While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation
of vipers." 3:7
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old
Don't defend yourself in court. 5:40
"If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Fair is fair! 6:15
Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately
after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
"My servant lieth at home sick."
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK,
I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God."
"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the
Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters
Jesus heals a paralytic man by forgiving his sins. (Paralysis is caused by sinful behavior.) 9:2-6
Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from
the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6
Cities that neither "receive"
the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will
be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly
did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24).
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come
true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents,
and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
"Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to
send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus warns us not to love our parents or children too much. We have to make sure that we always love him (who we
don't even know existed) more than our family. 10:37
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his
"Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." 12:36
When Jesus' mother and brothers want to see him, Jesus rudely asks, "Who is my mother? Who are my
brothers?" So much for Jesus' family values. 12:47-49
Jesus explains that the reason he speaks in parables is so that no one will understand him, "lest ... they ... should
understand ... and should be converted, and I should heal them." 13:10-15
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be
given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall
be taken away even that he hath." Isn't this from the Republican Party
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there
shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not
washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not
killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth
father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex.21:15,
So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It
sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite woman's possessed daughter, saying "it is not meet to
take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs." 15:22-26
"Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall
If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake.
Jesus condemns the whole world, saying "Woe unto the world because of offenses." 18:7
Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's
better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9
In the parable of the unforgiving servant, the king threatens to enslave a man and his entire
family to pay for a debt. This practice, which was common at the time, seems not to have bothered Jesus very much.
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
Rich people don't go to heaven. For as Jesus says, "It is easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
Abandon your wife and children for Jesus and he'll give you a big reward. 19:29
The parable of the unfair, lying employer
The kingdom of heaven is like a business that hires workers, paying each the same wage (one penny). Some work 12 hours for the penny;
others 9, 6, or 3 hours; and others for only one hour. If one of the 12-hour workers complains about it, his boss says,
"Hey, didn't you agree to work all day for a penny? What are you complaining about? From this parable, David Barton (and the Republicans)
claim that Jesus was against the minimum wage.
But the employer didn't say he'd pay each of the workers a penny; he said he'd pay them "whatsoever is right" (vv.4,7).
Is it right for one employee to be paid twelve times as much as another when both are doing the same type of work? 20:1-15
"Jesus ... touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight." 20:34
God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. When he sends servants to collect the rent,
the tenants beat or kill them. So he sent his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and kills
the farmers and rents the vineyard to others. 21:33-41
"Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder."
Whoever falls on "this stone" (Jesus) will be broken, and whomever the stone falls on will be ground into powder.
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and
good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him
into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
Jesus condemns the Jews for being "the children of them which killed the prophets."
Jesus blames his the Jews (who were then living) for "all the righteous blood" from Abel to
Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he
God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
"Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents." 25:27
Jesus will give to those who already have and take from those who have nothing. He must've been a Republican.
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be
"weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire."
Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46
Ointment for Jesus' head is more important than helping the poor. 25:6-11
"His blood be on us, and on our children." This verse blames the Jews for the death of Jesus and has been used to justify their persecution for twenty centuries.
Jesus becomes angry at those who said that he had an unclean spirit, so he announces the unforgivable sin:
blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. 3:29
Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell.
"For he that hath, to
him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that
which he hath." -- The US Republican Party motto
Jesus sends the devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people
hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13
Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of
Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament
law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) 7:9-10
Jesus initially refuses to cast out a devil from a Syrophoenician woman's daughter, calling the woman a "dog".
After much pleading, he finally agrees to cast out the devil. 7:27
If you're ashamed of Jesus, he'll be ashamed of you. 8:38
Jesus gets mad at his disciples for failing to cast out a devil and says, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with
you? how long shall I suffer you? 9:19
Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell.
Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than
for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 10:25
Jesus will reward men who abandon their wives and families. 10:29-30
God is like a rich man who owns a
vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. When he sends servants to collect the rent, the tenants beat or kill them. So
he sent his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and kills the farmers and gives the
vineyard to others. 12:1-9
In the last days God will make things especially rough on pregnant women.
Ointment for Jesus' head is more important than helping the poor. 14;3-7
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't
will be damned. 16:16
God strikes Zacharias dumb for doubting the angel Gabriel's words.
"How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?"
