stranger in his land. |
(23:7) "Thou shalt not abhor an Edomite; for he is thy brother."
How should the Edomites be treated?
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| 23:8
The children that are begotten of them shall enter into the congregation
of the LORD in their third generation. |
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| 23:9
When the host goeth forth against thine enemies, then keep thee from every
wicked thing. |
(23:10) "If there be among you any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness
that chanceth him by night"
God lays down the law on wet dreams.
What the Bible says about wet dreams
(23:13-14) God's rules for defecating.
Carefully cover up all feces "for the Lord walketh in the midst
of thy camp." (You wouldn't want the divine foot to step in your shit,
would you?)
Does God have a body?
What the Bible says about personal hygiene
(23:13) "Thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith,
and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:"
(23:14) "For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp."
(23:15-16) Don't return runaway slaves to their masters. Let them live with you in peace and freedom.
Does God approve of slavery?
(23:15) "Thou shalt not deliver unto his master the servant which is escaped."
(23:16) "He shall dwell with thee, even among you, in that place which he shall choose in one of thy gates, where it liketh him best: thou shalt not oppress him."
(23:17-18)
Don't bring any whore, sodomite, or dog into the house of the Lord. For "these things are an
abomination to the Lord." (Sodomites and dogs are biblical names for
homosexuals.)
(23:17) "There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel."
(23:18) "Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God."
(23:20) "Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury."
Usury is wrong except when lending to strangers. Then it's okay.
(23:21)
"When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee."
Is it okay to take oaths?
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| 23:10
If there be among you
any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness that chanceth him by night, then shall he go abroad out of the camp, he shall not come within
the camp:
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| 23:11
But it shall be, when evening cometh on, he shall wash himself with water:
and when the sun is down, he shall come into the camp again.
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| 23:12
Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth
abroad:
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| 23:13
And thou shalt have a
paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself
abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that
which cometh from thee:
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| 23:14
For the LORD thy
God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give
up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see
no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.
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| 23:15
Thou shalt not deliver unto his
master the servant which is escaped from his master unto thee:
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| 23:16
He shall dwell with thee, even among you, in that place which he shall
choose in one of thy gates, where it liketh him best: thou shalt not oppress him.
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| 23:17
There shall be no
whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of
Israel.
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| 23:18
Thou shalt not bring
the hire of a whore, or
the price of a dog, into
the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are
abomination unto the LORD thy God.
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| 23:19
Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money, usury of
victuals, usury of any thing that is lent upon usury:
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| 23:20
Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou
shalt not lend upon usury: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all that
thou settest thine hand to in the land whither thou goest to possess it.
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| 23:21
When thou shalt vow a
vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy
God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.
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| 23:22
But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.
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| 23:23
That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a
freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the LORD thy God, which
thou hast promised with thy mouth.
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| 23:24
When thou comest into thy neighbour's vineyard, then thou mayest eat
grapes thy fill at thine own pleasure; but thou shalt not put any in thy
vessel.
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| 23:25
When thou comest into the standing corn of thy neighbour, then thou mayest
pluck the ears with thine hand; but thou shalt not move a sickle unto thy
neighbour's standing corn.
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