Let your women keep
silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but
they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will
learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame
for women to speak in the church.
- 1 Corinthians 14:34-35
First Corinthians for Skeptics
Paul has an important message in First Corinthians: time is running out. There's no time for learning; no time
for sex, marriage or families. Jesus is coming soon.
In the meantime, slaves should obey their masters, woman should obey their husbands, and everyone should speak in
tongues. Just not as much as Paul. ("I thank my God, I speak with tongues more than ye all.")
- Paul expected Jesus to return within the lifetime of his followers. 1:7-8, 10:11, 10:11,
- Christians started out divided (into followers of Paul, Apollos, Cephas, or Christ), and it has remained so ever since. 1:12, 3:4
- Poor Paul is confused. First he says that he baptized no one. Well, except for Crispus and Gaius. And maybe Stephanus and his household. He can't remember if he did it to anyone else.
- God: the destroyer of wisdom 1:19-20
- "It pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe." 1:21
- If you are to be a good Christian you must try to know nothing (except for Jesus, of course). 2:2
- Christians can judge everything and everybody (including angels!), but no non-Christian can judge them. 2:15, 6:3
- Get saved by burning your work. 3:15
- Christians should become ignorant fools. 3:18-20, 4:10, 8:2, 14:38
- Forget Jesus. Follow Paul! 4:16
- Delivering people to Satan for the destruction of the flesh so that Jesus can save their spirits. 5:5
- Zeroth Corinthians 5:9
- Paul lists ten things that will keep you out of heaven, including
homosexuality and being "effeminate." 6:9-11
- Everything is lawful to Paul and he submits to no law. 6:12, 10:23
- "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." 7:1
- "I would that all men were even as I myself." 7:7
- Slaves should not desire their freedom. 7:21
- Those who are unmarried should never marry. 7:27
- There's no time for sex or marriage since the world will be ending soon. 7:29
- Gentiles sacrifice to devils. If you have gentile friends, then you are friends with devils.
- "The head of the woman is the man." 11:3
- If a woman refuses to cover her head in church, then her head must be shaved. 11:5-6
- Men are made in the image of God; women in the image of men. Women were created from and for men.
- God likes short hair on men and long hair on women. 11:13-15
- "I thank my God, I speak with tongues more than ye all." 14:18
- "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they
are commanded to be under obedience." 14:34
- "If they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 14:35
- "If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema." 16:22