Zephaniah : Absurdity
- "The day of the LORD is at hand." 1:7
- God will punish the princes, the king's children, the merchant people, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel,
leap on the threshold, or bear silver. 1:8-11
- God doesn't have good night-vision, so he needs candles when he comes to rob people of their houses, goods, and wine.
- "The great day of the LORD is near." 1:14
- Hide from God and hope he doesn't find you. 2:1-3
- "The cormorant and the bittern shall lodge in the upper lintels of it."
A prophecy for birdwatchers. 2:14
- "Every one that passeth by her [Assyria] shall hiss, and wag his hand." 2:15
- The Singing God: "God will joy over thee with singing." 3:17