- While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation
of vipers." 3:7
- Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
- Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old
- Don't defend yourself in court. 5:40
- "If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Fair is fair! 6:15
- Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately
after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30
- Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
- Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
- "My servant lieth at home sick."
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK,
I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God."
- "The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth." 8:12
- Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the
- Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters
- Jesus heals a paralytic man by forgiving his sins. (Paralysis is caused by sinful behavior.) 9:2-6
- Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from
the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6
- Cities that neither "receive"
the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will
be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly
did to those poor folks (see Gen 19:24).
- Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come
true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents,
and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
- Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
- "Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."
- Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to
send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
- Jesus warns us not to love our parents or children too much. We have to make sure that we always love him (who we
don't even know existed) more than our family. 10:37
- Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his
- "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." 12:36
- When Jesus' mother and brothers want to see him, Jesus rudely asks, "Who is my mother? Who are my
brothers?" So much for Jesus' family values. 12:47-49
- Jesus explains that the reason he speaks in parables is so that no one will understand him, "lest ... they ... should
understand ... and should be converted, and I should heal them." 13:10-15
- "For whosoever hath, to him shall be
given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall
be taken away even that he hath." Isn't this from the Republican Party
- Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there
shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
- Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not
washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not
killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth
father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex 21:15,
Lev 20:9, Dt 21:18-21)
So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It
sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
- "Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up." 15:13
- Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite woman's possessed daughter, saying "it is not meet to
take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs." 15:22-26
- The ever-so-kind Jesus calls the Pharisees "hypocrites, wicked, and adulterous." Why? For asking for some
evidence that Jesus is who he claims to be. 16:3-4
- "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall
If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake.
- Jesus condemns the whole world, saying "Woe unto the world because of offenses." 18:7
- Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's
better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9
- In the parable of the unforgiving servant, the king threatens to enslave a man and his entire family to pay for a debt.
This practice, which was common at the time, seems not to have bothered Jesus very much.
The parable ends with this: "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you." If you are cruel to others,
God will be cruel to you. 18:23-35
- "And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
- Rich people don't go to heaven. For as Jesus says, "It is easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
- Abandon your wife and children for Jesus and he'll give you a big reward. 19:29
- The parable of the unfair, lying employer 20:1-15
- "Jesus ... touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight." 20:34
- God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. When he sends servants to collect the rent,
the tenants beat or kill them. So he sent his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and kills
the farmers and rents the vineyard to others. 21:33-41
- "Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder."
Whoever falls on "this stone" (Jesus) will be broken, and whomever the stone falls on will be ground into powder.
- In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and
good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him
into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
- Jesus condemns the Jews for being "the children of them which killed the prophets."
- Jesus blames his the Jews (who were then living) for "all the righteous blood" from Abel to
- Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he
- God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
- The parable of the cruel and unjust master 25:14-30
- "Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents." 25:27
- Jesus will give to those who already have and take from those who have nothing. He must've been a Republican.
- The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be
"weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
- Jesus judges the nations. 25:31-46
- Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire."
- Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46
- Ointment for Jesus' head is more important than helping the poor. 25:6-11
- "His blood be on us, and on our children." This verse blames the Jews for the death of Jesus and has been used to justify their persecution for twenty centuries.