Highlights
-All: Genesis - Revelation
-Genesis - Deuteronomy
-Joshua - 2 Chronicles
-Ezra - Isaiah
-Jeremiah - Daniel
-Hosea - Micah
-Nahum - Malachi
-Matthew - John
-Acts - Ephesians
-Colossians - Hebrews
-James - Revelation

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SAB Highlights: Ezra - Isaiah

Ezra | Nehemiah | Esther | Job | Psalms | Proverbs | Ecclesiastes | Song of Solomon | Isaiah

    Ezra

  1. Check out the contradictions between the boring lists given in Ezra 2 and Neh.7.

  2. The Israelites offend God by "taking" foreign wives and thereby corrupting the "holy seed." 9:2

  3. When Ezra hears of the intermarriages he tears his clothes, plucks out his hair and beard, and sits down astonished. 9:3

  4. Ezra tells the men that they must abandon their "strange" wives and children if they want to avoid God's wrath. 10:2-3, 10-12

    Nehemiah

  5. Check out the contradictions between the boring lists given in Ezra 2 and Neh.7.

  6. Nehemiah rebukes the men for marrying "strange wives." To punish them he "contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair." 13:25-27

    Esther

  7. King Ahasuerus throws a party and encourages his guests to drink to excess. Then, when they are all drunk, he orders Queen Vashti to show her stuff before him and his guests. 1:7-11

  8. Queen Vashti (the real heroine of the Book of Esther) refuses to display herself in front of the king's drunken guests. 1:7-12

  9. For her refusal, Vashti is stripped of her crown and came "no more before king." 1:13-19

  10. Because of Vashti's disobedience the king decrees that "all the wives shall give to their husbands honor" and "that every man should bear rule over his own house." 1:20-22

  11. "All the fair young virgins" throughout the kingdom are brought before the king and the one that "pleaseth" him the most will replace Queen Vashti. 2:2-4

  12. Esther wins the pleasing the king babe contest. 2:8-9

  13. But since women are dirty, she must be "purified" for twelve months before she can be made queen. 2:12

  14. Esther has Haman and his ten sons hung. 7:10, 9:13

  15. At Esther's request, the king orders everyone in the empire who planned to kill Jews to be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. 8:9-19

  16. The Jews kill everyone who ever had a bad thought toward them, along with their Jew-hating families. 9:1-16

    Job

  17. Job was a perfect man, the richest in all the east. He had 7 sons, 3 daughters, thousands of animals, and many slaves. 1:1-4

  18. God makes a bet with his son, Satan, telling Satan to do nasty things to Job to see if he can get Job to curse God to his face. 1:6-12

  19. Job's slaves and animals are burned to death or killed with swords. Then Job's children are killed in a windstorm while partying. 1:13-19

  20. God kills (or allows Satan to kill) Job's children, but Job doesn't "foolishly" blame God. 1:20-22

  21. He allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-7

  22. He gives Job to Satan, saying: "Behold, all that he hath is in thy power." 2:6

  23. Satan (or God) smites Job with boils from the "sole of his foot unto his crown." 2:7

  24. Job's wife says that to retain his integrity he should "curse God and die." 2:9

  25. Job curses the day he was born. 3:1-2, 3:11

  26. God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys the perfect along with the wicked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges. 9:17-24

  27. After God and Satan get done tormenting Job, God gave Job even more stuff than he had before, including children. God gave Job another set of 10 kids, with even prettier daughters! 42:13-15

    Psalms

  28. God will hit the heathens with a rod of iron and "dash them in pieces." 2:9

  29. "My God ... thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly." 3:7

  30. God hates sinners. 5:5

  31. Dead people neither remember God nor give him thanks. 6:5

  32. "God will whet his sword; he hath bent his bow ... He hath ... prepared ... the instruments of death." 7:11-13

  33. "Thou hast destroyed cities." 9:6

  34. God hides from those who need him the most. 10:1

  35. "His eyelids try the children of men." 11:4

  36. God will rain fire and brimstone upon "wicked" people. 11:6

  37. Atheists are fools who never do anything good. 14:1, 53:1

  38. "At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." 16:11

  39. Smoke comes out of God's nose and fire comes out of his mouth. 18:8

  40. God rides upon cherubs and can fly. 18:10

  41. The God of Peace teaches us to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34, 144:1

  42. God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies. 18:40-43

  43. If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death and shoot you in the back with his arrows. 21:9-12

  44. Hate people, but trust in God. 31:6

  45. Those who are poor or hungry just aren't seeking God enough. 34:9, 37:3

  46. God laughs at those he will later torment. 37:13

  47. "My loins are filled with a loathsome disease." 38:7

  48. God's clothes smell like myrrh, aloes, and cassia. 45:8

  49. If you forget God, he will tear you in pieces. 50:22

  50. If you don't trust God, he'll kill you, and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you. 52:5-6

  51. Bad people are bad from birth -- God made them that way. 58:3

  52. "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth, ... let them be cut pieces." 58:6-8

  53. "The righteous" will rejoice when they see "the wicked" being dismembered by God. They'll "wash their feet in the blood of the wicked." 58:10

  54. The heathen "make a noise like a dog ... Behold, they belch out with their mouths." 59:5-7

  55. God will "wound the head of his enemies" and the righteous will dip their feet in their blood. 68:21-23

  56. "Let their eyes be darkened ... and make their loins continually to shake." 69:23