Just a few verses earlier (1:17-20), Zacharias is struck dumb for
doubting his wife's angel-assisted pregnancy. Why wasn't Mary punished for her
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the
"Be content with your wages" -- no matter how unjust they may be.
John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17
Peter and his partners (James and John) abandon their wives and children to follow Jesus. 5:11
Jesus cures a paralytic by forgiving his sins, thereby proving that he is God
(since only God can forgive sins) and paralysis is caused by sin. 5:18-25
Jesus says that people who are rich, well-fed, happy, or respected are going to hell. 6:24-26
"That he would come and heal his servant"
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK,
I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God."
Jesus says that he speaks in parables so "that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand."
"Whosoever hath, to him shall be
given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he
seemeth to have."
Jesus was the first Republican. 8:18
Jesus, when told that his mother and brothers want to see him, ignores and insults them by saying that his
mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it. 8:20-21
Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off
a cliff and drown in the sea. This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not favorably
impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37
Jesus speaks harshly to his disciples because they couldn't cure epilepsy by casting out devils. 9:41
Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not
"receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15
"This is an evil generation." 11:29
Jesus blames all the deaths of the prophets [from Abel(?) to Zacharias] on his generation. 11:47-50
Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and then torture us forever in hell.
"He that denieth me before men shall be denied before the angels of God." 12:9
Those who "blaspheme against the Holy Ghost" will never be forgiven. 12:10
Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes" and cuts them in pieces.
"Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division." 12:51
Jesus calls the people hypocrites because they cannot "discern this time." 12:56
"Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." 13:3, 5
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be
weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
Jesus says that his disciples must hate their families (mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives,
children) and themselves. 14:26
If you want to be a disciple of Jesus, you must abandon everything, including your family.
"Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of
unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations." 16:9
"If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will
commit to your trust the true riches?" 16:11
In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, because as Abraham explains, he had a
good life on earth and so now he will be tormented. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven.
This seems fair to Jesus. 16:19-31
Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and had no problem with
the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27
Jesus also believes the story about Noah's flood and Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in
the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and
history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32
The parable of the avenging, lazy, unjust judge (God). 18:1-6
Rich people cannot go to heaven. "For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a
rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." 18:25
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow.
The parable ends with the words: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay
them before me." 19:22-27
"Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds. (And they said unto him, Lord, he hath ten pounds.)
For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him."
These verses are used by Rethuglicans to justify protecting the rich from taxation. 19:24-26
Jesus believed the stupid and vicious story from Numbers 21.
(God sent snakes to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water.
Then God told Moses to make a brass snake to cure them from the bites.) 3:14
As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), God had his own son tortured and killed.
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe.
The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36
Jesus magically perceived that a Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times previously.
(He could spot a divorced woman a mile away.) Since women weren't allowed to get a divorce, it was always the woman's fault and divorced women were considered outcasts. This was a great opportunity for Jesus to explain why the Mosaic marriage laws were unjust and correct them --
if he thought they were wrong, that is, which apparently he didn't. 4:7-18
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to
"sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14
Jesus knew who could stomach the idea of eating his flesh and drinking his blood (the
Catholics, who are going to heaven) and who couldn't (the Protestants, who are going to hell). It's all a part of God's plan
and we have nothing to do with it. 6:64-66
Jesus tells his family that he wasn't going to the feast, but later goes "in secret."
If you don't believe in Jesus, you will "die in your sins" (and then go to hell).
Jesus calls his opponents (the Jews) the sons of the devil. 8:44
The disciples ask Jesus about the cause of a man's blindness. Was it because he or his parents sinned? Jesus said neither
had sinned. The man was born blind so that Jesus could show off his powers by curing him of his blindness.
Jesus says that he has come to make people blind. 9:39
"All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers."
Everyone that ever lived before Jesus was a thief and a robber. 10:8
Lararus must suffer and die (or pretend to die) so that Jesus can "be glorified" by raising
him from the dead. 11:4
Mary wastes expensive ointment on Jesus' feet, rather than selling the ointment and
giving the money to the poor. But Jesus thinks his feet are more important, saying that poor people will
always be around, but he and his precious feet won't be. (According to the New Oxford Annotated Bible, 300 denarii
would be nearly a year's wage for a laborer.) 12:3-8
You must hate your life in order to keep it. (If you love your life, you'll go to hell after you die.)
