"In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. ... Thy husband ... shall rule over thee."
God punishes Eve, and all women after her, with the pains of childbirth and subjection to
men. 3:16
God likes Abel's dead animals better than Cain's fruits and vegetables. Why? Well, no
reason is given, but it probably has something to do with the amount of pain, blood, and gore
involved. 4:3-5
Lamech kills a man and claims that since Cain's murderer would be punished
sevenfold, whoever murders him will be punished seventy-seven fold. That sounds fair. 4:23-24
"I will destroy ... both man and beast."
God is angry. He decides to destroy all humans, beasts, creeping things, fowls, and "all
flesh wherein there is breath of life." He plans to drown them all.
6:7, 17
"Every living substance that I have made will I destroy."
God repeats his intention to kill "every living substance ... from off the face of the earth."
But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they done to deserve his wrath? It
seems God never gets his fill of tormenting animals. 7:4
"All flesh died that moved upon the earth."
God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears -- all
creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23
"Into your hand are they (the animals) delivered." God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever
they please with them. This verse has been used by bible believers to justify all kinds of cruelty to
animals and environmental destruction. 9:2
"Noah ... drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent."
The "just and righteous" Noah (6:9, 7:1) plants a vineyard, gets drunk, and lies
around naked in his tent. His son, Ham, happens to see his father in this condition. When Noah
sobers up and hears "what his young son had done unto him" (what did he do besides look at
him?), he curses not Ham, who "saw the nakedness of his father," but Ham's son, Canaan. "A
servant of servants shall he [Canaan] be unto his brethren." This is a typical case of biblical
justice, and is one of many Bible passages that have been used to justify slavery. 9:20-25
"I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee."
God will beless you if you bless Abraham and curse you if you curse Abraham. Fuck Abraham.
God sends a plague on the Pharaoh and his household because the Pharaoh believed
Abram's lie. 12:17
Hagar conceives, making Sarai jealous. Abram tells Sarai to do to Hagar whatever she
wants. "And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled." 16:6
The angel tells Hagar to return and submit to her abusive owner, Sarai. 16:8-9
God gives Abraham and his descendants all of the land of Canaan "forever". This
promise is still used to justify the unending battles over the land in the
Middle East. 13:14-15, 17:8
God tells Abram that all males must be circumcised, even those whom Abram
had bought with money. There isn't the slightest evidence in this passage, or in any other in the
Bible, that the biblical God disapproves of slavery. 17:12-13,
23, 27
An uncircumcised boy is to be abandoned by his parents and community. 17:14
Abraham begs God not to kill everyone in Sodom and Gomorrah. [Which is odd,
since later (Genesis 22:2-10) Abraham doesn't even question God's request that he kill his own
son.] He asks God two good questions: "Wilt thou destroy the righteous with the wicked?" and
"Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" 18:23-25
"I will not destroy it for ten's sake."
I guess God couldn't find even ten good Sodomites because he decides to kill them all in Genesis 19.
Too bad Abraham didn't ask God about the children. Why not save them? If Abraham could find 10 good children, toddlers, infants, or babies, would
God spare the city? Apparently not. God doesn't give a damn about children. 18:32
Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "virgin daughters"
instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [his daughters] as is good in your
eyes." This is the same man that is called "just" and "righteous" in 2 Peter 2:7-8.
19:8
Lot lied about his daughters being "virgins" in 19:8. But it was a "just and
righteous" lie, intended to make them more attractive to the sex-crazed mob. 19:14
God kills everyone (men, women, children, infants, newborns) in Sodom and Gomorrah
by raining "fire and brimstone from the Lord out of heaven." Well, almost everyone -- he
spares the "just and righteous" Lot and his family.19:24
Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her into a pillar of salt.
19:26
God gets angry with king Abimelech, though the king hasn't even touched Sarah. He
says to the king, "Behold, thou art but a dead man," and threatens to kill him and all of his
people. To compensate for the crime he never committed, Abimelech gives Abraham sheep,
oxen, slaves, silver, and land. Finally, after Abraham "prayed unto God," God lifts his
punishment to Abimelech, "for the Lord had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of
Abimelech, because of Sarah." 20:3-18
God "closed all the wombs" because Abimelech believed Abe's lie. 20:18
Sarah, after giving birth to Isaac, gets angry again at Hagar (see
Gen.16:5-6) and
tells Abraham to 'cast out this bondwoman and her son." God commands Abraham to
"hearken unto her voice." So Abraham abandons Hagar and Ishmael, casting them out into the
wilderness to die. 21:10-14
God orders Abraham to kill Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham shows his love for
God by his willingness to murder his son. But finally, just before Isaac's throat is slit, God
provides a goat to kill instead. 22:2-13
Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only an evil God would ask a father to do that; only a bad
father would be willing to do it. 22:10
God blessed Abraham by giving him lots of slaves. 24:35
Isaac loved Esau because Esau was a hunter and Isaac loved venison. Rebekah loved Jacob, but God hated Esau (see
Romans 9:13). No reason is given for why one son is loved while
the other is hated. But since God chose to act this way, it must have been as an example for parents to follow. Have
you decided which of your children to hate? 25:28
God blessed Isaac (like his father Abraham before him) with many slaves.
26:12-14
Jacob, with coaching from his mother, obtains Isaac's blessing by lying. God seems to
have been fooled as well. 27:19
Jacob offers to work for seven years to pay for Rachel. As it turns out, he is tricked
into having sex with her sister, Leah, instead, so he has to work for another seven years so in order
to pay for them both. 29:18-30
As part of the deal with Jacob, Zilpah and Bilhah (Laban's slaves) are handed
over to Leah and Rachel. 29:24, 29
Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, is "defiled" by a man who seems to love her dearly. Her
brothers trick all of the men of the town and kill them (after first having them all circumcised),
and then take their wives and children captive. 34:1-31
"The terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them." 35:5
"And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him."
What did Er do to elicit God's wrath? The Bible doesn't say. Maybe he picked up some sticks
on Saturday. 38:7
After God killed Er, Judah tells Onan to "go in unto they brother's wife." But "Onan
knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his brother's wife ... he
spilled it on the ground.... And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; wherefore he slew
him also." This lovely Bible story is seldom read in Sunday School, but it is the basis of many
Christian doctrines, including the condemnation of both masturbation and birth control.
38:8-10
After Judah pays Tamar for her services, he is told that she "played the harlot" and "is
with child by whoredom." When Judah hears this, he says, "Bring her forth, and let her be
burnt." 38:24
God brought a seven year, "very greivous" famine on the whole earth for no apparent reason (except maybe to make Joseph wealthy).
41:25-32, 54
Moses murders an Egyptian after making sure that no one is looking. 2:11-12
"I will ... smite Egypt with all my wonders." 3:20
Why are some people born with disabilities? Because God deliberately makes them that way. 4:11
God begins the process of "hardening Pharaoh's heart", thus making
it impossible for any of the plagues that God sends to have any beneficial effect. 4:21
(see also Ex.7:3, 13, 9:12, 10:1, 20,
27, 11:10, 14:4, 8)
God threatens to kill Pharaoh's firstborn son. 4:23
God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. 4:24-26
Moses and Aaron ask the Pharaoh to let all the Israelites go into the desert to pray for three days, or else God
will kill them all "with pestilence, or with the sword." 5:3
God will make sure that Pharaoh does not listen to Moses, so that he can kill Egyptians with his armies.
7:4
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." Who else could be so cruel and unjust? 7:5,
17
God sent flies on everyone in Egypt except for in Goshen, where the Israelites lived. 8:22
God tells Moses and Aaron to smite the river and turn it into blood. This is the first of the
famous 10 plagues of Egypt. 7:17-24
The sixth plague: boils and blains upon man and beast. 9:9-12
"For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is
none like me in all the earth." Who else but the biblical god could be so cruel? 9:14
God gave power to the Pharaoh so that he could show off his own power by killing him. 9:15-16
"Only in the land of Goshen, where the children of Israel were, was there no hail." 9:22
The seventh plague is hail. "And the hail smote throughout the land of Egypt all that was in the field, both man and
beast." 9:22-25
God wants to be remembered forever for the mass murder of little children. 10:2
These verses clearly show that the mass murder of innocent children by God was
premeditated. 11:4-6 (see 12:29-30)
God will kill the Egyptian children to show that he puts "a difference between the Egyptians and Israel."
11:7
God explains to Moses that he intends to "smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast.
12:12
After God has sufficiently hardened the Pharaoh's heart, he kills all the firstborn Egyptian children. When he was finished
"there was not a house where there was not one dead." Finally, he runs out of little babies to kill, so he slaughters the firstborn
cattle, too. 12:29-30
God encourages the Israelites to steal from the
Egyptians. 12:35-36
No stranger, foreigner, or uncircumcised person can eat the Passover. 12:43, 45, 48
"But every man's servant that is bought for money...." Once again, God shows his approval
of slavery. 12:44
To commemorate the divine massacre of the Egyptian children, Moses instructs the Israelites to "sacrifice to the
Lord all that openeth the matrix" -- all the males, that is. God has no use for dead, burnt female bodies. 13:2,
12, 15
"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour." 14:17
"And the Egyptians shall
know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his
chariots, and upon his horsemen." 14:18
If you do what God says, he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to the Egyptians).
But otherwise.... 15:26
When the people complain to Moses, he tells them they aren't complaining about him, but about God, making
them apostates and heretics, and therefore deserve severe punishment. Religious leaders have
used this tactic ever since. 16:8
After hardening Pharaoh's heart a few more times, God drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea.
14:4-28
"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour." 14:17
"And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the sea, that
the waters may come again upon the Egyptians." 14:26
"And Israel saw that great work which the LORD did upon the Egyptians." 14:31
Joshua, with God's approval, kills the Amalekites "with the edge of the sword." 17:13
"I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven." 17:14
"The Lord has sworn [God swears!] that the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation."
17:16
Any person or animal that touches Mt. Sinai shall be stoned to death or "shot through." Did Moses impose such severe
penalties because he feared that someone might see him fake his meeting with God?
19:12-13
Like the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, nobody can see God and live.
19:21
"I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth
generation." Any god that would make such a statement is worse than jealous, although that would be bad enough. He is cruel and
unjust as well. 20:5
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ... manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing
that is thy neighbour's." In the Bible, slaves (servants in the KJV) are the rightful property of
slave-owners; they are his possessions -- like an ox or an ass. 20:17
God gives instructions for killing and burning animals. He says that if we will make such "burnt offerings," he will bless
us for it. What kind of mind would be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals?
20:24
God sets down the rules regarding Hebrew slaves. You can buy one, but you must set him free on the seventh year. But if
you have "given" him a wife and she bears children, then you get to keep the wife and kids. If he refuses to leave his family when
his seven years are up, then bore a hole though his ear and keep him forever. (That sounds fair!)
21:2-6
"His master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever." 21:6
How to sell your daughter -- and what to do if she fails to please her new master.
21:7-8
A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. 21:15, 17
Slavery is approved by God, and those who steal slaves must be killed.
21:16
It's OK with God if you slowly beat your slaves to death. After all, they are your money.
21:20-21
It's okay to beat your slaves; even if they die you won't be punished,
just as long as they survive a day or two after the beating (see verses 21:20-21).
But avoid excessive damage to their eyes or teeth. Otherwise you may have to set them free.
21:26-27
Capital punishment for animals
If an ox gores someone, "then the ox shall surely be stoned." 21:28
If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner,
then "the ox shall be stoned, and his owner shall be put to death.".
