Episode 57: The three Nephite disciples who will never die

3 Nephi 27-30

Jesus names the church after himself

27 ^1-2 One day, as Jesus's Nephite disciples were united in mighty prayer and fasting, Jesus showed himself. He said to them, "You have one free wish. What'll it be?"

^3-33 They said they'd like Jesus to name their new church for them. Jesus said, “Christ! Is that what you guys have been fighting about? Haven't you read the scriptures that say you should name it after me? It's all about me. Me. Me. Me. Me. If you name your church after me, believe in me, obey me, and love me, you'll be saved; if not, you'll go to hell. (Most people, by the way, are going to hell.)”

The three Nephite disciples who will never die

28 ¹ After telling his disciples to name the church after him, he asked each one if they had one more wish. Is there anything they'd like him to do for them when he gets back to heaven?

² Nine of the disciples answered in unison, saying, "We'd like to live a nice long life and then go to heaven after we die."

³ Jesus said, "Thanks for asking for this. I'll see to it that each of you will die when your 72 years old and then you'll go to heaven."

^4-5 Then Jesus asked the other three disciples what they'd like him to do when he gets back to heaven. But the three disciples were afraid to tell Jesus what they wanted.

^6-11 But Jesus said that he knew what they wanted. They want to live forever, just like John, his beloved, wanted before Jesus was crucified by the Jews. Jesus told them that he would grant their request and make them live forever.

¹² Just before taking off for heaven, Jesus touched each of the disciples with his finger, except for the three that were to live forever.

^13-18 Then the heavens opened and Jesus, along with the three untouched disciples, went to heaven. During all this, the three disciples saw and heard unspeakable things, and didn't know whether they were in or out of their bodies. The three later came back to earth, preaching, baptizing, and filling people up with the Holy Ghost.

^19-22 Nothing can stop the three immortal disciples. Prisons can't hold them, fire can't burn them, and wild animals can't harm them.

^24-32 And that's all Mormon's going to say about that. He was going to tell us the name of the three immortal disciples, but the Lord wouldn't let him. He's seen them, though. And they'll be wandering for centuries among the Gentiles and the Jews, but they won't recognize them. But if you pray hard enough, they'll show themselves to you.

^34-35 But woe be to those who won't listen to Jesus. It would have been better for them if they had not been born.

When God sees fit he'll reveal the Book of Mormon

29 ^1-9 God will someday (when he sees fit) reveal the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith, and woe to whomever doesn't accept and believe his latter-day revelation!

Hey all you Gentiles, convert and become Mormons

30 ^1-2 Believe the Book of Mormon and quit being so wicked. Repent of your lyings, whoredoms, secret abominations (you know what I'm talking about), idolatries, murders, priestcrafts (I'm looking at you, Catholics!), abominations, etc. Get baptized (in the Mormon church), get all filled up with the Holy Ghost, and be counted in an Israeli census (get on the LDS membership list).