The reason people didn't believe in Jesus was that God had "blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart." God
did this so that they would not "understand with their heart, and be converted." This way God could damn more
people to hell. 12:40
If you don't believe in Jesus you are going to hell. 12:48
Jesus is the only way to heaven. All other religions lead to hell. 14:6
"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me:
and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father."
If you follow Jesus' teachings, God will love you -- otherwise... well, you know.
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned.
Now that Jesus has come, non-believers have no excuse for not believing in him.
Peter blames the Jews for the death of Jesus. 3:14-15
Peter claims that Dt.18:18-19
refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse to follow him (all nonchristians) must be killed.
God will torture forever those who don't know the password to heaven. 4:12
Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all of the money that they made when
selling their land. 5:1-10
Once again, Peter accuses the Jews of murdering Jesus. 5:30
Stephen blames the Jews for persecuting the prophets and murdering Jesus.
Jesus blinds Saul. 9:8
The Jews are again blamed for the death of Jesus. 10:39
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory."
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blind.
The author of Acts brags about God destroying "seven nations of the land of Canaan." 13:19
God chooses those who will believe [the right things], and only they will go to heaven. 13:48
If you "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ," then you and your whole family will be saved;
will send you all to hell. 16:30-31
"And when they [the Jews of Corinth] opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he [Paul] shook his raiment, and
said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads." (Have a nice day?) 18:6
Atheists have dark and foolish hearts. 1:21
The existence and nature of God are self-evident; thus, unbelievers are "without
God abandons those who don't know him to "uncleanness and vile affections."
"God gave them over to a reprobate mind." 1:28
With his usual intolerance, Paul condemns homosexuals (including lesbians). This is the only clear reference to
lesbians in the Bible. 1:26-28
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are
"worthy of death." 1:31-32
Paul asks the very good question: "Is there unrighteousness who taketh vengeance [upon innocent people]?" The
obvious answer to this is, yes. 3:5
Paul says that those who accuse him of lying deserve damnation. 3:8
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim.
"If ... we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son", then God is truly a monster. 5:10
God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim.
"By the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation." 5:18
"For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the
obedience of one shall many be made righteous."
It's difficult to imagine a more unjust system. 5:19
God gave the law so "that the offence might abound." 5:20
Everyone is predestined by God to be either saved or damned; they can do nothing to affect their final
No one can oppose Christians since God is on their side. 8:31
"He that spareth not his own son" shouldn't be trusted by anyone. 8:32
A Christian cannot be accused of any wrongdoing. 8:33
God makes some people that are destined to go to heaven and others that will go to hell. There is nothing that they
can do to change the will of God. Paul says that this is how it should be, saying: "What if God, willing to show his wrath,
and to make his power known" damns most of mankind to eternal torments of hell for things they either didn't do or
couldn't avoid doing? 9:11-22
"Esau have I hated." 9:13
"What shall be say then? Is their unrighteousness with God?" It sure looks like it!
"Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth."
God arbitrarily saves a few Jews. 11:1-5
God blinded the Jews so they wouldn't recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 11:7-10, 25
"Salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them [the Jews] to jealousy." 11:11
"As concerning the gospel, they are enemies for your sakes: but as touching the election,
they are beloved for the father's sakes."
Jews are enemies to Christians, but God loves them for their ancestors' sake. 11:28
Gentiles used to be unbelievers, but now the Jews are the unbelievers and God saves gentiles through Jewish unbelief. It's all a part of
God's plan. 11:30
Non-believing Jews will obtain mercy through the mercy of believers. 11:31
"The powers that be are ordained of God." Whoever resists them will be damned.
"He that doubteth is damned ... Whosoever is not of faith is sin." 14:23
Shun those who disagree with your religious views. 16:17
"I [God] will destroy the wisdom of the wise." 1:19
Christians can judge everything and everybody, but no non-Christian can judge them.
