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Boring stuff in the Book of Mormon

    1 Nephi

  1. For no apparent reason, Joseph Smith Nephi copied two chapters from the King James Version of Isaiah (48 and 49) onto his brass plates, changing a word here or there just for the heck of it. 20:1 - 21:26

    2 Nephi

  2. Jacob takes a break from his preaching (again) and throws in another couple chapters from Isaiah. (Isaiah 50 and 51) Chapters 7 and 8

  3. Nephi's "soul delighteth" in the words of Isaiah. So he throws in another 13 chapters or so. (Isaiah 2 and 14) Chapters 12 - 24.


  4. Jacob's parable about the tame and wild olive trees.
    This is the longest and most boring chapter in the most boring book ever written (The Book of Mormon). Thirty-one times it came to pass that the trees were cumbered, grafted, pruned, plucked, dunged, and digged about for no apparent purpose, except to waste 3733 words. 5:1-77

  5. Jacob continues to tell us about Jesus, who will be born 500 or so years in the future. You must believe in him (even centuries before he was born) or you'll burn in hell. This is the umpteenth time Book of Mormon has told us about this. 6:1-13



  6. "And it came to pass that after Mosiah had done as his father had commanded him, and had made a proclamation throughout all the land, that the people gathered themselves together throughout all the land, that they might go up to the temple to hear the words which king Benjamin should speak unto them. ... O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it. " 2:1-41

  7. Mosiah tells us one more time about Jesus, who will be born in another 120 years or so. This is the umpteenth time Jesus is prophesied in great detail in the Book of Mormon. It's almost as though the whole thing was written using language that mimicked the King James Version of the Bible by someone living in nineteenth century America. 3:1-27

  8. "And king Benjamin again opened his mouth and began to speak unto them, saying...." 4:4-30

  9. And with that, King Benjamin broke into one of his boring speeches again. 5:7-15

  10. Lehi then preaches for a little while about how the tribute was their fault in the first place; that it was a punishment sent from the Lord because of their iniquity. Luckily, God is now giving them a second chance. 7:19-33