21:29
If an ox gores a slave, the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave 30 shekels of silver,
and "the ox shall be stoned." 21:32
If a thief is caught and is too poor to make a complete restitution, then he is to be sold to pay for his theft.
22:3
If you "entice" an "unmarried maid" to "lie" with you, then you must marry her, unless the father refuses to give her to you,
in which case you must pay him the going price for virgins. 22:16
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Thousands of innocent women have suffered excruciating deaths because of this
verse. 22:18
"Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." Is it really necessary to kill such people? Couldn't we just
send them to counseling or something? 22:19
"He who sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed." If this commandment is obeyed,
then the four billion people who do not believe in the biblical god must be killed. 22:20
If you make God angry enough, he will kill you and your family with his own sword. 22:24
"The firstborn of thy sons thou shalt give unto me." (As a burnt offering?) 22:29
God promises to "send his fear before the Israelites" and
to kill everyone that they encounter when they enter the promised land.
23:27
Whoever puts holy oil on a stranger shall be "cut off from his people." 30:33
And whoever uses God's favorite perfume will be exiled. 30:37-38
Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. 31:14
Aaron makes a golden calf and tells the
people to take off their clothes and dance around naked. God then punishes them
mercilessly for following their divinely appointed religious leader.
32:1-35
"And the Lord repented of the evil which he though to do unto his people." But how could a good God even consider doing
evil to anyone? 32:14
Moses burned the golden calf, ground it into powder, and then forced it down the throats
of all the people. 32:20
God orders the sons of Levi (Moses, Aaron, and the other members of their tribe that were "on the Lord's side") to kill
"every man his neighbor." "And there fell of the people that day about 3000 men." 32:27-28
"Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I
blot out of my book." 32:33
But God wasn't satisfied with the slaughter of the 3000, so he killed some more people with a plague.
32:35
God says that he visits "the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children,
unto the third and fourth generation." 34:7
God drives out the pagan tribes and commands the Israelites to destroy their altars and places of worship.
34:11-14
If you can't redeem him, then just "break his neck." Hey, it's all for the glory of God. 34:20
Whoever works, or even kindles a fire, on the Sabbath "shall be put to death." 35:2-3
"The Lord spake unto Moses, saying, If a soul ... sin through ignorance ... then he shall bring for his trespass unto the LORD
a ram without blemish."
If you sin without knowing that you've done anything wrong, kill an unblemished ram for God. 5:14-15
"If a soul sin ... though he wist it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity."
If you sin against your own will, you are still guilty. 5:17
"If any of the flesh of the sacrifice of his peace offerings be eaten at all on the third day ...
it shall be an abomination, and the soul that eateth of it shall bear his iniquity."
Don't eat any of your dead sacrifcial animals on the third day after you kill them. That is an abomination to God and he will
never forgive you for it! 7:18
"But the soul that eateth of the flesh of the sacrifice of peace offerings ... having his uncleanness upon him,
even that soul shall be cut off from his people."
Don't eat any sacrificed animals while you have your uncleanness upon you. If you do, you'll be exiled. 7:20
"Moreover the soul that shall touch any unclean thing, as the uncleanness of man, or any unclean beast, or any abominable
unclean thing, and eat of the flesh of the sacrifice of peace offerings, which pertain unto the LORD, even that soul shall be cut off
from his people."
If you touch any unclean thing (like "the uncleanness of man, or any unclean beast, or any other abominable unclean thing")
while eating sacrifieced animals, you will be exiled. 7:21
"Ye shall eat no manner of fat ... for whosoever eateth the fat of the beast, of which men offer an offering made by fire unto the
LORD ... shall be cut off from his people."
Be careful what you eat during these animal sacrifices. Don't eat fat or you will be exiled. 7:23-25
"Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood ... Whatsoever soul it be that eateth any manner of blood,
even that soul shall be cut off from his people." 7:26
Two of the sons of Aaron "offered strange fire before the Lord" and "there went out fire
from the Lord, and devoured them, and they died before the Lord." 10:1-2
Moses tells Aaron that his sons were burned to death to sanctfy and glorify God. 10:3
Moses tells Aaron's cousins to drag the burned bodies out of the camp, and he warns Aaron not to mourn the death of his sons or God will
kill him too, along with everyone else. 10:4-6
If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by uncovering their heads, tearing their clothes, leaving
with holy oil on them, or by drinking "wine or strong drink", then God will kill them and send his
wrath on "all the people." 10:6-9
God will kill any priest that leaves the tabernacle. 10:7
If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by by drinking "wine or strong drink," then God will kill them and send his
wrath on "all the people." "It shall be a statute for ever." 10:9
"She shall bring a lamb ... for a burnt offering, and... a young pigeon, or dove, for a sin offering."
After a woman gives birth, a priest must kill a lamb, pigeon, or dove as a sin offering. This is because having children is sinful and God likes it when things are
killed for him. 12:6
"When ye be come into the land of Canaan ... I put the plague of leprosy in ... the land of your possession."
God "put the plague of leprosy" on the Canaanites. 14:34
God warns Aaron that he might have to burn him to death like he did his sons. (10:1-2)
16:1-2
God explains the use of scapegoats. It goes like this: Get two goats. Kill one. Wipe,
smear, and sprinkle the blood around seven times. Then take the other goat, give it the sins of all
the people, and send it off into the wilderness. 16:8-28
"Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat, and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of
Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins, putting them upon the head of the goat, and shall send him away by the
hand of a fit man into the wilderness. And the goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities." 16:21-22
"Whosoever shall commit any of these abominations ... shall be cut off from among their people." 18:29
Don't eat sacrifices on the third day or God will cut you off from among your
people. 19:6-8
If a man has sex with an engaged slave woman, scourge the woman, but
don't punish the man. (Even if he raped her?) 19:20-22
Kill anyone who "gives his seed" to Molech. If you refuse, God will cut you and your
family off. 20:2
If you refuse to kill someone who gives his seed to Molech, God set his face against you and your family.
20:4-5
Stay away from people with familiar spirits and don't "go a whoring" after them either.
20:6
"For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." Couldn't
we try spanking first? 20:9
If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11
If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law, then both must be killed.
20:12
If a man has sex with another man, kill them both. 20:13
If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!), then all three
of your must be burned to death. 20:14
If a man or woman "lie with a beast" both the person and the poor animal are to be
killed. 20:15-16
People with "familiar spirits" are to be stoned to death. But how can we be sure that a
person's spirit is too familiar? The good book doesn't say, it just says to kill them.
20:27
A priest's daughter who "plays the whore" is to be burned to death.
21:9
Handicapped people cannot approach the altar of God. They would "profane" it.
21:16-23
Anyone with a "flat nose, or any thing superfluous" must stay away from the altar of God.
21:18
A man who is unclean, or is a leper, or has a "running issue", or "whose seed goeth from
him", or who touches any dead or "creeping thing" ... "shall not eat of the holy things, until he be
clean." 22:3-5
No stranger or slave can "eat of the holy thing." 22:10, 13
"But if the priest buy any soul with his money ..." It must be OK to buy slaves; even priests
do it. 22:11
If a priest's daughter marries "a stranger" she can't eat any holy things. 22:12
Don't do any work on the day of atonement or God will destroy you.
23:29-30
A man curses and blasphemes while disputing with another man. Moses asks God what to
do about it. God says that the whole community must stone him to death. "And the children of Israel did as the Lord
and Moses commanded." 24:10-23
Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community.
24:16
"He that killeth any man shall surely be put to death." 24:17
"If a man cause a blemish in his neighbour; as he hath done, so shall it be done to him." 24:19
"Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again."
24:20
"He that killeth a man, he shall be put to death." 24:21
God's instructions for buying your brother for a slave.
25:39
God tells the Israelites to make slaves out of their neighbors and their families. The "heathens" and
"strangers" are to be their possessions forever. 25:44-46
God tells the Israelites to "chase" their enemies and make them "fall before you by the
sword." He figures five of the Israelites will be able to "chase" a hundred of their enemies, and a
hundred will be able to "put ten thousand to flight." 26:7-8
If you don't follow all of the laws in the Old Testament, God will shower you with all of the curses in the next 25 verses.
26:14-15
"I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning
ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed
in vain, for your enemies shall eat it." 26:16
"I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies." 26:17
"And if ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins."
26:18
"I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins." 26:21
"I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle." 26:22
"I ... will punish you yet (another) seven times for your sins." 26:24
"I will bring a sword upon you ... I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy."
26:25
"And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me ... then ... I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins."
26:27-28
"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." 26:29
"I will ... cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you." 26:30
"And I will bring the land into desolation". 26:32
"And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste."
26:33
"And upon them that are left alive of you I will send a faintness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies; and the sound of a
shaken leaf shall chase them; and they shall flee, as fleeing from a sword; and they shall fall when none pursueth."
26:36
"And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your
enemies." 26:37
"And ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up." 26:38
"And they that are left of you shall pine away in their iniquity in your enemies' lands; and also in the iniquities of their
fathers shall they pine away with them." 26:39
God defines the value of human life in dollars and cents. Of course, to God, females
are worth considerably less than males (50 - 60%) -- but neither are worth much.
27:3-7
All "devoted" things (both man and beast) "shall surely be put to death."
27:28-29
God shows his hospitality with the admonition: "The stranger that cometh nigh shall be put to death."
1:51, 3:10, 3:38
Two of Aaron's sons are killed by God for "offering strange fire before the Lord."
3:4
Don't touch or "go in to see when the holy things are covered." God kills people who touch or look
at covered holy things. 4:15, 20
God tells the people to expel from camp "every leper, every one that hath an issue, and whoever is defiled by the dead."
So by God's instructions, the sick are abandoned and left to suffer and die alone.
5:1-4
The Law of Jealousies. If a man suspects his wife of being unfaithful, he reports it to the priest. The priest then
makes her drink some "bitter water." If she is guilty, the water makes her thigh rot and her belly swell. If innocent, no harm
done -- the woman is free and will "conceive seed." In any case, "the man shall be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall
bear her iniquity." 5:11-31
"And the spirit of jealousy come upon him ... and she be defiled:
or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him ... and she be not defiled."
If a husband is jealous, his wife must submit to the law of jealousies whether she was "defiled" or not. 5:14
"Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest ... And the priest shall ... set her before the LORD ...
and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse." 5:15-17
"And the priest shall ... say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee ... be thou free from this bitter water
that causeth the curse." 5:19
"Then the priest
shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say
unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people,
when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell." 5:20-21
"But if ... some man have lain with thee beside thine husband ... The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people,
when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell." 5:22
"And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse." 5:24
"And when he hath made her to drink the water ... if she be defiled ... the water that causeth the curse shall ... become bitter, and her belly shall swell,
and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people." 5:27
"And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed." 5:28
"Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity." 5:31
The Israelites are God's favortite people, and the Levites are his favorites among the Israelites. 8:15-16
All firstborn Israelites, "both man and beast", belong to God. He got them the day that he killed every Egyptian firstborn
child and animal. 8:17
If you don't keep the Passover you'll be "cut off" from your people.
9:13
"And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it (He had his hearing aid on.) .... and his
anger was kindled; and the fire of the LORD burnt among them, and consumed them."
God burned the complainers alive. That'll teach them! 11:1-2
God promises to give them "flesh to eat," not for just a few days, but "for a whole month, until it come out of your
nostrils, and it be loathsome to you." Yuck. 11:20
"And while the flesh [of the quails] was yet between their teeth, ere it was chewed, the wrath of the Lord was kindled
against the people, and the Lord smote the people with a very great plague. "The Bible isn't too clear about what these poor
folks did to upset God so much; all it says is that they had "lusted." 11:33
Miriam and Aaron (Moses' brother and sister) criticize Moses for marrying an Ethiopian woman and thus breaking
the law of God. But God makes it clear that his rules
don't apply to his favorites, and he strikes Miriam with leprosy. Notice that
only Miriam is punished, though both she and Aaron complained.