If you defile the temple of God, God will destroy you. 3:17
Paul, judging from rumors alone, complains
that there are fornicators among his followers in Corinth; he is even worried
that some have had sex with their fathers' wives. He says that those who have
done these things should be "delivered to Satan for the destruction of the flesh" so that their
soul can be saved. 5:1-5
A believer should not sue another believer in court. 6:1-7
"Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world?" 6:2
Paul lists ten things that will keep you out of heaven, including homosexuality and being
Everything is lawful to Paul, and he submits himself to no law. 6:12,
Slaves should not desire their freedom. 7:21
Paul quotes Dt.25:4, "Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that
treadeth out the corn." That sounds like a nice humane law. Until Paul explains it, that is. He asks, "Does God care about oxen?", and
then answers his own rhetorical question by saying, "Hell no. The law is for our sakes." 9:9-10
"I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some."
Paul says he'll do whatever it takes to make people believe in order to save them from a God who will torture them for their honest disbelief.
Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters
of Moab 10:8
If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?), you'll die from snake bites.
If you murmur, you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10
Those that "eateth and drinketh unworthily" will go to hell. 11:27
Women are commanded by Paul to be silent in church and to be obedient to men. He further says that "if they
will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in
Those who don't love Jesus are to be "anathema" (damned). 16:22
"Their minds were blinded ... the veil is upon their heart."
God blinds people to prevent them from seeing the truth. 3:15-16
The god of this world (Satan) has blinded the eyes of non-believers (lost people), who will be sent to hell by God after they die.
Jesus, who was without sin, was made into sin. This made the real sinners sinless. 5:21
Keep away from unbelievers. Neither marry nor be friends with them. 6:14-17
Paul set an example for televangelists by robbing some churches. 11:8
"Being crafty, I [Paul] caught you with guile." 12:16
Paul says he "will not spare" when he comes back to punish those who have
Are you a reprobate? Here's the test: if you know for sure that Jesus is in you, you're not a
reprobate. Otherwise you are. 13:5
If anyone dares to disagree with Paul on religious matters, "let him be
Those who try to follow the law are cursed. 3:10
Witches, idol worshippers, and heretics will not go to heaven. (Guess where they'll be
We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. None of our thoughts, words, or actions can affect
the final outcome. 1:4-5, 11
God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they didn't do. 1:7
We are by nature "the children of wrath." 2:3
Those who engage in "foolish talking" or "jesting" will not go to heaven. (Guess where they will be going.)
No "unclean person" or "idolater" will inherit the kingdom of God. (They'll all
be going to hell.) 5:5
Slaves must obey their masters "as unto Christ." 6:5
Everyone will have to worship Jesus -- whether they want to or not. 2:10-11
God bought us with someone else's blood. 1:14
God makes peace through blood. 1:19-20
Children should obey their parents "in all things." This verse must be a favorite for Christian
parents who abuse their children. 3:20
"Servants, obey in all things your masters." 3:22
It's okay to own slaves, but you should try to treat them well. 4:1
The elect and the damned are predestined by God. 1:4
God is planning a messy, mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus can save you from it.
Paul accuses "the Jews" of killing Jesus, persecuting the prophets, displeasing God, and being "contrary to
all men." He concludes that the wrath of God will "come upon them to the uttermost.
Christians shouldn't mourn the death of their fellow believers. They'll be OK and you'll see them later in heaven. The people you should
mourn are dead nonbelievers. They have no hope (because they're going to hell). 4:13
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them forever "in flaming fire."
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:11-12
God selects those who are to be saved (or damned) "from the beginning." It therefore makes no difference how
good, kind, honest, or loving we may be; if god hasn't chosen us, we will be damned. 2:13
Shun those who disagree with your interpretation of this epistle. 3:6, 14
Those who will not or cannot work should starve to death. 3:10
"Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have delivered unto Satan, that they may learn
not to blaspheme." Apparently (see 2 Tim.2:16-18
and 4:14-15) their "blasphemy" was disagreeing with Paul. 1:20
Honoring widows indeed 5:3-10
You should help a widow only if she:
Never help a young widow (one under 60 years old). When they wax wanton against Christ, they'll get
married, and be damned to hell for rejecting their faith. Besides, young widows are idle busybodies, wandering around from house to house saying
things they shouldn't say. They should get married and have children (though
they'll be damned to hell for it). Heck, some of them have already turned aside after Satan. 5:11-15
Publicly humiliate those who sin by announcing their sins in front of God and everybody so
"that others may also fear." 5:20
Slaves ("servants" in the KJV) should treat their masters "worthy of all honor, that the
name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed." This is especially true when both slave and owner are Christians. Anyone that teaches otherwise
is a proud know-nothing. 6:1-4
- Has no children or nephews
- Is desolate, trusts in God, and prays all the time
- Is not living in pleasure
(a widow living in pleasure is the living dead)
- Is over 60 years old
- Had only one husband
- Has raised children
- Has lodged strangers
- Has washed the saints' feet
- Has relieved the afflicted
- Has diligently followed every good work
God selected us to be either saved or damned, and there isn't a damned thing we can do about it.
