Mark
Introduction

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16

Contradictions
Absurdities
Injustice
Interpretation
Science and History
Cruelty and Violence
Prophecy
Intolerance
Family Values
Women
Language
Sex
Good Stuff
Homosexuality

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Absurdities in Mark

  1. "Unclean spirits" confess that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. If 1 Jn.4:2 is true, then these "unclean spirits" are of God. 1:23-24

  2. Jesus rebukes the "unclean spirit" for saying that Jesus is "the holy one of God." 1:25

  3. Jesus casts out more devils and tells them not to reveal who he is. 1:32-34

  4. More "unclean spirits" confess that Jesus is "the son of God." 1 Jn.4:2 says that all such spirits are of God. 3:11

  5. Although the disciples weren't sure about Jesus even after his alleged resurrection, the "unclean spirits" knew that he was "the son of God." But Jesus told them not to tell anyone. 3:11-12

  6. Jesus gives his apostles the power to heal sickness and "cast out devils." 3:15

  7. Jesus' friends think he is insane. 3:21

  8. The scribes think that Jesus casts out devils by the power of the p rince of devils, Beelzebub. 3:22

  9. A man possessed with "an unclean spirit" recognizes Jesus as the son of God. According to 1 Jn.4:2, 15, this man must have been "of God." 5:7

  10. Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13

  11. "A certain woman ... had an issue of blood twelve years...."
    So this is where all those phony faith-healing stories came from! Notice that the doctors made her condition worse, but she was instantly cured by faith. 5:25-29

  12. "Virtue had gone out of him."
    Jesus loses some virtue whenever sick women touch him. 5:30

  13. "Thy faith hath made thee whole." If you have enough faith, you will never get sick. (Illness is caused by sin and lack of faith. Medical science is unnecessary.) 5:34

  14. Jesus is rejected by those who knew him the best, the people from his home town of Nazareth. 6:3

  15. "And he could do there no mighty work." 6:5

  16. Jesus sends out his apostles, two by two, to cast out "unclean spirits." 6:7

  17. "And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and healed them." 6:13

  18. There was much disagreement and confusion about Jesus' identity. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets. And some (like Herod in this verse) thought he was the risen John the Baptist, even though John had just recently died and the people must have known what he looked like. 6:14-15

  19. "An evil eye ... defile the man." 7:22-23

  20. Jesus puts his fingers in a deaf man's ears, then spits and touches the deaf man's tongue. 7:33

  21. The disciples ought to know by now where they can get enough food to feed a few thousand. After all, Jesus had just done it before (6:34-44). This "doublet" was probably the result of two oral traditions of the same event. 8:4

  22. Jesus spits on a blind man's eyes. 8:23

  23. Jesus' spit did not completely cure the blind. So Jesus tried again. He put his hands on the man's eyes and, this time, the blind man "saw every man clearly." 8:24-25

  24. There were various opinions about the identity of Jesus. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets. And many thought he was a risen John the Baptist. With credulity like that just about anyone could later be passed off as the risen Christ. 8:27-28

  25. "Get thee behind me, Satan." When Peter expressed his dismay about Jesus' coming death, Jesus said to him "Get thee behind me, Satan" -- a fine way to address his holiness, the first pope! 8:33

  26. Jesus heals a boy with "a dumb spirit" by saying, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." (Sounds like a script from Monty Python, doesn't it?) But how could a deaf spirit hear the words spoken to it? And how could a dumb spirit cry out? 9:17, 25-26

  27. "All things are possible to him that believeth." 9:23

  28. The disciples saw some others that they didn't know "casting out devils" in Jesus' name. (It was a popular sport back in those days.) 9:38

  29. Immortal worms: "Where their worm dieth not" 9:44, 46, 48

  30. Jesus implies that he is neither good nor God. 10:18

  31. When Jesus lists the Ten Commandments, he only mentions five -- the humanistic ones that make no mention of God. He also gives one that is not included in the so-called Ten Commandments: "defraud not." 10:19

  32. Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 10:25

  33. Jesus kills a fig tree for not bearing figs, even though it was out of season. He did this to show the world how much God hates figs. 11:13-14

  34. If you do "not doubt in your heart" you can cast a mountain into the sea (or kill a fig tree, or whatever). 11:23-24

  35. "The beginnings of sorrows."
    The end of the world will be marked with wars, famines, and earthquakes. (Thank God for that helpful hint!) 13:8

  36. "In those days ... the moon shall not give her light, and the stars of heaven shall fall." Of course this is nonsense. The billions of stars will never fall to earth and the moon does not produce its own light. 13:24-25

  37. Jesus says that heaven won't last forever. 13:31

  38. There are some things that Jesus doesn't know -- like when the end of the world will come. 13:32

  39. Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. 14:22-24

  40. One of the followers of Jesus was a young, nearly naked man who dropped his linen cloth and "fled from them naked" when the priests came to arrest Jesus. 14:51-52

  41. "He is risen."
    Jesus came back to life after being dead for a while. 16:6

  42. "After that he appeared in another form."
    Jesus transformed himself into a different form, appearing as a completely different person. (Maybe the disciples saw another person and assumed it was Jesus.) 16:12

  43. The true followers of Christ routinely perform the following tricks: 1) cast out devils, 2)speak in tongues, 3) take up serpents, 4) drink poisons without harm, and 5) cure the sick by touching them. 16:17-18