12:1, 9-10
More plagues and pestilence sent by God. God repeats one of his favorite promises: "your carcasses shall
fall in this wilderness." 14:12, 29,
14:32-37
God punishes the children for the failings of their great-great grandfathers.
14:18
So Moses talked God out of killing everyone. He'll just see to it that no one over 20 years old survives the trip to Israel.
Their "carcases shall fall in the wilderness." 14:20-35
God killed the ten spies that gave a discouraging report with a plague.
14:36-37
"If any soul sin through ignorance ..." but how can someone sin through ignorance? Don't you have to know that an
action is wrong for it to be sinful? Oh well, if you do happen to sin through ignorance, you can be forgiven by God if you kill
some animals. 15:27-30
The Israelites find a man picking up sticks on the sabbath. God commands them to kill him by throwing
rocks at him. 15:32-36
Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment."
God warns everyone to get away; he's going to kill some more people. 16:20-21
"Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me ... if the LORD make ... the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all
that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit..."
Moses tells the people that if the ground opens up and swallows the rebels and their families, then you'll know that God's on his side.
16:28-30
"The earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto
Korah ... They ... went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them." 16:31-33
"And there came out a fire from the LORD, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that
offered incense." 16:35
After burning the the 250 guys that offered incense, God tells Moses to keep their censers (because they are holy) to remind everyone
not to offer incense without a license. 16:36-40
After God killed Korah, his family, and 250 innocent bystanders, the people complained saying, "ye have killed the
people of the Lord." So God, who doesn't take kindly to criticism, sends a plague on the people. And "they that died in the
plague were 14,700." 16:41-50
"Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment."
God threatens (again) to kill everyone (but his special friends, Moses and Aaron). 16:44-45
"For there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun ... they that died
in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred." 16:46-49
God threatens to kill those who murmur. To which the people reply, "Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish ....
Shall we be consumed with dying?" 17:12-13
"They shall not come nigh the vessels of the sanctuary and the altar, that neither they, nor ye also, die."
Stay away from holy things and places -- like churches. God might have to kill you if you get too close.
18:3
God shows us how to make new friends by saying : "The stranger that cometh nigh shall be put to death."
18:7
God describes once again the procedure for ritualistic animal sacrifices. such rituals must be extremely important to
God, since he makes their performance a "statute" and "covenant" forever.
18:17-19
"Neither must the children of Israel henceforth come nigh the tabernacle of the congregation, lest they bear sin, and die."
18:22
"Neither shall ye pollute the holy things of the children of Israel, lest ye die." 18:32
The purification of the unclean. These absurd rituals, cruel sacrifices, and unjust
punishments are vitally important to God. They are to be "a perpetual statute" for all humankind.
19:1-22
Moses is punished for hitting the rock with his staff (like he did before
in Ex.17:6) to get water, rather than just speaking to the rock (as
God asked him to do this time). For messing up the magic trick, Moses will never get to the
promised land. 20:8-12
"And the Lord hearkened to the voice of Israel, and delivered up the Canaanites; and they utterly destroyed them and
their cities." This verse demonstrates the power of prayer: If you ask God, he will destroy entire cities for you.
21:3
God sends "fiery serpents" to bite his chosen people, and many of them die. 21:6
God delivers the Amorites into Moses' hands. (You're in God hands with Moses.) So Moses does the usual thing,
killing everyone "until their was none left alive." 21:34-35
God says to Balaam, "If men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them."
Men come, and Balaam goes with them, just as God had commanded." And God's anger was kindled because he went" -- but he was just following God's instructions!
22:20-22
After the people "commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab," Moses has them all killed. Then God tells Moses to
hang their dead bodies up in front of him; God says that this will satisfy him. 25:1-5
When one of the Israelite men brings home a foreign woman, "Phinehas (Aaron's grandson) sees them and throws a spear "through the man .. and the woman through her belly."
This act pleases God so much that "the plague was stayed from the children of Israel." But not before
24,000 had died. 25:6-9
For impaling the interracial couple, God rewards Phinehas and his sons with the everlasting
priesthood. 25:10-13
God tells Moses how to care for his neighbors by saying: "Vex the Midianites, and smite them."
25:16-17
The ground swallow Korah and his companions and a fire consumes 250 men. 26:10
"And Nadab and Abihu died when they offered strange fire before the Lord." When you go camping avoid making any
unusual fires. 26:61
Under God's direction, Moses' army defeats the Midianites. They kill all the adult males, but take the women and
children captive. When Moses learns that they left some live, he angrily says: "Have you saved all the women alive? Kill
every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children,
that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." So they went back and did as Moses (and
presumably God) instructed, killing everyone except for the virgins. In this way they got 32,000 virgins -- Wow!
(Even God gets some of the booty -- including the virgins.) 31:1-54
God tells Moses to exterminate the residents of Canaan and destroy all of their religious symbols and possessions.
33:50-52
But if the Israelites don't kill them all, then God will make them pricks in their eyes and
thorns in their sides. And he will do unto the Israelites as he planned to do to the inhabitants of
Canaan. 33:55-56
If a person accidentally kills someone, then she should go to a city of refuge. If she can get to the city of refuge before the
"revenger of blood" (the victim's closest relative) can catch her, then she is safe, at least until the high priest dies
(I don't know what he has to do with it). But if she is caught outside the city of refuge, then the revenger of blood can kill her.
35:11-12
"The revenger of blood" must murder the murderer just as soon as he sees him. 35:19, 21
"If he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death."
35:16
"If he smite him with throwing a stone, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death."
35:17
"Or if he smite him with an hand weapon of wood, wherewith he may die, and he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death."
35:18
"The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him."
The "revenger of blood" (the victim's closest relative) must murder the murderer just as soon as he sees him. 35:19, 21
"But if the slayer shall at any time come without the border of the city of his refuge ... and the revenger of blood kill the slayer; he shall not be guilty of blood. Because he should have remained in the city of his refuge until the death of the high priest"
If the accidental killer leaves the city of refuge and is caught by the revenger of blood, then the revenger can legally kill the accidental killer.
35:26-28
"Whoso killeth any person, the murderer shall be put to death." 35:30
"The land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein, but by the blood of him that shed it." 35:33
"The hand of the LORD was against them, to destroy them from among the host, until they were consumed."
God killed all the Israelite soldiers -- slowly. It took him 38 years to kill them all, but he finally got the job done.
2:14-16
"The Lord destroyed them before them" -- the general treatment of the people who were supposedly displaced by
the Israelites. 2:21-22
"I have given into thine hand Sihon the Amorite, king of Heshbon, and his land:
begin to possess it, and contend with him in battle." 2:24
All nations shall be terrorized by the followers of Yahweh. 2:25
God hardened the heart of the king of Heshbon and so that
he could have him and all of his people killed. 2:30
At God's instructions, the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men, women, and the little ones" leaving "none to
remain." 2:33-36
The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of every
city. 3:3-6
"And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city."
3:6
Moses promises Joshua that God will massacre kings and kingdoms for him, too. 3:21
When going to war, don't be afraid. God is on your side; "he shall fight for you."
3:22
"What God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works?"
What other God can kill so many people? 3:24
God is "a consuming fire, even a jealous God." 4:24
If someone makes an image of anything (like a bird or flower) then God will destroy the entire
nation. 4:25-26
God brought the Israelites out of Egypt "by war ... and by great terrors."
4:34
God, by his own admission, is a jealous God who unjustly punishes great-great grandchildren for the failings of their
long-dead ancestors. 5:9
"Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's ... manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his
ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's." In the Bible, slaves (servants in the KJV) are the rightful property of
slave-owners; they are his possessions -- like an ox or an ass. 5:21
If you worship the wrong god, God will get jealous and kill you. 6:15
God instructs the Israelites to kill, without mercy, all the inhabitants (strangers) of the land that they
conquer. 7:2
If you do show any mercy to such strangers, "give your daughters to any of them, or "take" any of their daughters, then
you'll get God so angry that he'll "destroy thee suddenly." 7:4
God prefers the Israelites to everyone else. It's not that he's prejudiced, he just like them better.
7:6
Those who do as God says will never be infertile (neither will their cows!) and will never get sick. (God will send
infertility and diseases on the other guys.) 7:14-15
God commands his people to "consume all the people which the Lord thy God shall deliver thee; thine eye shall have
no pity on them." 7:16
God will send hornets to kill your enemies, "for the Lord thy God is among you,
a mighty God and terrible." 7:20-23
"The LORD thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy them with a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed."
7:23
"If thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods ... ye shall surely perish."
8:19-20
God is "a consuming fire" that destroys people. 9:3
After God kills those of other faiths, be sure to reject their beliefs and do not
learn about them. Otherwise God will have to kill you too. 12:30
Prophets and dreamers are to be executed if they say or dream the wrong things.
13:1-5
If your brother, son, daughter, wife, or friend tries to get you to worship another god, "thou shalt surely kill him,
thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death." 13:6-10
If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped, then destroy everyone in the city (even the cattle) and burn
it down. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16
Don't eat any dead animals that you find lying around. But it's okay to give it to strangers or
sell it to foreigners. 14:21
Kill everyone who has religious beliefs that are different from your own.
17:2-7
Anyone who will not listen to a priest or a judge must be executed.
17:12-13
False prophets are to be (you guessed it) executed. How do you know who is a false prophet? By whether or not their
predictions come true. (Watch out Jehovah's Witnesses!) 18:20
A murderer is to be killed by "the avenger of blood," which is the victim's nearest relative. "And thine eye shall not pity" them.
19:11-13
"And thine eye shall not pity. Life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
hand for hand, foot for foot." 19:21
God travels with people and fights in their wars. 20:4
God tells the Israelites to enslave the people that they conquer in war.
20:10-11
In the cities that god "delivers into thine hands" you must kill all the males (including old men, boys, and babies) with
"the edge of the sword .... But the women ... shalt thou take unto yourself."
20:13
"But of the cities ... which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that
breatheth." Kill the old men and women, the sick and the dying, the blind and the lame, pregnant mothers, nursing mothers,
infants, toddlers, and babies. 20:16
If you find a dead body and don't know the cause of death, then get all the elders together, cut off the head of a
heifer, wash your hands over its body, and say our hands have not shed this blood. (That'll do it!)
21:1-8
If you have a "stubborn and rebellious son," then you and the other men in your neighborhood "shall stone him
with stones that he die." 21:18-21
Hang on trees the bodies of those who are "accursed of God." They make nice decorations.
21:22
If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If
her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's
doorstep. 22:13-21
"If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die."
22:22
If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to
death." 22:23-24
If a man rapes an unbetrothed virgin, he must pay her father 50 shekels of silver and then marry her.
22:28-29
You can't go to church if your testicles are damaged or your penis has been cut off.
23:1
God won't let bastards attend church. Neither can the sons or daughters of bastards "even to the tenth generation."
So if you plan to attend church next Sunday be ready to prove that your genitals are intact and don't forget your birth
certificate and genealogical records for at least the last ten generations. Don't laugh. This stuff is important to God.
23:2
No Moabite will ever be allowed into the congregation of the Lord. 23:3, 6
God says not be bring any whore, sodomite, or dog into the house of the Lord. For "these things are an abomination
to the Lord." Sodomites and dogs are biblical names for homosexuals. 23:17-18
Usury is wrong except when lending to strangers. Then it's okay. 23:20
If a man marries a woman and later finds "some uncleanness in her," then he can divorce her and kick her out of his
house. If another man marries her and then dies, the first husband cannot marry her again. "For that is an abomination before
the Lord." 24:1-4
Those who capture slaves and sell them must be executed. 24:7
"Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam." (He struck her with leprosy for rightly accusing Moses of breaking
God's laws regarding marriage [Num.12:10]).
