God's Killings in The Apocrypha
The books in the Apocrypha (aka the Deuterocanonical books) add another twenty killings to God's list. The first three involve two beautiful women: Susanna and Judith. The rest are told in the Books of the Machabees.
The story of Susanna includes what is arguably the only justified killing in the Bible. The bad guys were guilty and deserved to be punished, though the trial seems less than fair and the punishment a bit excessive.
The book of Judith confirms what we already knew from the story of Jael in Judges: it is a most blessed thing for a woman to kill a man while he sleeps.
First and Second Machabees present a series of seventeen God-assisted killings, any one of which, if true, would clearly show that God, whatever else he might be, is not good.
Here are the killings:
- Oh! Susanna
- Judith is blessed among all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head)
- The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls
- Mathathias's double murder
- Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners, circumcise the the uncircumcised, and yield not the horn to the sinner
- God killed Andronichus (that sacrilegious wretch)
- A Jewish mob kills Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow
- God helps Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked
- Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias's soldiers
- The Hanukkah killings
- The Machabees brothers slaughter the heathens
- Nicanor's Army: The Almighty being their helper, they slew above nine thousand men
- Jonathan and Simon destroy the wicked out of Israel
- Five heavenly horsemen cast darts and fireballs at the enemy
- God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease
- Idumeans, traitors, and Jews in two towers
- Nicanor's head: A manifest sign of the help of God
- Aliens at Cades
- John burns to death 2000 in the tower of Azotus
- God sent wasps to slowly kill people
