2 Kings
Introduction

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11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25


Absurdities
Cruelty and Violence
Contradictions
Injustice
Intolerance
Family Values
Science and History
Language
Interpretation
Prophecy
Homosexuality
Good Stuff

Dwindling in Unbelief
-2 Kings




SAB: 2 Kings

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"Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" -- 2 Kings 18:27

Second Kings for Skeptics

If you read nothing else in 2 Kings, be sure to read 2:23-24, where God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. It's one of the many Bible stories that you never heard in Church or Sunday School.

Highlights:

  • God's 82nd killing:
    Elijah proves that he is a man of God by burning to death 102 men. 1:10, 12

  • God's 83rd killing:
    God kills Ahaziah for consulting another God. 1:16-17

  • God's 84th killing:
    God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head. 2:23-24

  • God's 85th killing:
    The Lord delivered the Moabites. 3:18-25

  • Elisha makes his servant (Gehazi) and all of his descendants lepers forever. 5:27

  • Elisha makes an iron axe head swim. 6:6

  • God answers Elisha's prayer by smiting his adversaries with blindness. 6:18

  • Mothers boiling and eating their own children. 6:28-29

  • "Behold, this evil is from the Lord." 6:33

  • A skeptic is trampled to death. 7:17-20

  • God's 86th killing:
    God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years. 8:1

  • God vows to "cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall." 9:8

  • God's 87th killing:
    God pays back Ahab by killing his son. 9:24-25

  • God's 88th killing:
    God has Jezebel thrown off a wall and feeds her body to the dogs. 9:33-37

  • God's 89th killing:
    All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed, their heads put in baskets, and sent to Jehu. (God was punishing Ahab for not killing a captured king. See 1 Kings 20:42) 10:1-10

  • God's 90th killing:
    "So Jehu slew all that remained of the house of Ahab in Jezreel, and all his great men, and his kinsfolks, and his priests, until he left him none remaining." 10:11

  • "They took them alive, and slew ... two and forty men."
    Jehu meets with 42 brothers of Ahaziah, and then he murders them. 2 Chronicles 22:7 says that his killing was "of God." 10:13-14

  • God's 91st killing:
    Jehu shows off his "zeal for the Lord" by murdering the rest of Ahab's family in Samaria. 10:16-17

  • Jehu assembled the followers of Baal and them slaughtered them all. 10:18-28

  • God rewards Jehu for murdering Ahab and his family. 10:30

  • God, the divine physician, strikes king Azariah with leprosy. 15:5

  • God's 92nd killing:
    God sends lions to devour the Samaritans because "they knew not the manner of the God of the land." 17:25-26

  • "That they may eat their own dung and drink their own piss with you" 18:27

  • God's 93rd killing:
    An angel of the Lord kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they arose, behold, they were all dead corpses." 19:35

  • God's 94th killing:
    God caused king Sennacherib to be murdered by his sons. 19:36-37

  • Isaiah makes the sun move ten degrees backwards. 20:11

  • God will "bring such evil upon Jerusalem and Judah, that whosoever heareth of it, both his ears shall tingle." 21:12