Episode 291: Saved through childbearing

1 Timothy

1 ^1-2 From Paul to Timothy.

Don’t believe fables and endless genealogies

⁴ Don't believe fables and endless genealogies.

For whom the law was made (homosexuals and mother murderers mostly)

^9-10 The law wasn't made for righteous people, but godless murderers of fathers and mothers, liars, perjurers, whoremongers, those who defile themselves with mankind, and those who steal slaves.

I delivered Hymeneus and Alexander to Satan (to teach them not to blaspheme)

¹² I thank Jesus for counting me faithful and making me a minister.

¹³ I used to be a blasphemer and persecutor, but I was forgiven, because I was an ignorant unbeliever.

²⁰ I've delivered Hymeneus and Alexander to Satan, to teach them not to blaspheme.

I'm an ordained preacher and apostle (I'm not lying about that)

2 ^1-4 Pray for everyone, because God wants everyone to be saved.

^5-6 The man Jesus is the only mediator between God and humans, who gave himself to ransom everyone.

⁷ I am an ordained preacher and apostle. (I'm not lying about that.)

Women may not teach or have authority over men (but they'll be saved by having babies)

⁸ I want men to pray everywhere.

⁹ Women should dress modestly, without braiding their hair, or wearing gold, pearls, or expensive clothing.

¹¹ They should learn in silence with full submission.

¹² I forbid them to teach or have authority over a man. They must be silent.

¹³ Because Adam was made first, then Eve.

¹⁴ And Adam wasn't deceived, Eve was. So she's to blame.

¹⁵ But women will be saved by childbearing. (If they're faithful, charitable, holy, and sober.)

A bishop must have one wife

3 ² A bishop must be blameless, sober, and have one wife.

When people no longer marry and stop eating meat, you'll know the end is near

4 ¹ When the end is near, some will reject the faith, and believe in seducing spirits and the doctrine of devils.

³ They’ll forbid marriage and become vegetarians.

⁴ But every creature that God created is good; we should eat them all.

Don't believe old wives' tales (or exercise too much)

⁷ Don't believe old wives' tales.

⁸ Exercise isn't important.

¹¹ Command and teach these things.

Widows that are widows indeed

5 ³ Honor widows that are widows indeed.

⁴ But if a widow has children or nephews, let them take care of her.

⁵ A widow indeed is desolate and prays night and day.

⁶ But if she lives in pleasure, she is the living dead.

⁸ Any man who doesn't provide for his family, has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.

⁹ A true widow must be at least sixty years old and must have been the wife of one man.

¹⁰ She must have performed many good works, raised children, lodged strangers, and washed the saints' feet.

¹¹ But don't help young widows. When they abandon Christ, they'll marry.

¹² They'll be damned for denying their first faith.

¹³ They'll become lazy, wandering about from house to house. And not just lazy - but tattlers and busybodies, saying things they shouldn't say.

¹⁴ So tell the young women to have children.

¹⁵ Because some have already turned aside after Satan.

The two (or three) witness rule

¹⁹ Don't accuse an elder of anything, unless you have two or three witnesses.

²⁰ Publicly rebuke sinners in front of everyone, to make others afraid.

Stop drinking water, drink a little wine instead (and do whatever I say)

²¹ I order you, in the name of God and Jesus, to obey all these things.

²³ Don't drink water any longer but drink a little wine for your stomach's sake.

Slaves, honor your masters (especially if they're believers)

6 ¹ Slaves, honor your masters, so the name of God and his teachings are not blasphemed.

² If your masters are believers, don't despise them but serve them.

Teach and command these things.

^3-5 Those who say otherwise are proud know-nothings with evil thoughts, perverse arguments, and corrupt minds without truth. Shun them.

The rich should be ready to distribute their wealth

⁷ We had nothing when we were born, we'll have nothing when we die.

⁸ Be content with whatever food and clothing you have.

⁹ Rich people will fall into temptation, which will often destroy them.

¹⁰ All evil comes from the love of money.

^17-18 Those who are rich should be ready to distribute their wealth to others.

Science, falsely so called

²⁰ Avoid science, falsely so called.

²¹ Amen.