"If we deny him [Jesus], he will deny us." Fair is fair! 2:12
Shun non-believers and other profane babblers. 2:16
Hymenaeus and Philetus are condemned for disagreeing with "Paul" about the timing of
the resurrection. (See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.4:14-15)
The devil can take us captive any time he pleases. 2:26
God will "reward" Alexander for the "blasphemy" of disagreeing with "Paul".
(See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.2:16-18)
Jews are unruly liars "whose mouths must be stopped." 1:10-11
The people of Crete are "always liars, evil beasts, slow bellies." 1:12
Slaves must obey their masters and "please them well in all things ... showing all good fidelity."
People aren't saved by doing good things, but by the arbitrary decision of God. He decides who gets washed by the Holy
Ghost and who doesn't. Hasa diga ebowai. 3:5
Heretics are to be rejected since they are subverted, sinners, and condemned by God. 3:10-11
Paul returns the runaway slave, Onesimus, to his "rightful owner", Philemon. This was, of course, a great opportunity for Paul (and God) to condemn slavery -- if he
(and God) had anything against it, that is. But he doesn't. Instead he returns the slave to his owner without a word against
the institution of slavery. 1:12
Every skeptic and nonbeliever has "an evil heart of unbelief." 3:12
It is impossible for fallen-away Christians to be saved. (Didn't the author know about confession or the finality
of being saved?) 6:4-6
"That which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned."
Apostates will burn in hell with the other non-believers. 6:8
"Melchisedec ... to whom also Abraham gave a tenth part of all."
Abraham gave Melchisedec one-tenth of all of the booty from "the slaughter of the kings,"
setting a fine example for religious hucksters everywhere. 7:1-2
God will not forgive anyone unless something is killed for him in a bloody manner. 9:13-22
"A certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which
shall devour the adversaries."
God will soon destroy non-believers in a fiery hell. 10:27
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. It will be much worse for those who displease
"Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord." 10:30
"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." 10:31
If you're not a Christian, it's impossible to please God. 11:6
"By faith Noah ... condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith." 11:7
"Abraham ... offered up Isaac ... his only begotten son." (And this was a good thing? How fucked up is that?) 11:17
The Israelites kept the passover and sprinkled blood on doorposts so that God wouldn't kill their firstborn children (like he did the Egyptians
in Exodus 12:29).
God saved Rahab because she believed. (He killed all the non-believers in Jericho.) 11:31
"Time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthah; of David also, and Samuel,
and of the prophets."
The heroes of faith: Gideon, Samson, Jephthah,
David, and Samuel. It would be hard to find a more monstrous group than these guys. 11:32
God always hurts the ones he loves. And if God doesn't hurt you, you are a
bastard, not a son. 12:6-8
God ordered animals to be "stoned, or thrust through with a dart" if they "so much as ... touch the mountain."
If you "keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, "you are guilty of all." 2:10
"He shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy." 2:13
James says Abraham was justified by works (for being willing to
kill his son for God); Paul (Rom.4:2-3) says he
was justified by faith (for believing that God would order him to do such an
evil act). 2:21
"Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss."
If your prayers are not answered, it's your own damned fault. 4:3
Whoever is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. 4:4
We are all, according to Peter, predestined to be saved or damned. We have no say in the matter. It was all
determined by "the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ."1:2
"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man."
Even unjust laws and dictators? 2:13
"Submit yourselves ... to the king ... for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well."
Monarchy is the Biblically-approved form of government whose purpose is to punish evildoers and praise do-gooders.
According to Peter, kings reign by divine right and everyone, therefore, should "honor the king."
God drowned everyone on earth except for Noah and his family. 3:20
Things may get rough for Christians, but it will really be hell for nonbelievers. 4:17-18
"Turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes" 2:6
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
Lot, who in Gen.19:8
offers his two virgin daughters to a crowd of angel rapers and later (19:30-38) impregnates them, was a
"righteous man." 2:8
God knows how to punish those that "despise government." 2:9-10
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to death.
