0 Psalms : Family Values

My God ... thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. 3:7

Trivia: How many chariots does God have?

Psalms : Family Values (15)

  1. If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10
  2. "I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me."
    Women, sex, and babies are all evil to God. 51:5
  3. Wicked people are wicked from birth -- God made them that way. They tell lies immediately after birth (before they can even talk!). 58:3
  4. "Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun."
    A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus. 58:8
  5. The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Exodus 12:29-30 for the gory details. 105:29-36
  6. God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But "then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Corinthians 10:8 says 23,000) had died. (See Numbers 25:6-9 for all the gory details.) 106:29-30
  7. The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14
  8. "Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow." 109:9
  9. "Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg." 109:10
  10. "Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children." 109:12
  11. "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."
    A man should have as many children as he can. To hell with birth control. 127:3-5
  12. God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies. 135:8, 10
  13. "To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." 136:10
  14. God will send people to smash little Babylonian children against stones to punish the Babylonians for enslaving the Israelites during the Babylonian captivity. These happy ("blessed" in the ESV) children smashers are God's instruments for carrying out his vengeance. 137:8-9
  15. "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." 137:9

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