24:9
Legal disputes are settled by a judge who determines guilt or innocence. No lawyers or jury
are needed. Those found guilty will be beaten with 40 stripes. 25:1-3
If a man dies before his wife has a child, then the widow must marry her husband's brother -- whether she likes him or
not, and whether she wants to or not. 25:5
If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other, "then thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye
shall not pity her." 25:11-12
God commands the Israelites to "blot out the rembrance of Amalek from under heaven." A few hundred years later
God orders Saul to kill of the Amalekites "both man and woman, infant and suckling."
(1 Sam.15:2-3) 25:19
If you don't obey all of the laws that are given in the Old Testament, God shower you with the curses that are given
in the next 52 verses. 28:16-68
"Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field." I guess you'll be
cursed just about wherever you go. 28:16
"Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out."
28:19
"The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do,
until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly." 28:20
"The LORD shall make
the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee." 28:21
"The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies." 28:25
"And thy carcass shall be meat to
all the fowls of the air, and no man shall fray them away." 28:26
"The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and the emerods [hemorrhoids], and with the scab, and with the
itch, whereof thou canst be healed." 28:27
"The Lord will smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart." 28:28
"And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways:
and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee." 28:29
"Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her." 28:30
"Thine ox shall be slain before thine eyes ... thine ass shall be violently taken away." 28:31
Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people." 28:32
"The fruit of thy land, and all thy labours, shall a nation which thou knowest not eat up; and thou shalt be only oppressed and crushed."
28:33
You will be enslaved and driven mad in another country. 28:33-24
"The Lord will smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy
foot unto the top of thy head." 28:35
You will be ruled by other nations, forced to serve other gods, become a laughingstock among your neighbors, have
your crops destroyed by locusts, your vines eaten by worms, and have fruitless olive trees.
28:36-40
"Thou shalt begat sons and daughters, but thou shall not enjoy them; for they shall go into
captivity." 28:41
"All these curses shall come upon thee ... and upon thy seed for ever."
28:48-49
God will enslave you and destroy you with hunger, thirst, hardship,
and all kinds of deprivation. 28:48-52
"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters."
28:53
"So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his
bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave: So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his
children whom he shall eat." 28:54-55
"The tender and delicate woman" will be forced to eat her own children "that cometh out from between her
feet." 28:56-57
"If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book. Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful,
and the plagues of thy seed ...
Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will
the LORD bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed." 28:58-61
If the Jews don't follow God's laws he'll have most of them killed. 28:62
"The LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you, and to bring you to nought." 28:63
"And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the earth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods."
28:64
"The LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of
eyes, and sorrow of mind." 28:65
"And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have
none assurance of thy life." 28:66
"In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning!
for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see." 28:67
God will have you sold to your enemies -- but even they won't buy you.
28:68
If you serve the gods of other nations, "all the curses that are in
this book" will fall upon you. 29:18-20
When God gets mad -- watch out! He'll starve you to death, burn you with fire, and send vicious beasts to
devour you. He'll "destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." Not even the
helpless and innocent are spared by this psychotic God. 32:21-26
"For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall
consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the
mountains." 32:22
"I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them." 32:23
"They shall be burnt
with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I
will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of
the dust." 32:24
"The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs."
32:25
"I said, I would scatter them into corners, I would make the remembrance of them to cease from among men." 32:26
God says, "To me belongeth vengeance, and recompense ... for the day of their destruction
is at hand." 32:35
God says, "I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh."
Someone should take his sword and arrows away, at least until he's feeling better.
32:39-43
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid,
neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Donald Rumsfeld sent this verse to inspire the troops during the 2003
invasion of Iraq. 1:9
"Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you ... There shall not any man be able to stand before thee."
1:3-5)
God "magnifies" Joshua and promises to "without fail" drive out all the inhabitants of the lands through which they passed. 3:7
"And the city shall be accursed ... and all that therein, to the Lord: only Rahab the harlot shall live." God explains that
Rahab is to be spared since she hid Joshua's spies and lied to those who were searching for them (2:4-5). But why was
everyone else killed? Some of them were probably liars too. 6:17
Keep yourselves from "the accursed thing". Whatever that is. But be sure to save all the silver and gold for God!
6:18-19
"And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass,
with the edge of the sword." 6:21
After killing everyone, "they burnt the city with fire, and all that was therein." Only the valuables (silver, gold, brass,
and iron) did they keep to "put into the treasury of the house of the Lord." 6:24
Joshua says that those who try to rebuild Jericho will be accursed by God, and will have to sacrifice both their oldest
and their youngest sons in its construction. Well, Jericho still exists today, and is often considered to be the world's oldest,
continuously occupied city. 6:26
God tells Joshua to kill whoever tood "the accursed thing." 7:10-12
If you happen to see "the accursed thing," don't touch it. If you do, you, your family, and all of your animals must
be burned. 7:15
"And Joshua ... took Achan ... and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his sheep... And all of Israel
stoned them with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones." This is because Achan "took
of the accursed thing" -- whatever that means. But why would God require that Achan's sons and daughters (and even his
animals) be stoned to death along with him? The Bible doesn't say. But it does tell us that "the Lord turned from the
fierceness of his anger" when Achan, his children, and his animals were stoned to death and their dead
bodies burned. 7:24-26
"When ye have taken the city [Ai] ... ye shall set the city on fire: according to the commandment of the LORD.
8:8
"They smote them, so that they let none of them remain or escape." 8:22
"When Israel had made an end of slaying all the inhabitants of Ai in the field ... all the Israelites returned unto Ai,
and smote it with the edge of the sword." 8:24
"All that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand." 8:25
God curses the Gibeonites to be slaves of the Jews forever. 9:21-27
"And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand."
God delivers the Amorites into Joshua's hand (so he can kill them all). 10:8
"And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way."
God slaughters the Amorites and even chases them along the way. 10:10
"The LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them ... and they died."
As the Amorites try to escape, God sends down huge hailstones and kills even more of them. 10:11
In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so that Joshua can get all his killing done
before dark. 10:12-13
God tells Joshua to "pursue after your enemies and smite the hindmost of them." (Kick their butts.) Don't let any of
them escape "for the Lord your God hath delivered them into your hand." 10:19
Joshua tells his captains to "put your feet upon the necks of these kings." He says, "thus shall the Lord do to all of
your enemies." Then Joshua kills the kings and hangs them on trees. 10:24-26
"Put your feet upon the necks of these kings." 10:24
"Thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies." 10:25
"Joshua smote them, and slew them, and hanged them on five trees." 10:25
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find (including babies and little children)--
or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-32
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find (including babies and little children)--
or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-32
"Joshua ... smote it with the edge of the sword ... and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain."
10:28
"Then Joshua ... fought against Libnah: And the LORD delivered
it also ... and he smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein; he let none
remain in it." 10:29-30
"The LORD delivered Lachish into the hand of Israel, which ... smote it with the edge of the sword,
and all the souls that were therein." 10:32
"Joshua passed unto Eglon ... and smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein he utterly destroyed."
10:34-35
"Joshua went ... unto Hebron ... and smote it with the edge of the sword ... and all the cities ... and all the souls that were therein;
he left none remaining." 10:36-37
"Joshua returned ... to Debir ... And he took it ... and all the cities ... and they smote them with the edge of the sword,
and utterly destroyed all the souls that were therein; he left none remaining."10:38-39
"So Joshua ... left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded."
10:40
"All these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LORD God of Israel fought for Israel."
10:42
God delivers the Hazorites into Joshua's hand, and he knows just what to do with them: he smites them all with
(you guessed it) the edge of the sword until "there was not any left to breathe." 11:6-17
"And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them ... and they smote them, until they left them none remaining."
11:8
"Joshua ... smote the king thereof with the sword." 11:10
"And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the sword, utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe."
11:11
"And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them,
as Moses the servant of the LORD commanded." 11:12
"Every man they smote with the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed them, neither left they any to breathe."
11:14
"As the LORD commanded Moses his servant, so did Moses command Joshua, and so did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all
that the LORD commanded Moses." 11:15
"So Joshua took ... all their kings ... and smote them, and slew them." 11:16-17
"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy
them utterly." Notice that God hardens their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them. 11:20
"Joshua destroyed them utterly with their cities." 11:21
Caleb offers to give his daughter to whoever conquers the city of Debir. Caleb's nephew wins the contest
and is given his cousin for a prize. 15:16-17
"Did not Achan son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wrath fell on all the congregation of
Israel?" To find out see Joshua 7:1-26. 22:20
One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD your God, he it is that fighteth for you." 23:10
"I gave them [the Amorites] into your hand, that ye might possess their land; and I destroyed them from before you."
24:8
"I have given you a land for which ye did not labour, and cities which ye built not."
God gave the Israelites other peoples' stuff (after killing them all). 24:13
God appoints Judah to succeed Joshua. The Lord delivers his foes into his hands and
another 10,000 are slain. In the process, they capture Adonibezek and "cut off his thumbs and great toes." Nice guys.
1:2-6
The LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and they slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men."
1:4
Caleb offers to give his daughter to anyone who conquers the city of Debir. Caleb's nephew wins the contest and
is given his cousin for a prize. 1:12-13
"They slew the Canaanites that inhabited Zephath, and utterly destroyed it ... And the Lord was with Judah."
(You can tell by the number of innocent people he killed.) 1:17, 19
The Israelite spies killed everyone in Bethel, except for the man (and his family) who
showed them how to enter the city. 1:25
An angel drops by to rebuke the Israelites for being too tolerant of the religious
beliefs of the people they have been massacring. He tells them that since they didn't complete their
job (of killing everyone), God will not completely drive them out (like he promised to do). Instead
he'll keep some of them around so that the Israelites will be ensnared by their false gods.
2:1-3
God anger "was hot against Israel, and he sold them." Well, I hope he got a good price. 2:14,
4:2
God anger "was hot against Israel, and he sold them." 3:8
The spirit of the Lord comes upon Othniel and causes him to go to war. 3:10
"The children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD: and
the LORD strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel ...
So the children of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years." 3:12-14
God "delivers" more folks into the hands of his chosen people. "And they slew of Moab ... about 10,000 men
... and their escaped not a man." 3:28-29
"The Lord discomfited Sisera ... with the edge of the sword ... and there was not a man left."
4:15-16
Jael (our heroine) offers food and shelter to a traveler (Sisera, Jabin's captain), saying "turn in my Lord ...
fear not." Then after giving him a glass of milk and tucking him in, she drives a tent stake through his head. "So God
subdued on that day Jabin." 4:17-23
For murdering her guest while he slept, Jael is "blessed above women." (Hail Jael, full of grace, the Lord is
with thee. Blessed art thou among women....?) 5:24-26
"So let all thine enemies perish, O Lord." (Let them all have their temples pierced by blessed women.)
5:31
"The children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD: and
the LORD delivered them into the hand of Midian seven years."
God forces the Israelites to be slaves to the Midianites for seven years. 6:1
"The LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man."
God promises to help Gideon kill all the Midianites. 6:16
When Gideon and his water-lapping companions blow their trumpets, God forces all the enemy soldiers to kill
each other, killing 120,000. 7:22, 8:10
Two princes are killed and their heads are brought to Gideon. 7:25
For refusing to feed him and his army, Gideon swears that he'll tear the flesh off the elders of Succoth.