When Jesus returns, he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it. 3:10
Every non-Christian is liar and an antichrist. 2:22,
Christians are alive; non-Christians are dead. 5:12
Christians are "of God;" everyone else is wicked. 5:19
Non-Christians are deceivers and antichrists. 7
Don't associate with non-Christians. Don't receive them into your house or even exchange greeting
with them. 10
The authors says he "will remember his [Diotrephes] deeds ... pratting against us with malicious words." 10
God pre-ordained that certain "ungodly" men would deny Jesus. 1:4
God destroys non-believers. 1:5
God sent "eternal fire" on the people of Sodom and Gomorrah for "going after strange flesh."
Everyone on earth will "wail because of him [Jesus]. 1:7
False Jews are members of "the synagogue of Satan." 2:9
"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." 2:23
Those in Thyatira that obey God/Jesus until the end will rule everyone else with an iron rod. They'll even get to smash
the others into pieces. He'll even throw in the morning star (the planet Venus?). 2:26-28
God will make "the synagogue of Satan" [the Jews] "come and worship before thy feet." (Whose
feet? Well, the feet of Christians, of course!) 3:9
God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people.
God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth ... that they should kill one another."
God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's
population with the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth." 6:8
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives them a white robe
and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6:10-11
God tells his murderous angels to "hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants
of your God on their foreheads." This verse is one that Christians like to use to show God's loving concern for the
environment. But the previous verse (7:2) makes it clear that it was their God-given job to "hurt the earth and the sea"
just as soon as they finished their forehead marking job. 7:3
God sends his angels to destroy a third part of all the trees, grass, sea
creature, mountains, sun, moon, starts, and water. 8:7-13
"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter." 8:11
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] ...
but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather
torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them.
God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads, women's hair, lion's teeth, and scorpion's tails. They
sting people and hurt them for five months. 9:7-10
Four angels, with an army of 200 million, killed a third of the earth's population.
Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and
two candlesticks (God's witnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths.
God's witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cannot rain, turn rivers
into blood, and smite the earth with plagues "as often as they will." 11:6
When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This was the second woe. "The
third woe cometh quickly." 11:13-14
The devil, after he is expelled from heaven, is sent down to earth to wreak havoc on its inhabitants.
Only 144,000 celibate men will be saved. (Those who were not "defiled with women.")
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God ... and shall be
tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever."
Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. 15:1,
The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores, 2) sea turned to blood, 3) rivers turned to blood, 4) people scorched with
fire, 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain, 6) Euphrates dries up, 7) thunder, lightning, earthquake, and hail.
"There fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast." 16:2
"The second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea."
"The third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters;
and they became blood." 16:4
The angel says God is righteous for turning rivers into blood. Well, it's an interesting point of view.
But I'd say he's a raving lunatic. 16:5
Another angel tells God how righteous he is because he gives saints blood to drink. 16:7
"Power was given unto him [the fourth angel] to scorch men with fire." 16:8
"The fifth angel poured out his vial ... and they gnawed their tongues for pain." 16:10
Even after being burned alive, those nasty people wouldn't repent! 16:11
The sixth angel dries up the Euphrates river. 16:12
God destroyed every island and mountain (just for the hell of it). 16:20
Christians will fight in the war between Jesus and those allied with the beast.
Jesus makes war. 19:11
With eyes aflame, many crowns on his head, clothes dripping with blood, a sword sticking
out of his mouth, and a secret name, Jesus leads the faithful into holy war.
"Come ... unto the supper of the great God." An angel calls all the fowls to feast
upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies, "both free and bond, both small and great."
The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire. The rest were killed with the sword of
Jesus. "And all the fowls were filled with their flesh." 19:20-21
When the thousand years are over, God will send Satan to deceive us all. 20:7-8
God will send fire from heaven to devour people. And the devil will be tormented "day and night for ever
and ever." 20:9-10
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast into "the lake which burneth with fire and
"Dogs [homosexuals?], sorcerers, whoremongers, idolaters" and along with anyone who ever told a lie will not enter
the heavenly city. 22:15