Ecclesiastes: Absurdity

  1. "The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem ... I the Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem ... I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me."
    The author of Ecclesiastes claims to be the wise, rich son of King David, which is to say, Solomon. He isn't. Ecclesiastes was written (forged) about six hundred years after Solomon died (if he ever lived, that is). 1:1, 12, 16
  2. "He hath made every thing beautiful."
    Everything is beautiful in its own way. Parasitic worms, cancer cells, bubonic plague. You just have to look at it from God's eyes. 3:11a
  3. "No man can find out the work that God maketh."
    Science is impossible. We can learn nothing at all about the natural world. 3:11b
  4. God makes everything happen over and over. 3:15
  5. "The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh." 4:5
  6. "If two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?" 4:11
  7. "Neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?"
    Don't admit making an error to an angel or God will get angry and destroy your work. 5:6
  8. "The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep."
    Hungry people always sleep well; rich people never do. 5:12
  9. "That which is far off, and exceeding deep, who can find it out?"
    Who can find out? We can by using science! The earth, ocean, solar system, galaxy, and universe -- nothing is too deep or far away for science to discover and explore. 7:24
  10. Humans were good when God made them, but then they made inventions. 7:29
  11. Wisdom makes a person's face shine. 8:1
  12. "Then I beheld all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun: because though a man labour to seek it out, yet he shall not find it; yea farther; though a wise man think to know it, yet shall he not be able to find it."
    Oh, I think science has done a pretty good job of finding things out over the last four centuries or so. 8:16
  13. "Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment." 9:8
  14. "A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left." 10:2
  15. "He that is a fool walketh by the way ... he saith to every one that he is a fool."
    You can tell a fool by the way he walks. 10:3
  16. "Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days." 11:1
  17. "Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth." 11:2
  18. "In the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be." 11:3
  19. "He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap." 11:4