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SAB Highlights: Jeremiah - Daniel
- Circumcise the foreskin of your heart or God will burn you to death. 4:4
- He will bring evil to entire cities, destroying them and wipe out all of their inhabitants. 4:6-8
- He will send lions, wolves, and leopards to tear people to pieces. 5:6
- He just can't hold in his fury any longer. He will kill everyone: husbands and wives, children and old people.
- He will punish the men by taking away their property, including their wives, and giving it to others.
- He will kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons, family, friends, and neighbors. He plans to kill
them all after laying a stumbling block before them. 6:21
- He will pour out his anger on both man and beast. Not even the trees will be spared from his wrath.
And the ground itself will burn forever. 7:20
- He will feed people to the birds and the beasts and no one will scare them away. 7:33
- He will cover the earth with dead bodies that will not be buried. "They shall be for dung upon the face of the earth."
- People will choose to kill themselves, rather than be killed by their vicious God. 8:3
- To punish men, he will "give their wives unto others." 8:10
- He will send serpents to cockatrices to bite you. 8:17
- He will give the people bad food and water, and then kill them with a sword. 9:15-16
- He will kill children and young men, and the dead bodies "shall fall as dung .... and none shall gather them."
- He is the source of evil. 11:11, 16:10-11,
19:3, 23:12, 26:3,13,19,
32:42, 35:17, 36:3, 36:31,
40:2, 42:10, 44:2, 45:5,
- He forbids others from praying for his victims. Such prayers would
be useless anyway, he says, because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble." 11:14
- He will punish people by killing their young men in war and starving their children to death. 11:22
- God will kill the young men in war and starve their children to death. 11:22-23
- His sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have peace." 12:12
- He will make everyone drunk and then "dash the fathers and the sons together." He vows to "not
pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them." 13:13-14
- He tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. God has decided to kill them all and he doesn't want to be talked out of it.
- God promises to kill everyone by war, starvation, and disease. 14:12,
24:10, 29:17-18, 42:17-18, 22
- He will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets. 14:16
- He plans to kill people with swords, tear their flesh with dogs, and feed their bodies to the birds and beasts.
Why? Because of something some former king did. 15:2-4
- He will kill children, make more widows than there are grains of sand, terrorize cities, and then kill the survivors.
- He told Jeremiah not to get married or have children, because he will kill everyone (mothers and daughters,
fathers and sons). They all "shall die of grievous deaths," and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried,
but "shall be as dung upon the face of the earth." For he has removed peace, "lovingkindness,"
and mercy from the people. 16:1-7
- When the people ask why God is killing everyone, he answers by saying, "Because your fathers have
forsaken me." 16:10
- He will make parents eat their own children, and friends eat each other. 19:7-9
- He will kill everyone, "both man and beast," with a "great pestilence." 21:6
- He will force all of Israel to get drunk. Then, he'll
kill them all with a sword. 25:27-29
- He will kill so many people that the entire earth will be covered with their dead bodies. No one is to mourn
them or even bury them, "they shall be as dung upon the ground." 25:33
- He will bring evil on all flesh. 45:5
- On the day of the Lord, God's sword will become drunk with blood. 46:10
- He plans to kill just about everybody. "No city shall escape" and "cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood."
- He will cause the daughters of Rabbah to be burned to death. 49:2
- He will "break in pieces" pretty much everyone and everything he can think of. 51:21-23
- He will get the Babylonians drunk and then kill them all, leading them "like lambs to the slaughter."
- God will force the Babylonians to get so drunk that they die from alcohol poisoning. 51:57
- Jerusalem is compared to a naked woman who sighs and turns backward. "Her filthiness is
in her skirts." 1:8-9
- The adversary puts his hand upon "all her pleasant things." 1:10
- "The LORD hath trodden the virgin ... as in a winepress." 1:15
- "Jerusalem is as a menstrous woman." (To God this is an insult.) 1:17
- ""He hath bent his bow like an enemy ... and slew all that were pleasant to the eye ... he poured out his fury like fire."
- God mercilessly kills everyone, young and old. He even causes women to eat their children. 2:20-22
- He is like a bear or a lion who secretly pursues you and then tears you apart. 3:10-11
- He shoots people with his bow and breaks their teeth with stones. 3:13-16
- "Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?"
