Jesus is the Archangel Michael

This is one of the strangest beliefs that you'll hear at the Kingdom Hall. Where does it come from, you ask? Why from the bible, of course! Here's how.

In 1 Thessalonians 4:16 the bible says Jesus will return to earth with "the voice of the archangel." And Jude 9 talks about "Michael the Archangel." Now these are the only two times that the bible mentions "archangel". Therefore, Jesus must be the Archangel Michael.

Can't argue with that, now can you?

But I think the bible equally supports the idea that Jesus is Elvis Presley. To see this, notice again that Jesus is said to have the voice of an angel (1 Th.4:16) and that he was sometimes referred to as "king" (see Mt.27:37 and Rev.19:16 for example). Now, as everyone knows, Elvis was often called "the king" and he had the voice of an angel -- just like Jesus! Therefore, Jesus must be Elvis Presley.

So now I'm confused. Is Jesus Elvis or the archangel Michael?