SAB, Absurdity in Proverbs

Proverbs
Introduction

"Lean not unto thine own understanding." Don't try to understand things; just accept whatever the bible and your religious leaders tell you. 3:5
If you give money to God, he will make you rich and you'll have lots of wine. 3:9-10
God never allows good people to go hungry or the wicked to become wealthy. 10:3
Bad things only happen to bad people. 12:21
How to tell the good from the bad: Good people are the ones who get plenty to eat, and wicked are the ones who go hungry. 13:25
"The eyes of the Lord are in every place." 15:3
"The hoary head [gray hair] is a crown of glory." 16:31
All games of chance (gambling) are controlled by God. 16:33
"The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly." 20:27
"The beauty of old men is the grey head." 20:29
"The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." 20:30
Those who are humble and fear God will live long and prosper. 22:4
Don't eat dinner with a person who has an "evil eye." 23:6
"To have respect of persons is not good." (Treat everyone with disrespect.) 28:21
"Yea, my reins shall rejoice."
("Reins" is the Bible's word for kidneys.) 23:16
If you are greedy then you must have an "evil eye." 28:22
"Every word of God is pure. See Ezek.23:20 and Mal.2:3 for just two examples of the "pure word of God." 30:5
One of the four "wonderful" things is "the way of a man with a maid." 30:18-19
"The wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood." 30:33