(And he carries out his threat in verse 16.) 8:7
Gideon says he'll destroy the tower of Peneul when he "comes again in peace." 8:9
"He took the elders of the city, and thorns of the wilderness and briers, and with them he taught the men of Succoth."
8:16
"He beat down the tower of Penuel, and slew the men of the city." 8:17
Gideon orders his son to kill two kings, but he refuses. So Gideon has to do it himself since his son isn't "man"
enough to do it. 8:20-21
Abimelech kills 70 brothers "upon one stone." (He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records.)
9:5
God sends evil spirits that cause humans to deal treacherously with each other.
9:23-24
"Thus God rendered the wickedness of Abimelech, which he did unto his
father, in slaying his seventy brethren."
Abimelech's sin wasn't against the 70 brothers that he killed but against his father (Gideon,
already dead). 9:56
"And all the evil of the men of Shechem did God render upon their heads:
and upon them came the curse of Jotham the son of Jerubbaal."
God had one thousand men and women burned to death to punish them for supporting Abimelech rather than Jotham.
9:57
God is angry at Israel so he sells them to the Philistines. He had previously sold them to the kings of
Mesopotamia (3:8) and Canaan (4:2). He's such a
shrewd businessman! 10:7
"God ... delivered Sihon and all his people into the hand of Israel, and they smote them: so Israel possessed all the land of the Amorites."
11:21
"Whomsoever the LORD our God shall drive out from before us, them will we [the Israelites]
possess." 11:24
When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah, he makes a deal with God: If God will help him kill the
Ammonites, then he (Jephthah) will offer to God as a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him.
God keeps his end of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter." But when Jephthah returns, his
nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect, his wife?). Well, a deal's a deal, so he delivers her to
God as a burnt offering -- after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains bewailing
her virginity. 11:29-39
"The LORD delivered them into his hands ... And he smote them ... even twenty cities ... with a very great slaughter."
11:32-33
42,000 Ephraimites fail the "shibboleth" test and are killed by Gideon's army. 12:6
The Israelites "did evil in the sight of the Lord," so he "delivered them into the hand of the Philistines forty years."
13:1
When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah, he makes a deal with God: If God will help him kill the
Ammonites, then he (Jephthah) will offer to God as a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him.
God keeps his end of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter." But when Jephthah returns, his
nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect, his wife?). Well, a deal's a deal, so he delivers her to
God as a burnt offering -- after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains bewailing
her virginity. 11:29-39
"Her father ... did with her according to his vow which he had vowed." 11:39
"And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men ...
and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle."
When the Spirit of the Lord came upon Samson, he killed 30 men at random and took their clothes and gave it to the guys at the
party as a prize for guessing his riddle.
(Samson might have been a decent person if he could have kept the spirit of the Lord off him.) 14:19
Samson's father-in-law gave Samson's wife away to a friend, since he thought Samson "hated" her. He suggests
that Samson take his younger daughter instead, saying the younger one's prettier anyway.
15:2
Samson decides to take revenge on the Philistines for -- what? Samson's father-in-law gave away his wife because he thought Samson "hated" her.
What did the Philistines have to do with that? 15:3
Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, and sets them on fire; the Philistines burn Samson's
ex-wife and father-in-law; and Samson smites them "hip and thigh with a great slaughter."
15:4-8
Samson, with God's help, kills himself and 3000 Philistine men and women by causing a roof to collapse,
setting an example for Bible-based terrorism. 16:27-30
After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of
perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they
"abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an
ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of
Israel. 19:22-30
God tells Phinehas to fight against the Benjamites, saying he will deliver them into his hand.
So the Israelites kill some more people for God. 20:38-41
God helps the Israelites kill 25,100 Benjamites. 20:35
The Israelites killed everyone in the city with the edge of the sword.
20:37
Another 25,000 Benjamites are killed by the God-assisted Israelites.
20:44, 46
The Israelites finish their massacre of the Benjamites by killing all the men, animals, and
everything they could find in every Benjamite city. Then they burned the cities to the ground.
(In this way God helped the Israelites make everything better after the rape and dismemberment of
the concubine.) 20:48
To find wives for the Benjamites (they were unwilling to use their own daughters), the other tribes attacked
and killed all occupants of a city except for the young virgins. These virgins were then given to the Benjamites for
wives. 21:7-23
"The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them." If God doesn't
like you, he'll send a thunderstorm your way to break your body into little pieces. 2:10
If you piss him off, God will cut off your arm, consume your eyes, grieve your heart, and kill your sons and
grandfathers. 2:31-34
God will punish Eli's descendants forever for the sins of Eli's sons. 3:12-13
God smites the people of Ashdod with hemorrhoids "in their secret parts." 5:6-12
God kills 50,070 men for looking into the ark. "And the people lamented, because the Lord had smitten many of
the people with a great slaughter." 6:19
"I make a covenant with your, that I may thrust out all your right eyes." Deals like this can only be found in the
Bible. 11:2
"And the spirit of God came upon Saul ... and he took a yoke of oxen, and hewed them in pieces, and sent them
throughout all the coast of Israel." People do the darnedest
things when the spirit of God comes upon them! 11:6-7
God delivers the Philistines into Jonathan's hand. And his very "first slaughter ... was about twenty men."
Not bad for a first slaughter. 14:12
Under God's influence, the Philistines killed each other. 14:20
But later, Saul and his army kill all of those who had not already been killed. 14:36
God orders Saul to kill all of the Amalekites: men, women, infants, sucklings, ox, sheep, camels, and asses.
Why? Because God remembers what Amalek did hundreds of years ago. 15:2-3
Saul killed everyone but Agag (the king) and the best of the animals. But still God was furious with Saul for
not killing everything as he had been told to do. He said, "it repenteth me that I have set Saul up to be king."
15:7-26
Saul is rebuked by Samuel for "doing evil in the sight of the Lord" by failing to kill all of the
Amalekites. 15:18-19
Because Saul didn't kill everyone as God commanded, God changes his mind about him
being king. 15:23-26
To please God, Samuel hacks Agag in pieces "before the Lord" [I bet God enjoyed that!] -- after Agag
pleads with him saying, "surely the bitterness of death has past." 15:32-34
After God rejects Saul for refusing to kill
indiscriminately, he sends Samuel to find another king. David is chosen and
anointed by Samuel, and "the spirit of the Lord came upon him from that
day forward." 16:13
The evil spirit from the Lord "But the spirit of the Lord
departed from Saul [since he was not murderous enough for God], and an evil
spirit from the Lord troubled him." But if God is good, then how could
he have an evil spirit? 16:14-16, 23
"The evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied." 18:10
David kills 200 Philistines and brings their foreskins to Saul to buy his first wife (Saul's daughter Michal).
Saul had only asked for 100 foreskins, but David was feeling generous. 18:25-27
And the evil spirit from the Lord was upon Saul." Poor guy, he just can't keep
away from God's damned evil spirit. 19:9
"David inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I go and smite these Philistines? And the Lord said unto David, Go,
and smite the Philistines ... So David smote them with a great slaughter."
23:2-5
David vows to kill "any that pisseth against the wall." 25:22, 34
"And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died." This was convenient for
David who then took his property and his wife, Abigail. 25:38
So David takes his second wife (Abigail) after God killed he husband (Nabal). He also, at the same time,
took another wife (#3), Abinam. In the meantime, Saul gave Michal (his daughter and David's first wife) to another
man. 25:41-44
"And David smote the land and left neither man nor woman alive." (No wonder God liked David so much!)
27:8-11
Saul visits a woman with a "familiar spirit" and she brings Samuel back from the dead. Samuel once again
explains that God is angry at Saul for not killing all of the Amalekites. He says God is going to deliver all of Israel
into the hands of the Philistines. (Since Saul refused to slaughter innocent people, God will slaughter the Israelites.
Fair is fair.) 28:8-19
David spends the day killing more of those pesky Amalekites. They are completely wiped out again. (See
1 Sam.15:7-8, 20 and 27:8-9 for the
last two times that they were exterminated.) 30:17
David tells one of his "young men" to kill the Amalekite messenger who claimed to have mercifully killed Saul
at Saul's own request. 1:15
Michal was bought by David with 200 Philistine foreskins
(1 Sam.18:25-27), then she was "given"
to Phatiel (1 Sam.25:44), and then "taken back" by David.
Poor Phatiel must have loved her dearly since he "went along weeping behind her."
3:15-16
When Joab (David's captain) kills Abner (by smiting him under the fifth rib of course), David says that he
and his kingdom are not responsible. The blame, he says, lays with Joab. So David curses Joab, his family, and their
descendants forever. Let them all be plagued with venereal diseases and leprosy, starve to death, commit suicide, or
lean on staves. (The Revised Standard Version translates "leaneth on a staff" as "holds a spindle," apparently
meaning effeminate -- real men don't spin or weave.) 3:27-29
Some of David's men kill Saul's son (by smiting him under the fifth rib, of course) and bring his head to
David, thinking that he'll be pleased. But he wasn't. David has the assassins killed, their hands and feet chopped off,
and their bodies hung up (for decorations?) over the pool in Hebron. 4:6-7
Whoever kills the lame and the blind will be David's "chief and captain." 5:8
"David ... grew great, and the LORD God of hosts was with him." 5:10
David asks God if he should kill some more Philistines. God says yes, and he'll even help. So David and
God "smote the Philistines" again. 5:19, 25
"David smote them there, and said, The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enemies before me."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 5:20
"When thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees ... then shall the LORD go out before thee, to smite the host
of the Philistines." 5:24
Uzzah tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart, and God kills him for it. I guess it was God's way of saying
Thanks. 6:6-7
David kills two thirds of the Moabites and makes the rest slaves. He also cripples the captured horses.
8:2-4
"David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men ... and the Lord preserved David
withersoever he went." 8:5-6, 14
David tells Joab (his captain) to send Bathseba's husband (Uriah) to "the forefront of the hottest battle
... that he may be smitten and die." In this way, David gets another wife. 11:15,
11:17, 11:27
God is angry at David for having Uriah killed. As a punishment, he will have David's wives raped by his
neighbor while everyone else watches. It turns out that the "neighbor" that God sends to do his
dirty work is David's own son, Absalom (16:22). 12:11-12
To punish David for having Uriah killed, God kills Bathsheba's baby boy. 12:14-18
David saws, hacks, and burns to death all the inhabitants of several cities. Maybe this is what is meant by "the
tender mercies of David" (Acts 13:34). 12:31
To punish his ten concubines for
being raped by his son, Absalom (See 16:21-22),
David refuses to ever again have sex with them and forces them to
"keep house" for the rest of their lives. 20:3
A famine is sent on David's kingdom for three years. When David asks God why, God answers: "It is for Saul,
and his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites. "So God sent a famine to punish a kingdom for something that
a former king had done. 21:1
"And the LORD wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to spoil." 23:10-12
"He teacheth my hands to war." Might as well learn from an expert. 22:35
"Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies." 22:41
David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well,
which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from
the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground.
23:15-17
God offers David a choice of punishments for having conducted the census: 1) seven years of famine (
1 Chr.21:1 says three years), 2) three months fleeing from enemies, or 3) three days
of pestilence. David can't decide, so God chooses for him and sends a pestilence, killing 70,000 men (and probably
around 200,000 women and children). 24:13
Even David can see the injustice of God's punishment (killing hundreds of thousands of people because David
took a census). He pleads with God saying, "I have sinned ... but these sheep, what have they done?"
