Array ( [pub] => bible [type] => detail [item] => jesus-testicles ) 0 What does Jesus have written on his testicles?

What does Jesus have written on his testicles?

OK, I'm not sure about this. Jesus might not have anything written on his testicles.

But he does have something written on his thigh, at least if you believe the Book of Revelation.

And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:16

But since "thigh" is a biblical euphemism for testicles, it may be that Jesus has "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" tattooed on his testicles (or more likely, his scrotum).

Wouldn't that be cool?

I'll bet he has "King of Kings" on one side, and "Lord of Lords" on the other.

He's the type.

And it would go well with the rest of his outfit.

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns ... And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood ... And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron. Revelation 19:11–13, 15

"Thigh" is a bibliclal eumphemism for testicles.
Bible and Archaeology: Why does Abraham sit on his servant's hand?
Marginal Revolution: Naughty Bits in the Bible
Killing the Buddha: Adam's Family Jewels
GotQuestions.org: Why did oaths involve putting a hand under someone’s thigh (Genesis 24:9)?

old testament

new testament

apochrypha

name

Copyright © 1999-2026
The Skeptic's Annotated Bible

Send comments to Steve Wells
at swwells(at)gmail.com