Luke: Prophecy

  1. Jesus misquotes Deuteronomy by adding "only" to Dt.6:13. 4:8
  2. "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me."
    These words were spoken by Isaiah and referred to Isaiah. They were not a prophecy about a future prophet, as Jesus claims here, where he supposedly read these verses in the synagogue while applying them to himself. 4:16-20
  3. Jesus falsely predicts that some of his listeners would live to see him return and establish the kingdom of God. 9:27
  4. Jesus prophesies that families will be divided because of him and his teachings. Sadly, this is one prophecy that has been fulfilled. 12:52-53
  5. There will be nothing subtle about Jesus' return. It will be like lightning that flashes from one end of the heaven to the other. Like the Wicked Witch of the West writing "Surrender Dorothy" in the sky. Like that. 17:24
  6. Before the end of the world there will be many false Christs that claim the end of the world is near (Don't believe them) (8), there will be "wars and commotions" (but ignore that) (9), along with earthquakes, famines, pestilences, and "fearful sights" and "great signs from heaven" (11).

    Believers will be arrested and persecuted by the Jews, who will throw them in prison (12), friends and family will betray each other and some will be put to death (16), and believers will be hated by everyone (17). But don't worry. Not a single hair on your head will be hurt (even if you are killed) (18).

    When you see armies around Jerusalem, then you'll know desolation is near (20). Then it's time to head for the hills. Unless you're a pregnant or nursing women, that is. (23) Then you're just fucked. Too bad for you.

    God's wrath will be on everyone, with dead bodies all over the place, Jerusalem will be trodden on by Gentiles until "the times of the Gentiles be fulfilled." (24) There will be signs in the sun, moon, and stars, with lots of waves in the sea. (25)

    Everyone will be afraid of everything (26) and then they'll see the Son of Man coming in all his glory. (27)

    Oh, and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus' contemporaries (32). 21:8-27

  7. Jesus says that all that he describes (his return, signs in the sun, moon, and stars, etc.) will occur within the within the lifetime of his listeners. 21:32
  8. Jesus claims that his suffering and death were a fulfillment of prophecy. But there is no such prophecy in the Old Testament. 24:44, 46