Romans: Absurdity

  1. Atheists have dark and foolish hearts. 1:21
  2. God will judge the secrets of men using Paul's gospel. 2:16
  3. "If thou be a breaker of the law, thy circumcision is made uncircumcision."
    If you are circumcised and you break the law, your foreskin will grow back. 2:25
  4. Paul asks the very good question: "Is there unrighteousness who taketh vengeance [upon innocent people]?" The obvious answer to this is, yes. Paul then quickly adds, "I speak as a man." What else could he speak as? A donkey or a god, perhaps? 3:5
  5. Paul says that Abraham needed God's help to father Isaac when he was 100 years old. But Abraham, when he was even older, managed to father six more children with a new wife without any divine assistance (Gen 21:2, 25:1-2). 4:19
  6. The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim. 5:9
  7. "If ... we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son", then God is truly a monster. 5:10
  8. God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim. 5:12
  9. God gave the law so "that the offence might abound." 5:20
  10. There is nothing good about Paul. 7:18
  11. "They that are in the flesh cannot please God." 8:8
  12. If Christ be in you, the body is dead. 8:10
  13. God intercedes with God by talking to, and sometimes even arguing with, himself. 8:27
  14. "All things work together for good to them that love God."
    One of the greatest and most absurd lies in all of scripture. 8:28
  15. If you are a child of the flesh, you are not the seed of God. Whatever that might be. 9:8
  16. Paul says that everyone, even in his day, had the gospel preached to them. Even the Native Americans, Asians, Pacific Islanders? 10:18
  17. "Salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them [the Jews] to jealousy." 11:11
  18. "This is my covenant unto them, [the Jews] when I shall take away their sins."
    Someday God will take away all Jewish sins. 11:27
  19. "As concerning the gospel, they are enemies for your sakes: but as touching the election, they are beloved for the father's sakes."
    Jews are enemies to Christians, but God loves them for their ancestors' sake. 11:28
  20. Gentiles used to be unbelievers, but now the Jews are the unbelievers and God saves gentiles through Jewish unbelief. It's all a part of God's plan. 11:30
  21. Non-believing Jews will obtain mercy through the mercy of believers. 11:31
  22. "God hath concluded them [the Jews] all in unbelief, that he might have mercy upon all." 11:32
  23. "Rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil."
    If you behave yourself, no king or government will mistreat you. 13:3
  24. It is wrong to borrow money. 13:8
  25. "If there be any other commandment...."
    Paul tries to list the Ten Commandments, but he only came up with five (the good secular humanist ones). Oh well, Jesus couldn't list them all either. (Mt 19:17-19) 13:9
  26. Only wimps are vegetarians. 14:2