Ezekiel
Introduction

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48


Absurdities
Cruelty and Violence
Injustice
Women
Sex
Intolerance
Language
Contradictions
Family Values
Prophecy
Interpretation
Science and History
Boring Stuff
Politics
Good Stuff
Homosexuality

SAB: Ezekiel

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Ezekiel: Language

  1. God tells Ezekiel to eat barley cakes that are made with "the dung that cometh out of man." (Yum!) 4:12

  2. God dresses up Jerusalem, cleans off the blood that she was wallowing in, and compliments her on her nice hair and breasts. 16:6-7, 22

  3. Jerusalem was a harlot who had sex with everyone that passed by. If no one was available, she "committed whoredom" with "images of men." 16:15-17

  4. "Thou hast ... madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them." 16:17

  5. "Thou ... hast opened thy feet to every one that passed by." 16:25

  6. "Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians thy neighbours, great of flesh." (Jerusalem had sex with Egyptians with big penises.) 16:26

  7. Jerusalem still wasn't satisfied after having sex with the the well-endowed Egyptians (v.26), so she had sex with Assyrians, Canaanites, Chaldeans, and complete strangers, but still was not satisfied. So she hired men to "come in unto [her] on every side." 16:28-29

  8. God calls Jerusalem "an imperious whorish woman." 16:30

  9. God says that Jerusalem has sex with strangers, hiring them to "come in unto thee on every side." 16:32-33

  10. Because she is such a filthy harlot, God will expose her nakedness before all of her lovers. 16:35-37

  11. After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once more. Then he'll have her stoned "with stones and thrust through with swords." 16:38-41

  12. "I will consume thy filthiness out of thee." 22:15

  13. Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death. 23:1-49

  14. "Their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity." 23:3

  15. "Thus she committed her whoredoms with them ... with all their idols she defiled herself." 23:7

  16. "They bruised the breasts of her virginity, and poured their whoredom upon her." 23:8

  17. "And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them." 23:17

  18. "So she discovered her whoredoms, and discovered her nakedness ... she multiplied her whoredoms." 23:18-19

  19. Really Big Penises. One of the sister (Aholibah) had lovers "whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." 23:20

  20. "The lewdness of thy youth, in bruising thy teats by the Egyptians for the paps of thy youth." 23:21

  21. "Thou shalt ... pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord GOD." 23:34

  22. God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned. Her scum shall be in the fire." 24:3-14