0 5. The Table Spread : Absurdity

As for the thief, both male and female, cut off their hands. ... An exemplary punishment from Allah. 5:38

Trivia: How should thieves be punished?

5. The Table Spread : Absurdity (15)

  1. What not to eat: roadkill, blood, pigs, animals sacrificed to gods other than Allah, animals that were strangled, beat to death, jumped of a cliff, fell from the sky, or were killed by other animals. 5:3
  2. "I perfected your religion for you ... and have chosen for you as religion al-Islam." 5:3
  3. When it's time to pray and you have just used the toilet or touched a woman, be sure to wash up. If you can't find any water, just rub some dirt on yourself. 5:6
  4. Jesus has a conversation with a godly unclean spirit named "Legion." 5:8-10
  5. "O People of the Scripture! Now hath Our messenger come unto you, expounding unto you much of that which ye used to hide in the Scripture."
    Muhammad, who was illiterate and who had never read the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, offers to explain the scriptures to Christians and Jews, who he claims hide and distort the true meaning of their scriptures. 5:8-15
  6. Christians are disbelievers for believing in the divinity of Christ. 5:17
  7. The Quran repeats the silly story about Cain and Abel (though they are unnamed in the Quran). 5:27-31
  8. "Allah sent a raven scratching up the ground, to show him how to hide his brother's naked corpse." 5:31
  9. Allah has turned some Christians and Jews into apes and swine. 5:60
  10. Allah warns believers not to ask to many questions. (Honest answers will cause them to lose their faith.) 5:101
  11. Jesus made a bird out of clay that flew away when he blew on it. 5:110
  12. The disciples of Jesus were muslims! 5:111
  13. Jesus' disciples ask Jesus to send a table of food down from heaven. And he delivers! 5:112-114
  14. After agreeing to send down a table of food from heaven, Jesus warns his disciples that will catch holy hell if they ever stop believing. 5:115
  15. The Christian Trinity is the Father, Mother, and Son. 5:116

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