Zechariah
Introduction

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14


Injustice
Cruelty and Violence
Absurdities
Intolerance
Prophecy
Contradictions
Women
Good Stuff
Family Values
Interpretation
Science and History

Zechariah: Absurdity

  1. Because I know you'll want to know the year, month, and day that "the word of the LORD" repeatedly comes "unto Zechariah, the son of Berechiah, the son of Iddo the prophet." 1:1, 7, 7:1

  2. Zechariah sees a man riding on a red horse and carries on an extended, multi-way conversation with an angel, a man in a myrtle tree, some horses of different colors, and God. 1:8-15

  3. Zechariah sees four horns that are sawed off by four carpenters. 1:18-21

  4. Next Zechariah sees a man with a measuring line in his hand, who told him he was going to measure Jerusalem. Then an angel stopped by to chat, and finally God shows up and says he'll build a wall of fire around Jerusalem. and he'll be the glory inside. 2:1-5

  5. Zechariah sees Joshua in filthy clothes standing next to Satan, hanging out with God and an angel. The angel said to take off Joshua's dirty clothes and Zechariah said to put a miter on his head. So that's what they did. 3:1-5

  6. God said he would bring forth his servant BRANCH because the stone that God laid before Joshua had seven eyes. And anyway, someday people will call their neighbors under fig trees. 3:7-10

  7. The angel wakes up Zechariah and shows him a candlestick with a bowl on top, seven lamps on top of the bowl, and seven pipes on the top of the lamps, with two olive trees next to the bowls. 4:1-3

  8. Someday there will be a great talking mountain that will become a plain that will bring forth a headstone that will scream "Grace, grace unto it." 4:7

  9. God has seven eyes that "run to and fro through the whole earth." 4:10

  10. Zechariah asks about the two olive trees next to the candlesticks, and about the golden pipes, and the golden oil. The angel says they are they are the anointed ones that stand next to God. 4:11-14

  11. Zechariah sees a 30 foot flying scroll that burns down the houses of thieves and liars. 5:1-4

  12. Two women with stork-like wings fly off with an ephah to the land of Shinar. 5:9-11

  13. Zechariah sees four horses of different colors running to and fro between mountains of brass. They are the four spirits of the heavens. 6:1-7

  14. The angel shows Zechariah a man named "BRANCH" who will build the temple of the Lord and bear the glory. 6:12-13

  15. Zechariah asks all the important questions. Should we weep alone in the fifth month, as he has for so many years? How about the seventh month for seventy years? And should we eat and drink for ourselves or for others? 7:3-6

  16. "I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury." 8:2

  17. "The fast of the fourth month, and the fast of the fifth, and the fast of the seventh, and the fast of the tenth, shall be ... feasts." 8:19

  18. "Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... ten men ... shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew." 8:23

  19. "The burden of the word of the LORD ... shall be the rest thereof." 9:1

  20. "And a bastard shall dwell in Ashdod." 9:6

  21. "I will take away his blood out of his mouth, and his abominations from between his teeth." 9:7

  22. Someday we'll see God flying over us with his lightning-like arrows. He'll be blowing his trumpet and sending whirlwinds down south. 9:14

  23. "The LORD of hosts shall defend them; and they shall devour ...they shall drink, and make a noise as through wine." 9:15

  24. "Mine [God's] anger was kindled against the shepherds, and I punished the goats." 10:3

  25. "I [God] will hiss for them." 10:8

  26. God is strangely preoccupied with burning cedar, fir, and oak trees. "Howl, fir tree ... Howl, ye oaks!" 11:1-2

  27. God named two sticks: "Beauty" and "Bands". 11:7

  28. God "cut off" three shepherds in one month. God's soul and the soul of the shepherds loath one another. 11:8

  29. God cut his stick named "Beauty" into two pieces. 11:10

  30. Then God cut his other stick (the one he named "Bands") into two pieces. 11:14

  31. God plans to expel the prophets and unclean spirits. Sounds like a good plan to me. 13:2

  32. "The prophets shall be ashamed every one of his vision." 13:4

  33. God will "go forth and fight" for Jerusalem with "his feet" on the mount of Olives. (After he forces all the nations of the world to fight against Jerusalem.) 14:3

  34. On the day of the Lord, the mount of Olives will be split in two and half the mountain will be removed. 14:4

  35. Somday there will be a day that will have neither day nor night with a bright sunny evening. 14:7

  36. "Living waters shall go out from Jerusalem; half of them toward the former sea, and half of them toward the hinder sea: in summer and in winter shall it be." 14:8

  37. "In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD." 14:20

  38. Every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts." 14:21


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