"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
If a man who looks at a woman with lust commits adultery, and the penalty for adultery is death
(Lev 20:10), then shouldn't the man (and the
woman?) be put to death? 5:27-28
"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."
These words (used in the Protestant version of "the Lord's Prayer") were probably not in the original gospel,
since they are not found in Luke's version (Luke 11:2-4) or in the oldest
manuscripts of Matthew's gospel. 6:13
"But the Pharisees said, He casteth out devils through the prince of the devils."
An interesting hypothesis, if you believe in devils, that is. Help Jesus (a false prophet/Messiah) cast out devils,
so that the people will (mistakenly) believe in him. 9:34, 12:24
"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul:
but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Notice that Jesus makes a
clear distinction between the soul and the body in this verse. Why would he do that if, as
the Governing Body of the Jehovah's Witnesses teaches, the soul is the body? 10:28
"And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Jehovah's Witnesses use these verses to justify forcing members to disfellowship (shun)
their own family. 10:34
"When the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils."
This would be a good stategy for Beelzebub. Help Jesus (a false prophet/Messiah) cast out devils, so that the people will (mistakenly) believe in him. 12:24
"An enemy hath done this." Some Christians believe that the natural
evil in the world (predators, parasites, pain, death) is due to Satan, not God. 13:28
"But when Herod's birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before
them, and pleased Herod." Is dancing a sin?14:6-8
Jesus founds the Catholic church, makes Peter the pope, and gives him the keys to the kingdom of heaven. (Protestants hate these verses.)
Of course, the gates of hell have pretty much had their way with the Catholic church since then, as the crusades, inquisition, reformation,
and priestly pedophilia testify. 16:18-19
"Two or three witnesses"
Jehovah's Witnesses use this verse
(along with Dt 19:15 and 1 Tim 5:19)
to justify their refusal to report or investigate incidents of child molestation unless two or three
JWs have witnessed the event. If witnesses do not come forward (and they are discouraged from doing
so since it would embarrass the organization), then the victim is told to be quiet about it. 18:16
"There are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb."
Is Jesus talking about homosexuals here? 19:12
"Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God." (Jesus is neither good nor God.)
Is Jesus God?19:17
There are no marriages in heaven. (Married people either don't go to heaven or they get divorced
after arriving there. Marriages aren't made in heaven; they die there.) 22:23-30
The parable of the unfair, lying employer
The kingdom of heaven is like a business that hires workers, paying each the same wage (one penny). Some work 12 hours for the penny;
others 9, 6, or 3 hours; and others for only one hour. If one of the 12-hour workers complains about it, his boss says,
"Hey, didn't you agree to work all day for a penny? What are you complaining about? From this parable, David Barton (and the Republicans)
claim that Jesus was against the minimum wage.
But the employer didn't say he'd pay each of the workers a penny; he said he'd pay them "whatsoever is right" (vv.4,7).
Is it right for one employee to be paid twelve times as much as another when both are doing the same type of work? 20:1-15
Pay your taxes. Keep state and church separate. 22:17-21
The end of the world will be signaled by wars, famines, disease, and earthquakes (6-7). And that's just
"the beginning of sorrows" (8). Next believers will be hated and killed by unbelievers (9), believers will hate and betray each other (10), false
prophets will fool people (11), iniquity will abound and love wax cold (12). But hey, if you make through all that, you'll be saved (13).
Only one more thing will happen before the end comes: the gospel will be preached throughout the world (14). Well, that and the abomination
of desolations will stand in the holy place (15), many false Christs and false prophets will show great signs and wonders (24), the sun and moon
will be darkened and the stars will fall (29), the sign of the son of Man will appear in the sky, everyone on earth will mourn, and then,
finally, the great and powerful son of Man will come in all his glory (30).
Oh, and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus' contemporaries (34).
Or maybe not. Jesus was talking about things he knew nothing about (36). (See Mark 13:32.)
"They shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory." Will Jesus' second coming be visible to all? Well, not according to the Jehovah's
Witnesses, anyway. Even though in this verse Jesus says he'll return "on the clouds of heaven with great power
and glory" and Rev 1:7 says that "every eye shall see him," The
Governing Body claims that Jesus returned invisibly in 1914 without clouds, glory, or being seen by
"Learn a parable of the fig tree."
Based on these versese, Hal Linsey's The Late,
Great Planet Earth predicted that the end of the world would occur before 1988. The fig tree represents
Israel, Israel came back to life in 1948, and Jesus said the end would come within one generation (40 years).
"Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled."
The Jehovah's Witnesses used to interpret this verse to mean that some of those who witnessed
Jesus' return in 1914 would still be alive when Armageddon happened. Now that those alive in 1914 are now pretty much dead, the
JWs have given up on this prediction. 24:34
Jesus was a false prophet, since he predicted that the end of the world will come within the lifetimes of his disciples. The world didn't end then, and
according to Ec 1:4 it never will. 24:34
"Not the angels of heaven, but my Father only"
The best and earliest Greek manuscripts say, "not the angels of heaven, neither the son, but the Father only." But apparently
it bothered the scribes that there were some things Jesus didn't know, so they fixed it by omitting the phrase, "neither the son."
"Who then is a faithful and wise servant?" For JWs,
this is the most important verse in the Bible. It is the basis of their central dogma,
that the governing body of the Jehovah's Witnesses is the "faithful and wise servant,"
or as the NWT puts it "the faithful and discrete slave." As such, the governing body
must be obeyed in all matters and all of their teachings must be accepted. Those who do
so will survive Armageddon; those who do not, will not. 24:45
"Eat; this is my body."
Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. Did he mean this literally or
figuratively? The question has divided Christians since the Reformation, but it's impossible to
tell from the passage itself. If God inspired the Bible, shouldn't he have made its interpretation
"I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine,
until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
WooHoo! There will be wine to drink in heaven. 26:29