24:17
In David's last words, he commands his son Solomon to murder Joab and Shimei. 2:1-9
Solomon has his brother (Adonijah) murdered. 2:24-25
Solomon carries out the deathbed instructions of his father David by having Joab murdered.
2:29-34
Solomon justifies the murder of Joab by saying that Joab also was a murderer, and that the
blood of Joab's victims "shall therefore return upon the head of Joab, and upon the head of his seed
for ever." 2:33
But Solomon is not done murdering yet. He has Shimei murdered -- or as Solomon put it, "The Lord shall return
thy wickedness upon thine own head." 2:44, 46
God is angry with Solomon, but decides to punish Solomon's
son rather than Solomon himself, because he liked Solomon's father (David) so darned much.
11:11-12
Joab (David's captain) spent six months killing every male in Edom. 11:16
King Josiah is prophesied to sacrifice the priests of the "high places" on their altars. And he does so in 2
Kg.23:20. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord"
(2 Kg.22:2). 13:2
Ever the playful spirit, God withers, and then restores, the hand of king
Jeroboam. 13:4
There were these two prophets. The first prophet lied to the second. To the punish the second for
believing the first's lie, God sends a lion to kill him. Get it? 13:11-24
God promises to "bring evil upon the
house of Jerobaom," saying he will "cut off" anyone "that
pisseth against the wall." Then, after he is done with them, their dead bodies will be eaten by dogs (if they are
city dwellers) or fowls (if they are country folk). 14:10-12
Asa "did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD" by expelling
homosexuals (or "sodomites", as the good book calls them). 15:12
Baasha kills "all of the house of Jeroboam" leaving none "to breath." This slaughter was done "according to the
word of the Lord." 15:29
Zimri kills everyone "that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word of the Lord."
16:11-12
When Hiel rebuilds Jericho, he lays the foundation with the body of his oldest son and sets up the gates with
his youngest son's body "according to the word of the Lord." 16:34
God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites hands, and 100,000 were killed in one day. Of those that
escaped, 27,000 were crushed by a falling wall. 20:28-30
There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor, "kill me."
But the neighbor refused. So God sent a lion to devour him. 20:35
The prophet tells king Ahab that he, and his people, shall be punished for releasing Ben-hadad: "Your life
shall go for his life, and your people for his people." 20:42
Although Naboth was set up here by Jezebel to steal his land, the text assumes that the
proper punishment for "blaspheming God and the king" is death by stoning.
21:10-13
God will "bring evil upon" Ahab and "cut off" all those "that pisseth against the wall."
21:21
Jezebel (Ahab's "strange" wife) "stirred up" Ahab to "work
wickedness in the sight of the Lord." To punish her, God will feed her dead body to the dogs. (He
also plans to feed the city folk to the dogs and country folks to the birds.)
21:23-25
Since Ahab humbles himself before the Lord, God decides not to bring evil on him; he'll bring it on Ahab's son
instead. 21:29
"And the LORD said, Who shall persuade Ahab?"
God asks for volunteer among the guys hanging out with him. He wants one of them to lie for him so that he can get Ahab kiiled.
22:19-22
God puts a "lying spirit" in the mouth of his prophets. 22:22
Jehoshaphat "did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord" and "took" the homosexuals (sodomites) "out
of the land," or as the RSV says, "he exterminated" them. 22:43, 46
Ahaziah was sick and sent messengers to Baalzebub to ask if he would recover. God was jealous of the
attention given to his competitor and tells Ahaziah that he will die for asking the wrong god.
1:4, 17
Elijah shows that he is "a man of God" by burning 102 men to death. 1:9-12
God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. 2:23-24
God instructs the Israelites, through the prophet Elisha, to implement a scorched earth policy on the
Moabites. "Strike every fortified city and every choice city, and fell every good tree and stop all springs of water,
and mar every good piece of land with stones." 3:19-25
Elisha not only can cure leprosy, he can also dish it out. Here he makes his servant (Gehazi) and all his
descendants lepers forever. 5:27
"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their own
children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold, this evil is of the
Lord." 6:28-29, 33
A man is trampled to death for disbelieving Elisha. 7:17-20
God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years. 8:1
God says that the "whole house of Ahab shall perish," and that he "will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against
the wall." 9:8
All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed, their heads put in baskets, and sent to Jezreel. He says, "Lay ye
them in two heaps ..." 10:7-8
Jehu kills all that remained of king Ahab's family. 10:11
Jehu shows off his zeal for the Lord by murdering "all that remained unto Ahab in Samaria, till he had
destroyed him according to the word of the Lord." 10:16-17
Jehu lied to the followers of Baal so that he could trap and kill them. 10:19
Jehu warns his guards saying, "If any of the men escape, he that letteth him go, his life shall be for the life of
him." 10:24
Jehu, when he finishes his animal sacrifices, orders his men to "Go in, and slay them, let none come forth. And
they smote them with the edge of the sword." 10:25
God is greatly pleased with all of Jehu's killings, saying "because thou hast done well in executing that which
is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto the house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart [Jehu murdered
them all], thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel." 10:30
The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of Baal
before the altars." 11:17-18
God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not removing the high places.
15:5
King Menahem rips up all the pregnant women in Tizzah "because they opened not to him." Does God approve
of such acts? It's impossible to tell from this passage; the mass murder is simply reported without editorial comment.
15:16
God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not the Lord," and even worse
"they knew not the manner of the God of the land." Well that'll teach them about God's manners.
17:25-26
An "angel of the Lord" kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they arose early in the morning, behold,
they were all dead corpses." I guess they all woke up and said, "Shucks, I'm dead." 19:35
God plans to "bring such evil upon
Jerusalem and Judah, that whosoever heareth of it, both his ears shall tingle."
21:12
Josiah, with God's approval, broke down the houses of the sodomites. 23:7
Josiah, apparently with God's approval, kills "all the priests of the high places" and sacrifices them to God on
their altars. Note that this is a guy who "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord"
(2 Kg.22:2). 23:20
Even though Josiah did all that God asked of him, God still punished him and all Jerusalem for the acts of his
grandfather. 23:26
God killed Er for being "evil in the sight of the Lord." 2:3
The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many slain, because the
war was from God." They did pretty well for themselves, too, in God's war, taking 250,000
sheep and 100,000 slaves. 5:18-22
But the Israelites "transgressed against the God of their fathers, and went a whoring
after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before them." So God inspired the
Assyrians to go to war with the Israelites. 5:25-26
David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well,
which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from
the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground.
11:17-19
God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling. 13:9-10
"The LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand."
God tells David to go to war with the Philistines, promising to deliver them into his hand. 14:10
"God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 14:11
"David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Philistines." 14:16
David's army "wastes the children of Ammon ... besieged Rabbah ... and destroyed it."
20:1
David tortures all the inhabitants of several cities "with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes."
20:3
God killed 70,000 mean (and their families) in a plague to punish David for having a census that God (or Satan) inspired.
21:14
God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed,
because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.)
13:15-20
In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians.
14:8-14
"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with all
adversity." 15:6
Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed. 15:13
God puts lies into the mouths of his prophets and speaks evil about people.
18:21-22
Hate the sinner -- or God will pour his wrath out on you. 19:2
God inspired Jehoram's enemies to steal his wives and children. Then
he made Jehoram so sick that his bowels fell out. 21:14-19
God told Jehu to kill everyone in the house of Ahab (and then later condemned him for
it (Hosea 1:4)). 22:7-9
Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh
into the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7
The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. So they find her and kill
her. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the city was quiet, after
that they had slain Athaliah with the sword." (Don't you just love happy endings?)
23:14-15, 21
"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces
and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17
Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another
10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces."
25:1-2, 11-12
God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21
Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children
"because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8
God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to
2 Kg.19:35 the angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who
woke the next morning to discover that they were dead.) 32:21
God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his
"wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched." 34:24-25, 28
God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the
sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving
kindness he has them all slaughtered. 36:16-17
The Ammonite and the Moabite should not come into the congregation of God for ever.
13:1
Nehemiah rebukes the men for marrying "strange wives." To punish them he "contended with them, and
cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair." 13:25-27
Vashti refuses to entertain the king's drunken guests by dancing before them. For this she is no longer to be queen,
to be replaced by someone better (prettier?). 1:12-19
Because of Vashti's disobedience, the king decrees that "all the wives shall give to their husbands honor, both the
great and the small" and "that every man should bear rule over his own house."
1:20-22
"Many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell upon them."
God's favorite way of making converts: Convert or be killed! 8:17
At Esther's request, the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 provinces from Egypt to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned
to kill Jews shall be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place on a single day.
(How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn't? Were they supposed to just kill them all and let God sort it out?
And why did they need to kill the women and children?) 8:9-11
"The Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction,
and did what they would unto those that hated them." 9:5
"In Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men." 9:6
"The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews, slew they." 9:10
Esther asks the king to kill all those who planned to kill the Jews and hang the already dead bodies of Haman's ten sons on trees.
9:12-14
"The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan." 9:15
"The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand." 9:16
God gives Satan power over all that Job possesses. 1:12
To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals
are killed. 1:14-17
God (or Satan -- it's hard to tell them apart) sends a wind that kills Job's sons and daughters.
1:18-19
God kills (or allows Satan to kill) Job's children, but Job doesn't "foolishly" blame
God. Since God was responsible, why would it be foolish to blame God? 1:22
God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react.
2:3-6
"So went Satan forth from
the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his
crown." 2:7
Because of God's cruel wager with Satan, Job curses the day he was born.
3:1-3, 11
God terrifies people by sending them nightmares while they sleep. 7:14
Does God pervert Justice? Well, if you believe the Bible he sure as hell does! 8:3
God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys
the perfect along with the wicked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges.
9:17, 22-24
Job asks God an excellent question: "Is it good unto thee that thou shouldest
oppress, that thou shouldest despise the work of thine hands?" God doesn't answer.
10:3
Speaking of God, Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his
teeth." 16:9
The bible is wrong about ostriches being cruel and inattentive parents (39:13-16). But if
they were, whose fault would it be? Why would God deprive them of the tools that
are needed to do the job
right? 39:17
All of Job's troubles were brought on by God. 42:11
After God (or Satan) kills Job's first set of
kids (1:19), he is given an even better set -- with even prettier daughters!
42:13-15
Those "that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing." (Those who are poor or hungry
just aren't seeking God enough.) 34:10
A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute
them.... Let destruction come upon him at unawares." 35:6,8
Those who trust in God and do good, will never be hungry. (Those who starve to death
didn't trust him or did bad things.) 37:3
If you delight yourself in God, he'll give you whatever you want. 37:4
God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13
The Psalmist praises God for driving out and afflicting "the heathen" with his own hand.
44:2
If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22
If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you.
52:5-7
God will send evil on the enemies of his followers. 54:5
Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and let them go down
quick into hell." 55:15
Wicked people are wicked from birth -- God made them that way. They tell lies immediately after birth
(before they can even talk!). 58:3
The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be
cut in pieces." 58:6-7
"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God.
He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's entertainment!
58:10
The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 59:5
God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8
"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10
"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god.
59:13
God divides the world into those countries that he likes and those that he doesn't.
Those he doesn't like he calls names (like "washpot") and says that he will throw his sandal on them.
60:7-8
God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash their feet "in the blood
of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." 68:21, 23
"They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee." 73:27
"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burned people
"because they believed not in God." 78:21-22
"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his
wondrous works." 78:31-34
God "cast out the heathen" and gave their lands to the Israelites. 78:55
The psalmist asks God to pour out his wrath on somebody else for a change. Why not torment some
strangers "that have not known thee?" 79:5-6
The psalmist asks God to "do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth."
