John : Women (4)

  1. "Woman, what have I to do with thee?"
    And his most blessed mother said unto him, "I'm your fucking mother, you jerk." (Or words to that effect.) 2:4

  2. Jesus magically perceived that a Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times previously. (He could spot a divorced woman a mile away.) Since women weren't allowed to get a divorce, it was always the woman's fault and divorced women were considered outcasts. This was a great opportunity for Jesus to explain why the Mosaic marriage laws were unjust and correct them -- if he thought they were wrong, that is, which apparently he didn't.

    The story does has it's upside, though. Jewish men were not supposed to talk in public with women - especially not a divorced, Samaritan woman. And yet Jesus had an extended conversation with her, in public. It was, in fact, the longest conversation Jesus had with anyone in the gospels.

    And this divorced Samaritan woman was the first person Jesus revealed himself to as the Messiah. 4:7-18

  3. "Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act." 8:1-11

    Jesus saved a woman who was accused of adultery from being stoned to death, as required by Deuteronomy 22:22-23.

  4. Jesus tells Mary Magdalene not to touch him because he hasn't yet ascended -- as if the touch of a woman would defile him and somehow prevent him from ascending into heaven. 20:17

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