1 Kings
Introduction

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22

Contradictions
Cruelty and Violence
Injustice
Absurdities
Family Values
Intolerance
Language
Women
Interpretation
Homosexuality
Science and History
Sex
Prophecy
Good Stuff

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Absurdity in 1 Kings

1. When Solomon was annointed king the people sang and shouted so loudly that it caused an earthquake! 1:39-40

2. God grants Solomon's' request and makes him the wisest of all men. (He was wiser even than Jesus.) He also promises to "lengthen Solomon's days" if he will only "walk in my ways, ... as thy father David did walk." But alas, it was only a dream. 3:12-15

3. How could Solomon be "wiser than all men" and yet have his heart "turned away ... after other gods?" (1 Kg.11:4) 4:29-31

4. The house that "Solomon built for the Lord" was tiny compared to the one he built for himself. According to 7:1-2 , God's house had less than one-quarter the floor space of Solomon's. 6:2, 7:1-2

5. When the priests brought the ark into the temple, a "cloud filled the house of the LORD So that the priests" could no see. 8:10-11

6. God creates droughts by causing "heaven to shut up" as a punishment for sin. 8:35

7. When dedicating the temple, Solomon kills 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. 8:63

8. "King Solomon loved many strange women. And he had 700 wives and 300 concubines." 11:3

9. The wisest man that ever lived (1 Kg.4:31) was misled by his wives into worshipping other gods. 11:4, 15:3

10. Solomon (the wisest man that ever lived) worshipped many gods, including Ashtoreth, Micom, Chemosh, and Molech. 11:5-7

11. Joab (David's captain) spent six months killing every male in Edom. Yet a few years later Edom revolted. (2 Kg.8:22) 11:15

12. "I [king Rehoboam] will chastise you with scorpions." 12:11, 14

13. Ever the playful spirit, God withers, and then restores, the hand of king Jeroboam. 13:4

14. There were these two prophets. The first prophet lied to the second. To the punish the second for believing the first's lie, God sends a lion to kill him. Get it? 13:11-24

15. God kills everyone "that pisseth against the wall." 14:10, 16:11, 21:21

16. Did Abijam marry his own mother?
    Since Asa's father was Abijam and they had the same mother (Maachah), Abijam was both father and brother to Asa. 15:9-10

17. "Asa did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, As did David his father." 15:11

18. Ravens bring Elijah bread and flesh for breakfast and dinner. 17:6

19. Elijah resurrects the widow's son. 17:22

20. "The fire of the Lord fell, and consumed ... stones." 18:38

21. Elijah went forty days on the strength of two meals. 19:7-8

22. God passes by and causes a great wind, earthquake, fire, and a little voice. (God was in the little voice.) 19:11-12

23. God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites hands, and 100,000 were killed in one day. Of those that escaped, 27,000 were crushed by a falling wall. (It was a really big wall.) 20:28-30

24. There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor, "kill me." But the neighbor refused. So God sent a lion to devour him. 20:35

25. God's dog food. 21:19, 22:23