83:9-18
If you don't follow God's commandments, he will beat you with a rod. 89:31-32
"They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing."
Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous. (Wicked people are skinny and hungry.) 02:12-14
The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Ex.12:29-30 for the gory details.
105:29-36
God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-swallowing, burning,
etc. 106:11-19
God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But
"then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]:
and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Cor.10:8
says 23,000) had died. (See Num.25:6-9 for all the gory details.)
106:29-30
God is offended by those who make things with their hands or invent things with their minds.
106:39
God destroys the environment to punish people for their sins. 107:33-34
The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over
him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions,
kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14
God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and
ignore you when you ask him for help. And if you seek him, you will not
find him. 1:26-28
The soul of the diligent shall be made fat."
God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are skinny and poor.) 13:4
"The wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just." 13:22
"The belly of the wicked shall want."
How to tell the good from the bad: Good people are the ones who get plenty to eat, and wicked are the
ones who go hungry. 13:25
God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4
Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18
Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29
"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18
Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your
child today? 22:15
Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You
may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to
kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank
you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14
Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3
If you don't listen to and follow the laws of Moses, then don't even try
praying, because your prayer will become an abomination. 28:9
"He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat."
So that's why there are so many fat Christians! (And starving non-Christians.)
28:25
Those who refuse to reason correctly will "be devoured with the sword." 1:20
"They declare their sin as
Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul!" The biblical god just doesn't seem to care
much for homosexuals. And he gets especially upset when "they hide it not."
3:9
God will "smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion" and "will discover their secret parts" since he
doesn't like the way they dress and walk. 3:16-17
"And ... instead of a sweet smell there
shall be stink," with people suffering from baldness and burnings, and the men killed with
swords. 3:24-25
God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws. Their
carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets." 5:24-25
God will prevent people from hearing and understanding "lest they ... convert and be healed."
6:10
If you associate or gird yourself, God will break you in pieces. 8:9
God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites. 9:17
God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm."
9:19-20
I have commanded my sanctified ones ... to destroy the whole land." God has his holy ones do
his dirty work for him. 13:3-5
On God's day he will kill sinners with great anger, wrath, and cruelty. Those who die will have their faces consumed by flames.
13:6-9
If God can find you, he will "thrust you through," smash your children "to pieces" before your eyes, and rape your wife.
He will have no mercy, but will even kill your little children. 13:15-18
God will slaughter children "for the iniquity of their fathers." 14:21
After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lions to
eat any survivors. 15:9
The God of Peace will set brother against brother and kingdom against kingdom. Then he'll make the survivors seed the
counsel of "wizards," and subject them to a "cruel lord." 19:2-4
God sends a "perverse spirit" among the Egyptians and causes them to err "as a drunken man staggereth in his vomit."
19:14
The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth, burning everyone and every living thing
alive (except maybe a few men). 24:1-6
God will have no mercy on those who don't understand him. 27:11
God will put "a bridle in the jaws of the people, causing them to err." 30:28
"And the people shall ... be burned in the fire." 33:12
God is furious at everyone and is ready to kill them all. Or as Isaiah so delicately puts it: "Their stink shall come up
out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood." 34:2-3
God makes Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba pay for Israel's sins. He says that
he likes Israel better than any other country so he's willing to sacrifice other countries for the
Israel's sake. 43:3-4
No astrologer, stargazer, or prognosticator will be able to save those that God plans to burn to death.
47:13-14
God "will do his pleasure on Babylon." (He will mercilessly slaughter the Babylonians.)
48:14
"I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with
their own blood, as with sweet wine." 49:26
"The heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a
garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner." (God plans to destroy the universe.)
51:6
Nations that do not serve Israel will perish. 60:12
"I will ... trample them in my fury; and their blood ... will stain all my raiment." (God's clothes
will get stained with the blood of humans.) 63:2-6
"O Lord, why hast thou made us to err from thy ways, and hardened our heart from thy
fear?" Good question. 63:17
Every noble human act, every act of love, courage, and kindness is "an unclean thing", "a filthy
rag" to God. 64:6
Don't eat "swine flesh" (like ham or bacon) or other "abominable things"
or God will have to kill you. 65:4, 66:17
"God's servants" will eat, drink, and be merry; everyone else will be hungry, thirsty,
and ashamed -- until God kills them, that is. 65:13-16
God will "plead with all flesh" with fire and sword, "and the slain of the Lord shall be many."
66:16
The carcasses of those killed by God will be piled high. They will rot and burn forever. And although their stench will
be revolting to humans, it will be a sweet savour unto the Lord. 66:24
"As a wife treacherously departeth from her husband ..." If a woman leaves
her husband, she is "treacherous," but a man is blameless when he "puts her away"
for no reason. 3:20
Circumcise the foreskin of your heart or God will burn you to death. 4:4
God will bring evil to entire cities, destroying them and wipe out all of their
inhabitants. 4:6-7
What was once fruitful is now barren. Birds have fled, people are gone,
towns are in ruins. All "by his (God's)
fierce anger." 4:25-28
God sends plagues and violence to try to correct people. 5:3
Those who don't follow or know God are "poor" and "foolish." 5:4
God will send lions and leopards to tear people into pieces. 5:6
God will kill those who believe and preach the wrong doctrines. 5:12-13
God again talks of bringing a foreign nation to destroy his chosen ones and their lands.
5:15-17
"I am full of the fury of the Lord; I am weary of holding it in." He's anxious
to "pour it out" on children, young men, husbands, wives, and old people.
6:11-12
God will punish men by taking away all of their property, including their wives, and
giving them to others. 6:12
God "will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their thoughts" because they refuse to do
whatever the hell he asks them to do. 6:19
God plans to kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons,
family, friends, and neighbors. God plans to kill them all after laying a stumbling block before them.
6:21
God will send soldiers from the north that will kill everyone and
have no mercy. 6:22-23
God says that there are some people that you just shouldn't bother
praying for. And if you do he won't listen anyway. 7:16
God is angered by children who gather wood, fathers who make fires,
and women that make bread for the "queen of heaven" and other gods. 7:18
God will pour out his anger on both man and beast. Not even the trees will
be spared from his wrath. And the ground itself will burn forever. 7:20
God will feed the people to the birds and the beasts, "and none shall fray
them away." 7:33
To punish the men, God will "give their wives to others." 8:10
Don't trust anyone. Not even your neighbors, family, or friends. Those who
believe differently than you are all liars and evil doers. 9:4-6
God will give the people bad food and water, and then kill them with a
sword. 9:15-16
God will kill children and young men, and the dead bodies "shall fall as dung .... and none shall
gather them." 9:21-22
"Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will punish all them which are circumcised with the uncircumcised." I
guess that'd include just about everyone -- well, all the men anyway. 9:25-26
Jeremiah prays for the destruction of people and families that don't call on God's name.
10:25
Those who don't follow the Old Testament laws are cursed by God. 11:3
God "will bring evil upon" people from which they will not be able to
escape. And if they cry out to him for help, he will not help them. 11:11
God forbids others from praying for his victims. Such prayers would go unanswered anyway, he says,
because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble." 11:14
"For the Lord of hosts ... hath pronounced evil against thee."
11:17
Jeremiah prays for vengeance upon his enemies. 11:20
God will punish the people by killing their young men in war and starving their children to
death. 11:22
Jeremiah asks God to drag away his enemies like "sheep for the slaughter."
12:3
God delivered his people "into the hand of her enemies." He "hates" his "dearly
beloved" people and plans to feed them to the birds. 12:7-9
God's sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have peace."
12:12
If any nation does not listen to God, he "will utterly pluck up and destroy that
nation." 12:17
God plans to make everyone in the kingdom drunk and then "dash the fathers and the sons
together." The merciful God of Peace vows to "not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but
destroy them." 13:13-14
God compares the destruction of Jerusalem to the rape of a woman who deserves to be raped because
she has sinned. 13:22
God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. God has decided to kill them all and he doesn't want to
be talked out of it. 14:11
God will ignore the peoples' prayers, and kill them all with war, starvation, and disease.
14:12
God will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets, as well as the prophets
themselves. 14:15-16
God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people. Even if Moses and Samuel (and
Jesus?) were to ask him to reconsider, he wouldn't. He's going to kill everybody and nobody can stop him!
15:1
God plans to do four things to his people: 1) kill them with swords, 2) tear their flesh with dogs, 3) have the birds, and 4) the beasts eat their bodies. Why will he do these terrible things? Because of
something some former king did. 15:2-4
God again threatens Jerusalem with mass destruction. Here are some of the highlights:
He will kill children, make more widows than there are grains of
sand, terrorize cities, and then kill the survivors. 15:7-9
God will have you enslaved and, if you make him mad enough, he will burn you to
death. 15:14
God tells Jeremiah not to get married or have children, because he's
going to kill everyone (mothers and daughters, fathers and sons). They all "shall die of grievous
deaths," and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried, but "shall
be as dung upon the face of the earth." For he has removed peace, "lovingkindness," and mercy
from the people. 16:1-7
God will kill children if their parents worship other gods. 16:10-11
God will enslave the people of Judah because they worshipped the wrong gods.
17:4
Jeremiah asks God to bring evil upon his enemies and to "destroy them with double destruction."
17:18
If you don't honor the Sabbath, God will burn you to death unquenchable fire.
17:27
God admits that he does evil things to people. 18:11
God will make the land desolate, "a perpetual hissing," so that "very one that passeth
thereby shall be astonished, and wag his head." 18:16
God will scatter the Israelites before their enemy. And then, on "the day of their
calamity," he'll show them his backside instead of his face. 18:17
Jeremiah asks God to kill the young men in war and the children by starvation.
18:21
God will do so much evil to the people that whoever hears of it will have their ears tingle.
19:3
God will make parents eat their own children, and friends each other.
19:7-9
God will break those who worship other gods as though they were made of clay, killing
so many that there will not be enough room to bury them all. 19:11-13
"For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will make thee a terror to thyself, and
to all thy friends: and they shall fall by the sword of their enemies, and
thine eyes shall behold it." 20:4
"O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived." 20:7
God himself will fight and kill everyone in fury "with an outstretched hand and
with a strong arm." 21:5
"I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall die of a great
pestilence." 21:6
God will deliver Zedekiah and those that survive the famine, disease, and war into Nebuchadrezzar's hand, and "he shall smite them with the edge of the sword; he shall not spare them, neither
have pity, nor have mercy. 21:7
God tells the Judeans to either surrender to the Babylonians and become their slaves or die.
"Behold, I am against thee." No kidding. 21:9-13
God will have Jeconiah's enemies kill him and his mother and then
ensure that he die without leaving any sons. 22:25-30
God promises to bring more evil upon his chosen people. 23:12
God promises to kill everyone by war, starvation, and disease. 24:10
God says he is going to punish Nebuchadnezzar and the
Babylonians for what they have done to his people -- even though God Himself is the one who made the
Babylonians attack and enslave Judah! 25:12
God will force "all the kingdoms of the world" to drink "and be
drunken". Then he'll kill "all the inhabitants of the earth" with a sword.
25:26-29
God will kill so many people that the entire earth will be covered with their dead bodies.
No one is to mourn them or even bury them; "they shall be dung upon the ground." 25:31-33
God will destroy "the peaceable habitations" and make the land desolate "because of his fierce anger."