  57. The earth is stationary and does not move. 93:1, 104:5

  58. God heals all diseases. Medical science is unnecessary. 103:2-3

  59. God will "fill the places with dead bodies." 110:6

  60. "The dead praise not the Lord." 115:17

  61. God is praised for slaughtering little babies. 135:8

  62. "To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." 136:10

  63. Happiness is smashing your little children against rocks. 137:9

  64. "If I make my bed in hell, behold thou art there." 139:8

  65. "Do not I hate them, O Lord? ... I hate them with a perfect hatred." 139:19-22

  66. A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10

  67. "Praise the LORD ... ye dragons." 148:7

    Proverbs

  68. God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when your ask him for help. 1:26-28

  69. Watch out for those strange, brawling, angry, contentious, adulterous, odious women. 2:16-18, 5:3-5, 6:24-26, 7:5-27, 21:19, 22:14, 23:27-28, 25:24, 27:15, 30:20, 30:23

  70. Foolish women are simple and know nothing; they drag innocent men into hell. 9:13

  71. "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion." 11:22

  72. Beat the hell out of your children. 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15

  73. "The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil; so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." 20:30

  74. The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous. 21:18

  75. Beat your slaves just like you do your children. Don't try to correct them with words. 29:19

  76. If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and feed them to the eagles. 30:17

    Ecclesiastes

  77. "That which is done is that which shall be done." 1:9

  78. "There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour." 2:24

  79. "To everything there is a season." 3:1

  80. "There is no good ... but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life." 3:12

  81. "Every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour." 3:13

  82. "For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast." 3:19

  83. "All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again." 3:20

  84. "Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?" 3:21

  85. "There is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works." 3:22

  86. "Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king." 4:13

  87. "A fool's voice is known by multitude of words." 5:3

  88. "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools." 7:5

  89. "I applied mine heart to know, and to search, and to seek out wisdom, and the reason of things." 7:25

  90. "A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry." 8:15

  91. "For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion." 9:4

  92. "For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten." 9:5

  93. "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart." 9:7

  94. "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." 9:10

  95. "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all." 9:11

  96. "Walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes." 11:9

  97. "Of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh." 12:12

    Song of Solomon

  98.  "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. 1:2

  99.  "He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts." 1:13

  100. "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." 2:3

  101.  "His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me ... stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please." 2:6-7, 8:3-4

  102. "My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies." 2:16

  103. "I had brought him ... into the chamber of her that conceived me ... stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please. 3:4-5

  104. "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins." 4:5, 7:3

  105. "How much better is thy love than wine!" 4:10

  106. "Come ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." 4:16

  107. "I have drunk my wine ... O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly." 5:1

  108. "Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled." 5:2

  109.  "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." 5:4

  110. "I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself." 5:6

  111.  "The joints of thy thighs are like jewels." 7:1

  112. "Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies." 7:2

  113.  "Thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine." 7:8

  114. "I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate." 8:2

  115.  "We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts ... [But] my breasts [are] like towers." 8:8, 10

    Isaiah

  116. "When ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear." 1:15

  117. "God will "smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion" because he dislikes the way they dress and walk. 3:16

  118. "The Lord will discover their secret parts." 3:17

  119. "The Lord shall hiss for the fly ... and for the bee." 7:18

  120. God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm." 9:19-20

  121. "He shall smite the earth: with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked." 11:4

  122. If God can find you, he will "thrust you through," smash your children "to pieces" before your eyes, and rape your wife. 13:15-18

  123. "Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers." 14:21

  124. "Out of the serpent's root shall come forth a cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fiery flying serpent." 14:29

  125. Every head will be bald, every beard will be shaved, and everyone will howl and weep abundantly. 15:2-3

  126. "Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp." 16:11

  127. God will ride in on a cloud and scare the hell out of the Egyptians. 19:1

  128. God sends a "perverse spirit" among the Egyptians and causes them to err "as a drunken man staggereth in his vomit." 19:14

  129. God tells Isaiah to take off all his clothes and to wander around completely naked for three years as a "sign and a wonder." 20:2-5

  130. "Therefore are my loins filled with pain ... I was dismayed at the seeing of it." 21:3

  131. "She shall turn to her hire, and shall commit fornication with all the kingdoms of the world ... and her hire shall be holiness to the LORD." 23:17-18

  132. The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth, burning everyone and every living thing alive (except maybe a few men). 24:1-6

  133. "The earth shall reel to and fro like a drunkard ... it shall fall, and not rise again." 24:20

  134. "All tables are full of vomit and filthiness." 28:8

  135. "Thou shalt cast them away as a menstrous cloth." 30:22

  136. "The light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold." 30:26

  137. "The Lord ... will bring evil." 31:1-2

  138. "Tremble, ye women that are at ease ... strip you, and make you bare." 32:11

  139. "There stink shall come up out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood." 34:2-3

  140. God's sword is "filled with blood." He plans to kill so many people that the "land will be soaked with blood." 34:5-8

  141. "That they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you." 36:12

  142. God will "go forth as a mighty man" who cries and roars, and "will cry like a travailing woman." 42:13

  143. God created evil. 45:7

  144. "Make bare the leg, uncover the thigh ... Thy nakedness shall be uncovered." 47:2-3

  145. God will force people to "eat their own flesh" and be "drunken with their own blood." 49:26

  146. "Thou shalt also suck the milk of the Gentiles, and shalt suck the breast of kings." 60:16

  147. God's clothes will get stained with the blood of humans. 63:3-6

  148. God will "plead with all flesh" with his fire and sword. "And the slain of the Lord shall be many." 66:16

  149. The carcasses of those killed by God will be piled high. They will rot and burn forever. 66:24