0 SAB 2 Samuel 15

Let there not fail from the house of Joab one that hath an issue, or that is a leper, or that leaneth on a staff, or that falleth on the sword, or that lacketh bread. 3:29

Trivia: How much did Absalom's hair weigh?

2 Samuel

CHAPTER 15

Absalom conspires against David
15:1-12

1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him.

After David and Absalom kissed and made up, Absalom prepared a chariot, fifty horses, and fifty men to run before him.

2 And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.

3 And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.

4 Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!

Every day Absalom would stand by the gate of Jerusalem and intercept people coming to do business with the king.

He'd say to them,

You have a good case, but you won't be treated fairly.

But if I were king, I'd treat you right.

5 And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.

Absalom would say things like that to everyone that came by. When they bowed to him, he'd grab them and kiss them.

6 And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

And by doing stuff like that, he stole the hearts of everyone in Israel.

7And it came to pass after forty years, that Absalom said unto the king, I pray thee, let me go and pay my vow, which I have vowed unto the LORD, in Hebron.

8 For thy servant vowed a vow while I abode at Geshur in Syria, saying, If the LORD shall bring me again indeed to Jerusalem, then I will serve the LORD.

After 40 years(!) [1], Absalom said to David,

Please let me return to Hebron to pay my vow to God.

I promised God that if he brought me back to Jerusalem, I'd serve him.

9 And the king said unto him, Go in peace. So he arose, and went to Hebron.

10 But Absalom sent spies throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, As soon as ye hear the sound of the trumpet, then ye shall say, Absalom reigneth in Hebron.

David said, "Okay. Go in peace."

So Absalom went to Hebron.

Meanwhile, Absalom sent spies throughout Israel who told everyone, "When you hear a trumpet, you'll know that Absalom is king in Hebron."

11 And with Absalom went two hundred men out of Jerusalem, that were called; and they went in their simplicity, and they knew not any thing.

200 men from Jerusalem went with Absalom.

None of them knew anything.

12 And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David's counsellor, from his city, even from Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased continually with Absalom.

Absalom enlisted David's counsellor, Ahithophel, in his conspiracy against his father.

And his conspiracy grew stronger and stronger.

David runs away (leaving his concubines to keep house)
15:13-37

13 And there came a messenger to David, saying, The hearts of the men of Israel are after Absalom.

Then a messenger came to David and said,
The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.

14 And David said unto all his servants that were with him at Jerusalem, Arise, and let us flee; for we shall not else escape from Absalom: make speed to depart, lest he overtake us suddenly, and bring evil upon us, and smite the city with the edge of the sword.

David said,
Let's run away before his kills us all!

15 And the king's servants said unto the king, Behold, thy servants are ready to do whatsoever my lord the king shall appoint.

His servants said,
Sure, whatever you say.

16 And the king went forth, and all his household after him. And the king left ten women, which were concubines, to keep the house.

So David left Jerusalem because he was afraid that his son Absalom was going to kill him.

But he left his ten concubines to fend for themselves (and keep house).

17 And the king went forth, and all the people after him, and tarried in a place that was far off.

18 And all his servants passed on beside him; and all the Cherethites, and all the Pelethites, and all the Gittites, six hundred men which came after him from Gath, passed on before the king.

19 Then said the king to Ittai the Gittite, Wherefore goest thou also with us? return to thy place, and abide with the king: for thou art a stranger, and also an exile.

20 Whereas thou camest but yesterday, should I this day make thee go up and down with us? seeing I go whither I may, return thou, and take back thy brethren: mercy and truth be with thee.

21 And Ittai answered the king, and said, As the LORD liveth, and as my lord the king liveth, surely in what place my lord the king shall be, whether in death or life, even there also will thy servant be.

Everyone else, except for the concubines, left with David to a place that was far away.

23 And all the country wept with a loud voice, and all the people passed over: the king also himself passed over the brook Kidron, and all the people passed over, toward the way of the wilderness.

22 And David said to Ittai, Go and pass over. And Ittai the Gittite passed over, and all his men, and all the little ones that were with him.

All the people with David cried with a loud voice as they passed over the brook Kidron.

24 And lo Zadok also, and all the Levites were with him, bearing the ark of the covenant of God: and they set down the ark of God; and Abiathar went up, until all the people had done passing out of the city.

Zadok and the Levites were with David, carrying the ark of the covenant.

25 And the king said unto Zadok, Carry back the ark of God into the city: if I shall find favour in the eyes of the LORD, he will bring me again, and shew me both it, and his habitation:

26 But if he thus say, I have no delight in thee; behold, here am I, let him do to me as seemeth good unto him.

27 The king said also unto Zadok the priest, Art not thou a seer? return into the city in peace, and your two sons with you, Ahimaaz thy son, and Jonathan the son of Abiathar.

28 See, I will tarry in the plain of the wilderness, until there come word from you to certify me.

David said to Zadok,
Go back to Jerusalem. If I please God, he'll bring me back there, too.

29 Zadok therefore and Abiathar carried the ark of God again to Jerusalem: and they tarried there.

So Zadok and Abiathar carried the ark back to Jerusalem.

30 And David went up by the ascent of mount Olivet, and wept as he went up, and had his head covered, and he went barefoot: and all the people that was with him covered every man his head, and they went up, weeping as they went up.

David and the other men covered their heads, took off their shoes, and wept, while they ascended mount Olivet.

31 And one told David, saying, Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom. And David said, O LORD, I pray thee, turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness.

One of the men told David that Ahithophel had joined Absalom's conspiracy.

David said, "Please God, make Ahithophel's advice foolish."

32 And it came to pass, that when David was come to the top of the mount, where he worshipped God, behold, Hushai the Archite came to meet him with his coat rent, and earth upon his head:

When David got to the top of the mount, he worshipped God.

Then Hushai came, with his coat torn and with dirt on his head.

33 Unto whom David said, If thou passest on with me, then thou shalt be a burden unto me:

David said to Hushai,

If you come with me, you'll be a burden to me.

34 But if thou return to the city, and say unto Absalom, I will be thy servant, O king; as I have been thy father's servant hitherto, so will I now also be thy servant: then mayest thou for me defeat the counsel of Ahithophel.

Return to Jerusalem and become Absalom's servant.

35 And hast thou not there with thee Zadok and Abiathar the priests? therefore it shall be, that what thing soever thou shalt hear out of the king's house, thou shalt tell it to Zadok and Abiathar the priests.

36 Behold, they have there with them their two sons, Ahimaaz Zadok's son, and Jonathan Abiathar's son; and by them ye shall send unto me every thing that ye can hear.

When you become his servant, tell Zadock and Abiathar whatever you hear.

37 So Hushai David's friend came into the city, and Absalom came into Jerusalem.

So Hushai returned to Jerusalem and became David's spy.
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