25:37-38
Anyone who disobeys King Nebuchadnezzar will be punished "with the sword, and with the famine, and
with the pestilence, until I have consumed them by his hand." 27:8
God enslaved entire nations and forced them to serve Nebuchadnezzar, "his servant". He even
gave him all the wild animals and forced them to serve him. 27:6,
28:14
God kills Hananiah for prophesying falsely. 28:15-17
God will send his usual blessings upon his people: "the sword, the famine, and the pestilence." He "will make
them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil." 29:17-18
God will kill those who refuse listen to his prophets. 29:19
God will deliver Ahab and Zedekiah into the hands of Nebuchadrezzar "and he shall slay them
before your eyes" and Ahab will be "roasted
in the fire." 29:21-22
God will punish the children of Shemaiah for their father's false prophecy. 29:32
God punishes children for the sins of their parents. 32:18
God litters the ground "with the dead bodies of men" that he has killed in
his anger and fury. 33:5
God threatens again to send his people the sword, pestilence, and
famine, saying he'll feed their dead bodies to the fowls and beasts of the earth.
34:17-20
God is indeed the author of evil. Here he brags about bringing "all the evil" he can
think of upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem. 35:17
"The LORD thy God hath pronounced this evil upon this place." 40:2
All those who move to Egypt will die by the sword, famine, or pestilence. None "shall
escape from the evil" that comes directly from God. 42:15-18, 22
God boasts some more about "all the evil that [he] has brought." 44:2
When God pours forth his fury and his anger, entire cities are destroyed.
44:6
God is angry at the Israelites for making things with their hands and burning
incense to other gods. 44:8
"Have you forgotten ... the wickedness of your wives?" Jeremiah blames it all
on "the wickedness" of the Israelites' wives. 44:9
God's not finished with Judah. He will bring more evil upon them. Even those Jews that flee to
Egypt will not be spared. God will hunt them down and kill them all with war, famine, and disease. 44:11-13
God is going to do some really bad things to the people because the women burned incense to the "Queen of
Heaven" (Mary?). 44:15-23
"I will watch over them for evil, and not for good." 44:27
If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block before
him," then God will kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he
has done will be forgotten. 3:20
God punishes everyone in Israel with a drought and famine. 4:16-17
God will slaughter
everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third
with wars. If any somehow survive, he'll send "evil beasts" to devour
them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted."
5:11-17
God will cause the fathers to eat their sons and the sons to eat their fathers.
5:10
God will decorate the land with the bones and dead bodies of those who worship a different god.
6:4-5
God makes his presence known by killing people with famine, disease, and war. 6:7-14
God will pour out his fury on
everyone, with pity toward none. By so doing he says that
"ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth." Indeed, who would else would
behave so viciously? 7:3-9
God's is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He'll kill them all with war,
disease, and starvation. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall know that I am the Lord."
7:14-28
God promises again to slaughter everyone. He says that he will ignore them when they plead with him for mercy. 8:18
God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who will
be saved. Apparently only men are considered good enough to keep, the others (unmarked men,
"maids", little children, and women) are to be slaughtered. God says he'll "fill
the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. 9:4-10
When you fall by the sword, you'll know that he is the Lord. 11:8-12
When God kills everyone in the city, then you'll know that he is the Lord. (Who else
would be so cruel?) 12:15-16, 20
God gets mad at a wall and destroys it, along with those who worked on it.
13:14-15
God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him.
14:6-8
God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies.
14:9
When really bad things happen (like you get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get
sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you.
14:13, 15, 19, 21
God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the Lord.
15:6-7
For being such a whore, God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites and handing
them over to the Philistines. 16:17
After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once
more. 16:38-41
God will kill you for making a single mistake; all your good deeds he will ignore.
18:24
God planned to "pour out [his] fury" on the Hebrews in
Egypt for worshipping idols. But then he changed his mind, thank God. 20:7-8
God gave the Israelites "statutes that
were not good and judgments whereby they should not live." He
"polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" and
force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might
know" that he is the Lord. 20:25-26
God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and burn everyone. "And
all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it." 20:47-48
God will kill everyone -- good and bad, just and unjust. 21:3-4
God describes the various ways that he will kill people.
21:8-32
"Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the land ... for I the LORD
have spoken it." 21:32
God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger. 22:20-22
God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyone. 22:30-31
Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and
bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was
discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the
surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off"
her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death.
23:1-49
"I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest ... And they shall deal
with thee hatefully." 23:28-29
"I will do these things unto thee, because thou hast gone a whoring after the heathen ... Thou shalt be laughed to scorn and had in
derision ... thou shalt be filled with drunkenness and sorrow." 23:30-33
"The company shall
stone them with stones, and dispatch them with their swords; they shall slay
their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses with fire." 23:47
God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle
the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned." 24:3-14
God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her. 24:15-18
God will kill everyone that claps his hands or stamps his feet "against the land of Israel."
When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is the Lord. 25:6-17
God says he will destroy Tyrus. He plans to kill everyone, but he is especially looking
forward to killing all of the women. "And her daughters which are in the field shall be slain by the sword; and
they shall know that I am the LORD." 26:1-21
Now God has singled out the king of Tyre for his tirades. 28:7-10, 18-19
Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised," which is,
no doubt, a most unpleasant death. 28:10
God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he \ sends "pestilence and blood
into her streets." 28:22-23
God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt. God says he will feed
the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 29:2-5
God makes "all their loins to be at a stand." When this is achieved, God will get
out his sword and "cut off man and beast out of thee." Ouch! 29:7-9
"The day ... of the LORD is near, a cloudy day; it shall be the time of
the heathen." God plans to wipe out the heathen. When? Soon. Really soon.
30:3
God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with
the slain." God will top it off by making "the rivers dry," selling the land to
"the wicked," making "the land waste," lighting fires, and having the young men
"fall by the sword." 30:4-26
"And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I have set a fire in Egypt." (The Divine Pyromaniac)
30:8, 30:14, 30:16
God will treat Pharaoh like a whale fished out of the sea. Every bird and beast in the world
will feed upon him. 32:3-6
God will vex the hearts of many people, destroy entire nations, brandish his sword, kill animals,
and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him (just before he kills them?).
32:9-15
God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egypt.
32:13
Pharaoh and all his multitude, along with the uncircumcised, will be killed with the sword.
32:20-32
If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thing
that that person has ever done. Then God will kill him for the single mistake.
33:13
God plans some more killing by the sword, beasts, and the pestilence. 33:27-29
God will kill everyone in the cities, "and thou shalt know that I am the LORD."
35:3-4
"And I will fill his mountains with his slain men, and ye shalt know that I am the LORD."
35:6-9
God will return their own anger and hatred upon them, "and they shall know that I am the
LORD." 35:11-15
God is furious in the fire of his jealousy. 36:5-6
Someday the God of Peace will start a war between Gog and Israel. 38:16
God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send disease and make
it rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnify and sanctify himself and let
everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23
God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until
they are full and drunken. 39:4, 17-20, 28
God "will send a fire on Magog ... and the heathen shall know that I am
the Lord." 39:6-7
God hid his face from the Israelites, refusing to hear their prayers, while giving
"them into the hand of their enemies: so fell they all by the sword." 39:23-24
Nebuchadnezzar, after first trying to burn to death the three Hebrews,
now decrees that everyone who says anything against the Hebrew god "shall be cut
in pieces, and their houses shall be made a dunghill." 3:29
After going through a rather bizarre ordeal, inflicted upon him by God,
Nebuchadnezzar heaps praise upon God -- in whose eyes "all the inhabitants of
the earth are reputed as nothing." 4:34-35
King Darius, after trying to feed Daniel to the lions, orders those who accused Daniel (and their wives and children) to be cast into the lion den. "And the lions ... brake all their bones in pieces."
6:24
The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman,
Rabbah, Moab, and Judah. 1:4, 7, 10,
12, 14; 2:2,
5
God says there are three or four reasons for him to punish Moab. But he only
mentions one: "because he burned the bones of the king of Edom." So God burned Moab because
they burned some bones. 2:1
God afflicts the Israelites with "cleanness of teeth" (famine) and drought. And then he wonders why they don't turn
to him. 4:6-9
God sends the pestilence, kills young men with the sword, and makes the "stink of
your camps to come up unto your nostrils," and nearly destroys them
(ala Sodom & Gomorrah). 4:10
"Prepare to meet thy God, O Israel."
God promises to kill all the Israelites. 4:12
God tells the Israelites to seek him or he'll kill 90% of them. 5:3-4
When there is wailing and mourning, you'll know God's been there. 5:16-17
God rejects the Israelites prayers, songs, and sacrifices because they
worshipped other gods and didn't offer enough sacrifices during the Exodus (many
centuries ago). To punish them he'll make them all slaves. 5:21-27
"The Lord GOD hath sworn by himself ... I abhor the excellency of Jacob, and hate his palaces: therefore will I deliver up the city."
God swears to himself that he hates Jacob's palaces, so he will deliver up the city (and kill everyone in it). 6:8
God says, "If there remain ten men in one house, that they shall die." 6:9
"The LORD commandeth, and he will smite the great house with breaches, and the little house with clefts."
(God will destroy people's houses.) 6:11
"I will raise up against you a nation, O house of Israel,
saith the LORD the God of hosts; and they shall afflict you." 6:14
In the first of Amos' visions, God makes some grasshoppers and sends them to
devour the peoples' crops. 7:1-2
Next God sends a fire that consumes both land and sea. 7:4
God will kill the house of Jeroboam with the sword, and force the Israelites
into captivity. 7:9-11
Amos tells Amaziah that his wife will become a whore, his children will be
killed, and he'll die in a pagan country. 7:17
God tells Amos that the end has come for the people of Israel. He won't wait any longer
to kill them all. 8:2
God will kill so many people that dead bodies will lay everywhere. 8:3-14
"They shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not
find it." 8:12
God will "slay the last of them with the sword." Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of
the sea will be bitten, at God's command, by a serpent. God will set his "eyes upon
them for evil, not for good." 9:1-4
God will destroy the "the sinful kingdom" and "all the sinners" among
his people. 9:8-10
"Behold, against this family do I devise an evil." 2:3
Plucking off skin, flesh from bones, eating human flesh, flaying off skin, breaking bones,
chopping bodies in pieces, making human stew. All this and more will happen to God's favorite people. But when
they "cry unto the Lord, he will not hear them." 3:2-4
Because the leaders of the nation were corrupt, God plans to punish everyone.
3:9-12
God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces
many peoples" and give the booty to God. 4:13
"They shall waste the land of Assyria with the sword." 5:6
Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces.
5:8
"Thine hand shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries, and all thine
enemies shall be cut off." 5:9
God will "cut off" the witches and soothsayers. 5:11-12
God will destroy entire cities, and "execute vengeance in anger and fury
upon the heathen such as they have not heard." 5:14-15
God will make his people sick, hungry, and desolate. Those who
survive he will "give up to the sword." 6:13-16
The Gentiles will be made deaf, shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like
worms from fear of God and his people. 7:16-17
God will "cut off" all those who "have not sought the Lord" or who worship another god. 1:4-6
God "will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange
apparel" or "leap on the threshold." 1:8-9
God doesn't have night-vision, so he needs candles when he comes to
punish the people that say, "The LORD will not do good, neither will he do evil."
1:12
God will "bring distress upon men" so that they "walk like blind men."
He will pour out their blood like dust and "their flesh as dung." 1:17
God will kill all the inhabitants of the sea coast. 2:5
God will destroy Moab and Ammon just like he did to Sodom and Gomorrah. 2:9
God will kill the Ethiopians with his own sword. 2:12
God destroyed entire cities, killing all the inhabitants. 3:6
"All of the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy." 3:8
God hates the Edomites, and his hatred will last forever. 1:4
God continues to demand animal sacrifices. And not just any animals will do. He is insulted
when blind, lame, or sick animals are killed for him. 1:8,
13-14
Injustice in the Old Testament
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