(Mostly evil, I'd say -- at least if you believe the Bible.) 3:38
- "Thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied." 3:43
- "Thou hast covered thyself with a cloud, that our prayer should not pass through." 3:44
- He "accomplishes his fury" on the Israelites by starving children to death and forcing their mothers
to eat them. 4:4-11
- Rejoice and be glad, O daughter of Edom ... Thou shalt be drunken, and shalt make thyself naked."
(When God gets angry at you he calls you a drunken whore.) 4:21
- Ezekiel sees God's loins ("the glory of the Lord"), which were on fire. 1:27, 8:2
- At God's command, Ezekiel eats a book that tastes as sweet as honey. 2:9 - 3:3
- If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block before him," God will
kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he has done will be forgotten. 3:20,
- The spirit (of God?) enters Ezekiel, ties him up, and makes his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth so that he could no longer speak.
- God makes Ezekiel lay on his right side for 390 days, and then on his left side for another 40 days. 4:4-8
- He tells Ezekiel to bake and eat bread that is made with the "dung that cometh out of man." 4:12
- He tells him to shave his head and beard, divide the cut hair into thirds, burn one portion, smite
the second with a knife, and scatter the third in the wind. 5:1-3
- He will force fathers to eat their sons and sons to eat their fathers and will cause every man's sword to be against his brother.
- God will slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third with wars. If any somehow
survive, he'll send "evil beasts" to devour them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted." 5:11-17
- He plans to kill everyone with plagues, famines, and wars. If any survive, he'll send beasts to devour them. He will decorate the land with human bones and dead bodies.
- He tells Ezekiel to clap his hands and stamp his feet while saying, "they shall fall by the sword, by the famine,
and by the pestilence." 6:11
- "The end is come upon the four corners of the land ... Now is the end come." 7:3-6
- God will pour out his fury on everyone, with pity toward none. By so doing he says that "ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth."
- He is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He'll kill them all -- good and bad, just and unjust -- with war,
disease, and starvation. He will ignore them when they beg for mercy. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall know that I am the Lord."
7:14-27, 8:18, 21:3-5
- A detached hand grabbed Ezekiel by the hair and raised him up between heaven and earth. 8:3
- God marks the foreheads of the men who will be saved. All of the women
and unmarked men will be slaughtered. He will "fill the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. 9:4
- God will kill nearly everyone in one way or another (sword, famine, pestilence), but he'll leave a few men standing "to declare
their abominations among the heathen." 12:15-16
- He dislikes women and pillows. "Woe to the women that sew pillows ... behold, I am against your pillows."
- He deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies. 14:9, 20:25
- He dresses up Jerusalem, cleans off the blood that she was wallowing in, and compliments her on her nice hair and breasts. 16:8
- Seeing that it is the time for love, God spreads his skirt over Jerusalem to cover her nakedness. 16:8
- After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once more. Then he'll have her
stoned "with stones and thrust through with swords." 16:38-41
- His ex-girlfriend (Jerusalem) had sex with every man that passed by. She especially liked the Egyptians with big penises.
If no one was available, she "committed whoredom" with "images of men." 16:15-26
- A just man never gets near a menstruating woman. 18:5-6
- "For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."
- "They shall take away thy nose and thine ears ... Thou shalt ... pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord." 23:25,
- God gets all excited about cooking human flesh and "scum." 24:3-10
- He killed Ezekiel's wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelites' children.
Just as God told Ezekiel not to
mourn his wife's death, God forbids the parents to mourn the death of their children. 24:15-24
- God will vex hearts, destroy nations, brandish his sword, kill animals, and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him.
- If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thing that that person has ever done. Then God will
kill him for the single mistake. 33:12-13
- He showed Ezekiel how to join together dead people's bones and then
bring them back to life. (The leg bone connected to the thigh bone.) 37:7-10
- He is preparing a feast for the birds and beasts. They will eat human flesh until they're full and drink human blood
until they're drunk. 39:4, 17-20
- Nebuchadnezzar decrees that anyone who says anything against the Hebrew god "shall be cut in pieces, and their
houses shall become a dunghill." 3:29
- Daniel's dream tree is tall enough to see to the end of the earth.
Only on a flat earth would this be possible. 4:10-11
- Nebuchadnezzar eats grass, grows hair like eagle feathers, and has nails like bird claws.
- A detached hand writes upon a wall. 5:5-6
- Nebuchadnezzar orders those who accused Daniel (including their wives and children) to be cast into the lions