Trivia:

When Jesus comes, it'll be like childbirth
5:1-13

1 But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you.

But I don't have to tell you about the times and seasons.

2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

You know the Lord's day will come as a thief in the night.

3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.

When people are saying, "Everything's fine",

the world will be destroyed like a woman in childbirth.

And they won't escape.

4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.

But you'll be okay

That day won't surprise you like a theif.

5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.

You're the children of light.

6 Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.

So don't go to sleep.

Watch and be sober.

7 For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night.

People sleep and get drunk at night.

8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.

But we day people will be sober,

wearing the breastplate of faith and love,

with salvation as a helmet.

9 For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,

God won't hurt us with his wrath.

He's saved us through Jesus.

10 Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.

11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

12 And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you;

13 And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves.

He died for us,

and dead or alive, we'll live with him.

Prove all things, hold fast that which is good
5:14-28

14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

Help the weak and be patient with everyone.

15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

Don't be evil to those who are evil to you.

Do good to everyone.

16 Rejoice evermore.

Be happy.

17 Pray without ceasing.

Pray all the time.

18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Be thankful.

19 Quench not the Spirit.

Don't quench the spirit.

20 Despise not prophesyings.

Don't despise prophesyings.

21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

Test every belief to see if it's true or false. [1]

Hold on to what is good.

22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Stay away from anything that even appears to be evil.

23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

I pray you'll be blameless on the day Jesus returns. [2]

25 Brethren, pray for us.

Pray for us.

26 Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.

Give everyone a holy kiss.

27 I charge you by the Lord that this epistle be read unto all the holy brethren.

Read this letter to all the holy people.

28 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.

Amen.